


The High Road

by Darth_Ezzy_Of_Gallifrey



Series: Together We Fall [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Based on, Boys Kissing, DEAL WITH IT, Denial of Feelings, Drunk Kylo Ren, Falling In Love, I like Armitage, I'm a cruel writer, Loss of Limbs, M/M, Mild Smut, Post-Canon, Scar Fetish, Secret Mission, Songfic, The High Road, The Schwartz gets an appearance, Torture, at least he thinks so, by Three Days Grace, hux can't deal with it, kylo fucks shit up, shipping it so much, sort of redemption but not really, these two are trash, trust me it gets angsty, you probably gonna hate me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-05-17 05:09:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 66,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5855359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darth_Ezzy_Of_Gallifrey/pseuds/Darth_Ezzy_Of_Gallifrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>«So» he asked, turning to face Kylo «Are you going to tell me what’s going on? Why did those stormtroopers shoot at us? And I don’t buy the “they were actually the Resistance”, because that’s simply ridiculous!»<br/>Ren stared silently to the ground, apparently very interested in the shape of his boots. He seemed… embarrassed?<br/>«You might want to sit down first» he said, finally.<br/>«I’m fine standing» the ginger replied, sensing bad news on the way.<br/>«No, I mean it: sit down».<br/>A cold shiver ran down Hux’s spine. He looked around him, searching for the most comfortable looking rock and after sweeping a bit of dust from the top he sat on it, stiff as a piece of wood. A tiny voice in his head was telling him the news were worse than he could possibly imagine. [...]<br/>«Are you telling me» Hux mumbled incredulous, after a long silence, and he carefully pronounced each single word «That you deliberately betrayed the First Order and now you’re a fugitive?»<br/>«Err, technically you came with me voluntarily… So we betrayed the First Order. And now we are fugitives».<br/>The General - former General now - didn’t say a word. He just stared at him, dangerously expressionless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue - You can run, but you can't hide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Kylo deals with the consequences of his actions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song “The High Road” by Three Days Grace inspired me this story; I put a first piece of the lyrics here in the prologue, there will be another piece of it in the epilogue! If you’re interested, there is a video of the song [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ypl0gPtk0tA) :) 

 

_I told you I was hurt,_

_Bleeding on the inside_

They found him half dead in the forest; snow had turned in a red slush around him. Apparently he had tried to walk back to the base, before collapsing to the ground, weakened by blood loss and cold. They brought him straight to the ship, where Hux waited, impatiently, as the engines heated up and he wondered why he didn’t go out himself, in the raging violence of ice and fire, and sent his troops instead. But he had responsibilities, after all. He couldn’t just _leave_.

_I told you I was lost_

_In the middle of my life_

Eventually Ren was onboard; a bundle of black robes, soaked in crimson. He looked just like an old ragged doll. Hux went to see him, after they took off, and he arrived just as the doctors were stripping the last bits of clothes from him, exposing the wounds. Blood had never been disturbing for the General, but seeing it shining so red on Kylo’s ghost-like skin made him shiver and want to throw up. He looked so fragile. Even the touch of the nurses seemed dangerously clumsy, as if the littlest stroke could make him fall into pieces.

_There’s times I stayed alive for you_

_There’s times I would have died for you_

Hux perfectly knew why he didn’t go himself in search for Kylo: he couldn’t bear the thought of finding him dead in the snow.

_There’s times it didn’t matter at all_

 

 

 

 

**The High Road**

 

 

 

 

Kylo Ren took a deep breath and concentrated on the force that was pushing hard on his consciousness, trying to tear apart the walls he built. The floor of the training room was hard and icy on his knees, but not as cold as the sweat running down his skin, dripping from his hair and burning on the half healed wounds all over his body. The cut on his face was the worst; frowning, with his jaw tightened in the effort, the scar hitched and stretched painfully. He was almost expecting to feel the warm caress of blood on his cheek, flowing from the reopened wound. In front of him, Snoke didn’t show any sign of effort; the supreme leader of the First Order just stared at him, motionless in all but the stretched claws of his mind, pressing on Kylo’s head.

Suddenly, the Knight began to tremble and a burning rage rose in his chest: he couldn’t give up. He would _not_ give up. Snoke’s grasp tightened, opening the first cracks in Kylo’s mind wall, but still he endured, digging his nails deep in the soft palms; pain gave him strength and he desperately tried to fight back. For a few seconds, it seemed like he had taken control. Then, another attack, much stronger and fierce than the previous, crushed on him with all its might; Kylo screamed in the hopeless effort to keep his walls up, but the final blow tore them apart.

Snoke entered like a flood in his mind, devastating whatever he found on his path; Kylo didn’t even realize he had fallen to the ground, until he rolled over and threw up. In his mouth, the nauseating taste of bile mixed up with the saltiness of his sweat. And tears. He couldn’t stop from trembling now. Panting, he turned again to face his master. Snoke said nothing, but the cold disgust in his eyes spoke well enough. Outside the hologram, Ren’s master wasn’t so much taller than him, but he still looked like a giant, towering over his apprentice’s failure.

«The Light» the supreme leader hissed, finally «It’s even stronger in you than before».

Kylo’s heart sank.

«That’s… That’s not true» his voice was harsh, every word a sting of pain in the throat. He felt again the gelid fingers of Snoke closing around him and taking his breath away.

«Who do you try to fool?» him master growled «I saw it. I saw what kind of dreams hunt your sleep!»

He released Ren, who coughed violently, trying to fill his lungs with as much air as he could. Snoke’s words cut him deep, but he had no way to deny.

The supreme leader turned away from him and walked out of the room: «That’s enough for today».

The door slammed behind him.

***

He had lost the sense of time. Not that he cared so much, anyway; all Kylo was interested in was the warm jet of water that ran freely on his naked body, while he sat on the bottom of the shower stall in his quarters. After Snoke sent him away, he had stumbled back there, got rid of the dirty clothes and let the water flow generously and hot. A very irrational part of him hoped that the liquid could wash away not just the sweat, but his nightmares too; he wished they could all run down the pipes, far away underground, and leave him pleasantly numb and empty.

Nothing made sense anymore.

Just when he thought he had found the way, that he would finally be at peace in the Dark Side, the world fell at his feet again. Thinking about it now, he should have understood that it wasn’t so easy to get rid of the Light, instead…

 _It’s even stronger than before_.

Kylo grabbed his head and curled up against the remaining glass wall of the shower. The other one laid in shattered pieces all around him, some had blood stains on them, where the shards had cut his knuckles. He had punched the glass out of rage, but it didn’t help him calm down.

Wasted. That’s how he felt, wasted and powerless. Snoke was right, as he always was: after the battle on the Starkiller, Ren woke up not strong and fierce, the Darkness fully embraced; when Kylo opened his eyes again, he was weak. And shattered like the glass around him. He had dreamed of his family, bittersweet pictures of what felt like another lifetime. Something broke in him, torn apart by what he did on that boardwalk. He knew that was a point of no return, and now that the bridge was finally crossed, he would have done anything to walk back. But there was no way, no matter how much he wanted it.

Kylo hated himself for that; if he couldn’t even fight the Light within himself, how could he hope to pick up his grandfather's legacy? And then again, there was a thought. A tiny voice in his head, whose whispers he found harder and harder to ignore: maybe he didn’t have to, maybe he could run; get away from the First Order, from Snoke, from that darkness poisoning him. The possibility was both tempting and horrible.

The young man sighed. Tempting or not, it was too late.

Eventually he resolved to get out of the shower. He quickly dried himself off and, wrapping a towel around his hips, walked back to the bedroom. It was simple, almost anonymous; there was nothing in it that could give a glimpse of its owner, apart from a shelf full of books, clothes and the lightsaber he had built himself, resting on the nightstand next to the bed. Kylo laid on his back, watching the ceiling without actually seeing it.

No matter how fast or how far away he tried to run from his guilt; he would never be able to hide from it.

There was a knock on the door. Kylo ignored it. A few moments later, he heard it again, a little more insistent. With a deep breath, he started to hum a military march; whoever it was, he was determined not to give a damn about it.

Yet the knock came a third time, so violent it seemed to unhinge the door.

Ren jerked on his feet, grabbed the lightsaber, activated it and marched to the entrance. After all, it wasn’t a bad idea to let off his rage on some unlucky stormtrooper! Certainly it wouldn’t be such a loss for the First Order.

But when he opened the door, he found no anonymous private: the annoying visitor was a tall, pale man, with orderly ginger hair and icy green eyes that stared first at his lightsaber, then at the damp towel around him and finally glanced skeptically at his face. General Hux.

«Ren» he greeted him, coldly «Is it a bad moment?».

A bit embarrassed, Kylo growled: «You’re here. Of course it is».

Yet, suddenly he wasn’t so angry anymore.

Hux grinned: «Tough. May I come in?».

Kylo glared at him, but he stood aside and turned away from the General, leaving the door open.

«At least let me get dressed!»

***

The first thing to catch Hux’s eyes when the door flung open was the reddish glow of the lightsaber; the second one was a low-hanging towel that left little to his imagination. Finally he looked up and saw the scar. Something twisted in his stomach at the sight of the mark on Kylo’s face. He looked like someone else entirely, someone lost.

And fairly pissed off, as Hux could notice by the other man’s glare.

«Ren» he greeted him, careful not to let any emotion slip away «Is it a bad moment?»

«You’re here» Kylo replied, with his usual politeness «Of course it is»

«Tough. May I come in?» Not that Ren had many choices.

Eventually he moved back inside.

«At least let me get dressed!» Hux heard him shout, as he entered and shut the door behind him. Kylo had disappeared in the wardrobe, so the General took the opportunity to have a look around; he noticed straight away the steam still coming from the bathroom and snorted resignedly as soon as he saw the destroyed shower. He would have to send someone to clean later. Hopefully they would come back alive, this time.

Almost three weeks had passed since the destruction of Starkiller Base. Hux and the survivor stormtroopers had come back to the Capital expecting the worst; he thought he’d be at least downgraded, but none of that happened. Snoke didn’t even seem to notice him and, in the end, the General came to the conclusion that the supreme leader had enough issues with his favourite pupil to worry about punishing Hux, who certainly didn’t complain about it.

Yet, in a odd, peculiar way, he had received a punishment: this was the first time he saw Kylo since they got back. For weeks, the last glimpse he had of him was his wounded body being carried away from his ship and that had made him nervous and tense as never before. So, when the message arrived, he immediately volunteered to deliver it himself. He wanted to see him, even for a few moments.

Even if it meant to be looked at as if Kylo was deciding the most painful and swift way to get rid of him forever, as he did now, stomping back in the room.

He wore comfortable black trousers and a shirt of the same colour and, as Hux noticed, he was barefoot.

«So? What do you want?» Ren asked, blunt.

And the General just couldn't resist the temptation to taunt him.

***

He tossed aside the lightsaber and quickly grabbed the first clothes he could reach. Just when he thought his day couldn’t be any messier, _he_ showed up! Kylo couldn’t be bothered to do the laces of his boots, so he just went back to the bedroom, where Hux waited.

«So? What do you want?»

He stared at the General, trying to decide if he was happy or not to see the soldier; when the other grinned again, it became clear to Kylo that he wasn’t happy _at all_.

«Trouble with the shower?»

«Not your business!»

«I’m disappointed; I thought my ship had exclusive rights on your rage outbursts!»

«I’m considering extending them to your face»

«Flattering»

«Get to the point, General»

Hux’s petty smile faded away: «No bucket today?»

His words hit Kylo like a sting: «You’re not worth the effort» he growled.

Suddenly, he was even too aware of the scar on his face; he pictured it, standing out on the skin like a bloody flashlight, and a mixture of anger and embarrassment twisted in his chest.

He cursed himself for not wearing the helmet.

«As you wish,» the General said «I’m here because we received a message from the Zonama Sector: they spotted the Millennium Falcon cruising around there. Apparently it was leaving the Unknown Regions». He paused, maybe waiting for Kylo’s reaction, but the Knight’s expression remained impassive, showing nothing of the burning emotions behind.

«You know what that means?» Hux continued, eventually.

Kylo nodded slowly: «Skywalker might be there somewhere».

«And sadly it’s one of the vastest and most unexplored parts of the Galaxy.»

Ren didn’t like where this was going.

«So, we are at an impasse. Again» the General added.

And it was absolutely clear _whom_ he was blaming for that.

The Kylo’s jaw tightened dangerously: «So that’s it? The great General Hux himself had to deliver this message? Are there no more stormtroopers under your command after what happened to Starkiller, or did you just woke up this morning with a craving for provoking me?».

«If I had sent a stormtrooper, it wouldn’t have walked out in one piece.»

«Who says you are?»  

Hux smiled; he seemed amused: «I’ll push my luck.»

«I suggest you to go» Kylo snarled « _Now._ »

The General gave him one last sharp gaze, before turning his back on him: «You should get some sleep, Ren, you look ghastly.»

But before he could reach the door, Kylo was on him again; he grabbed Hux’s shoulder and forced him to face him. They were just a few centimeters apart.

«You know, that’s how it begins» the Knight hissed, his eyes fixed on the General’s «First, the idle, little tasks, just to keep you think you’re still worth something. Then, in no time, you’re redundant. And the First Order doesn’t need redundancies».

Hux’s face had turned white with anger and his green eyes were ablaze in cold hate; seeing so much fire in the icy General was terribly satisfying for Kylo. It made him want to dig even deeper, till he broke the stern mask of the other man; he wanted to see his passion. He wanted him raging and changing and screaming, not stuck in this inhuman stiffness.

Kylo didn’t get what he desired.

«Have I ever told you I saw Vader once?» Hux said calmly, after a tense silence, surprising Ren «I was only a child, my father brought me to a ceremony in Coruscant and there they were: the Emperor and his loyal servant, Darth Vader. Impressing, I give you that, and you remind me a lot of your grandfather».

The Knight had the suspect that wasn’t a compliment.

«I clearly remember what I thought seeing him: here comes the eternal apprentice, who will never be the master, but forever a dog in the leash of his lord» Hux sniggered «In _this_ , Ren, you truly make his legacy live on!»

Kylo grabbed him by the collar even before he finished the sentence.

«One» he snarled, fighting the urge to close his hands around Hux’s neck and squeeze «Just give me one reason why I shouldn’t kill you now».

The General didn’t flinch, nor gazed away: his eyes were still and tied to Kylo’s in a mute challenge. That lack of fear only increased the Knight’s anger, just as the faint, almost sweet smile that appeared on the ginger’s lips.

Hux leaned even forward, the tips of their noses almost touching: «Because» he whispered «I’m your only friend».

For a moment that felt like centuries, Kylo and Hux stared at each other in silence. The Knight wasn’t quite sure how to react: those words were the last thing he expected from the General. His throat was still dangerously at reach, he could have choked the life out of him without even bothering to use the Force… But eventually, Ren let go.

«Goodnight, General» he hissed, turning away from him. And that was the end of it.

***

_Fire._

_Burning all around him._

_Fire, nothing but fire._

_And steel and flames and flesh turning to ashes._

_Fire, surrounding him. No escape._

_Screams and fire…_

Kylo woke up in the darkness, his heart racing and the hair sticky with sweat. The flames were gone and the room was almost cold. He realized he was trembling.

Night after night, the same nightmare would keep visiting him, each time more vivid than before.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first inspirer and friend Valeria has made us a beautiful drawing of the summary! 
> 
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> 
> We deeply love our evils space boyfriends, so for more sketches and Kylux trash you can visit her tumblr page [here](http://andisteppedaside.tumblr.com/) ;) 


	2. Foul Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Kylo finally decides that he has had enough of the First Order and has a crazy idea to get away from it

 

It’s peculiar how sometimes, even if all the pieces are there, you just can’t grasp the big picture. Things that seemed totally unrelated just moments before, suddenly come together like some sort of illumination and all you can think is, how could I not have seen this coming?

It took Kylo an entire week to get the big picture: the death - the killing of his father, the Light inside him getting stronger, Rey gone in search for his old master and Hux’s words. _Forever a dog on his master’s leash_. The awareness of the truth came all of a sudden, after another night of dreaming of fire and steel, and finally Kylo knew what had to be done. He also knew it was dangerous, more than anything he tried before, and the chances of ending up dead or worst were worryingly strong. Least but not last, he knew he couldn’t do it alone.

So, after a quick breakfast, he dressed up all in black and put the helmet on before leaving his quarters. As he walked down the corridor to the gymnasium, he realized the game was on and to win he had to move carefully each piece on the chessboard.

First of all, he would position his black Knight.

***

The figure standing in the center of the ring was all clothed in black robes that left nothing of her skin to be seen. If that and the mask hiding her face weren’t menacing enough, the staff she was holding did the rest: a long and agile-looking weapon that ended with an apparently anonymous top, but as soon as the figure raised it, the reddish light of a laser sparkled from it, shaping the point of a spear.

The stormtrooper hesitated, aware of the danger in the humming sound that came from the point. They ordered him to assist her during daily exercise and now he understood why he was told to bring his armor; his opponent seemed to have all the intentions to get serious.

He had a spear as well; it could release an electric shock from the top, but compared to the one he had to face, it felt more like a toy than a weapon.

The figure made a few wary steps, moving to the stormtrooper’s left side; she walked with catlike grace, so stealthy and silent it seemed she didn’t even touch the ground. Her opponent raised the spear, ready to defend himself; he suspected she would attack quickly, but he couldn’t possibly imagine _how_ quickly! The lancer sprang forward, fast as lighting, the laser point reaching so close to him that he could feel the heat of it.

He blocked the stroke at the last minute, but she didn’t leave him any time to get hold of himself: the figure kept pressing and turn around him in her deadly dance. First she was at his side, then behind him, retreating and attacking unexpectedly from a totally different direction. The stormtrooper soon began to pant, unable to keep up to the frenzied rhythm of his opponent, and it wasn’t long before the laser spear reached his armor; one, two, three times it touched him, leaving thin blacks burns. The fourth time he understood, stun, that she was just _playing_ with him; she could have already beat him, if she wanted to, instead she just kept dancing, jerking back and forward, from front and rear, until she became a blur, impossible to follow.

The cruel game came to an end, when the soldier felt the bottom of the spear hitting hard his stomach and knocking him to the ground. In no time, the figure was on him, pointing the red glow of her weapon at his throat. He tried to move, but his opponent’s foot pressed on his chest to force him down.

The black lancer leaned over him and hissed, in a harsh and low voice, distorted by the helmet: «You are not worth my time».

She moved away, allowing him to stand up. As he rose to his feet again, he saw the figure turn abruptly and hurl her spear across the gymnasium. The weapon stuck in the wall and there it stood, vibrating violently, just a few inches away from Kylo Ren’s head.

The stormtrooper gasped, surprised. He didn’t even notice that someone had joined them.

The newcomer didn’t seem impressed by the lancer’s gesture: «Nice throw» he commented, vaguely.

«Not at all» she replied «I missed».

Then she turned to the stormtrooper, who was still too shocked to move: «What are you still doing here? Get lost!»

She didn’t have to say it twice. The soldier hurriedly picked up his spear and walked away as fast as he could. As soon as the door was closed, both Knights removed their helmets; under the lancer’s one, appeared a young woman, who glared at Kylo with all the severity her icy eyes were capable of. Her braided hair were red as flames.

«Master Kylo» she greeted.

He smiled, amused: «Jiho Ren».

She didn’t smile back.

«So you’re still alive after all» the woman said.

«Shouldn’t I be?»

Jiho shrugged: «How could I know? Since you began that “special training” with His Ugliness, you disappeared»

«I was busy»

«While your were _busy_ , the Knights have lost their leader» she replied, sharply.

Jiho’s words tasted bitter, especially since Kylo knew they were true: «I thought I left them in the capable hands of my first officer» he replied «They respect you»

«It’s not respect, they _fear_ me! It’s you they follow» she turned her back on him and began to strip off the thick black robes she used to fight; she kept only a simple tank top «You have responsibilities, Kylo» she continued «You are our leader, we look up to you, but lately it feels like you abandoned us!»

She turned again and marched towards him, stopping right in front of Ren with her hands on her hips. Though Jiho scarcely reached the man’s chest, she still looked menacing; it wasn’t only the other Knights who feared the girl’s rage.

«What’s happening, Kylo?» she asked; she almost sounded upset «The others keep asking me questions I can’t answer: when will he be back? Is he okay? And most importantly...» she paused «Why are we still with the First Order?»

«Jiho-»

But she interrupted him: «You said it was only temporary, yet here we are, after six years! And these fuckers keep using us, they keep using _you_!»

«I know what I said» he replied, blunt «And I plan to stick to it»

«But when?!»

«Actually» he said « _Now_ ».

Jiho froze, astonished.

«Or at least soon» Kylo corrected himself.

The girl stared at him, as if she was trying to decide if she could believe him or not.

«Okay, what are you up to?» she asked, still a bit skeptical.

«I can’t tell you, it would be too dangerous if Snoke tries to get inside your head» he said.

«And what about you?»

«I can handle him» he had no other choice «Just contact the others and tell them to be prepared»

But Jiho wasn’t convinced: «You used to trust me, once».

«I do trust you» he assured her «But the less you know, the safer you are».

«As if I ever cared about safety» she said, with an arrogant grin that irritated the Knight.

«You can play with you life all you want» Kylo’s voice turned cold now «But if you care about the others, you will do what I say. I am still your leader, as you so pointedly remarked».

Jiho’s smile quickly faded away, replaced by something close to melancholy: «I do care».

Then, out of the blue, her hand reached out to Kylo’s right cheek and touched the scar. The Knight tensed up; Jiho’s fingers felt like electric shocks on the hypersensitive skin of the healing wound. Was is normal? Weren’t scarred tissues supposed to be less responsive?

«We care» the girl continued «I’d almost say we… _I_ am worried about you».

The tips of her fingers started to follow the mark, from the cheekbone down to the jaw, an unnerving caress that made Kylo’s stomach twist, but he didn’t allow himself to flinch or pull back.

«This _thing_ » Jiho said «The Kylo Ren I remember would have never let anyone do this to him! You’ve changed. Something happened on the Starkiller that you won’t tell me about, but I can _see_ it».

Finally, she withdrew from him; he did his best not to show his relief.

Jiho fixed her eyes on his, serious: «Promise me that your plan will get you back on your feet».

«I don’t have to promise you anything» Kylo replied, his jaw tightened.

The girl nodded, resigned, and without a word she moved past Kylo, out of the gymnasium; she didn’t even look at him, nor muttered a farewell. Jiho only retrieved her spear from the wall where it was still stuck and left him alone with the bitterness of his thoughts.

The first piece on the chessboard was placed.

***

Kylo’s next move would definitely be the hardest one: making the white Queen fall into his trap. To succeed, he had to detract the attention of his strongest enemy, fool him into thinking he was about to checkmate, while Kylo won the game from the shadow.

In the past week, his efforts to resist Snoke’s attacks at his mind didn’t come to great results, but hopefully this time he wouldn’t have to face a direct strike: theoretically, all he needed to do was deflect his master to the right thoughts and hide the real details of his plan. Practically, it was easier said than done.

It was a hazardous gamble the Knight was about to place; even when he eventually found himself in front of the Supreme Leader, he wasn’t sure he would walk out of the throne room on his legs.

Snoke stared at him silently, a skeptical light in his eyes: «An undercover mission?» he asked, eventually.

Kylo nodded under the helmet: «I believe I can locate Skywalker, even without the map».

«You _believe_...»

The Supreme Leader stretched towards him and Ren felt his consciousness being softly scratched, only on the surface for now. He held back a shiver.

«The girl» he explained, trying to keep control on his reactions «She’s with him, I’m sure. If I find her, I find Skywalker».

«And what would you do then?»

Snoke’s claws began to scrape harder. Kylo thought of an armor, a smooth plate of steel where the cuts could glide on and leave the vulnerable flesh of his mind untouched. He built it out of hate and anger, as he had learned to; what Snoke saw was Luke Skywalker, helpless at Kylo’s feet. He felt the Knight’s burning joy of seeing his old master begging for his life and the even greater pleasure when he sank the lightsaber in his chest and watched life slip away from Luke’s eyes, as it did from his father. He could almost smell the stench of burned flesh.

«I’d kill him» Kylo said «I’d tear him apart and rip his heart out with my bare hands».

Snoke seemed pleased: «Good, good...» but not satisfied yet «And the girl?».

Another lash reached Kylo’s armor, but he was prepared and showed the Supreme Leader exactly what he wanted: Rey, in all her innocent beauty, clothed in the black robes of the Knights of Ren. Her eyes were ablaze with a dark fire, her hands closed around the hilt of a red lightsaber.

«I’d train her myself on the ways of the Dark Side» the Knight answered «And she’d be yours».

Kylo went on his knees and bowed: «I beg you, Master, give me this chance to prove you that my commitment to the Darkness is still strong. Let your apprentice show you what fate awaits whoever stands in our way, and I’ll be eternally grateful».

He raised his head and looked straight to Snoke from under the mask; a thick shield of hatred still protected his consciousness, hiding the light underneath with its dark cloak, but he needed it no longer: Kylo clearly felt the Supreme Leader’s pleasure and bloodlust as the icy fingers that had clutched him let go and retreated. Did he win?

Snoke’s twisted smile made him shiver: «I grant permission for your quest, my apprentice».

Kylo didn’t have to mask his joy: «Thank you, Master, I will not let you down!».

He rose and prepared to take his leave, when the other spoke again: «Will the Knights accompany you in this mission?».

Ren’s heart lost a beat, but he collected himself right away: «I planned to go alone, Master».

«You won’t bring anyone with you?» Snoke seemed perplex «A First Order ship, maybe?».

Kylo tried to swallow, but his mouth was dry: «My search will be easier if I stay unnoticed» he explained «The presence of a Star Destroyer might warn Skywalker we’re closing up on him».

And more importantly, he didn’t want to find himself surrounded by stormtroopers when Snoke realized the Knights had betrayed him. The more faraway he was from anything or anyone related to the First Order, the better; he would gladly leave behind all of that poison, apart from…

Suddenly, Kylo had an idea. He immediatly realized how stupid it was, but too late: he had already made his decision to go on with it.

«Actually there is someone I’d like to bring with me, if you allow me» Ren said «He has been a loyal subordinate and I know him to be a clever fighter; if there’s anyone I’d trust to help me in my quest, that’s him».

Snoke nodded, amused: «Take whomever you like, Lord Kylo, and bring me back Skywalker’s heart».

So Kylo took the white Bishop.

***

**Today’s Menu:**

_The Chef’s special fish stew_

_or_

_Shaak ‘n’ cheese sandwich_

_and_

_Namana cream pie_

_For the officers, a glass of the finest Emerald wine_

 

Hux stared disgusted at the list, wondering which one of the tasteless sludges the chef insisted to pass off for food could be the least likely to poison him.

«Err… Sir?» Phasma’s voice reached him «There’s a line forming behind us».

He gazed quickly over his shoulder, took note of the ten people waiting and calmly decided his own health mattered more than them. After all those months he spent on the Starkiller Base, where he had personally taken care of the selection of the kitchen staff, he totally forgot how awful the mess hall might be in the Capital. Hux went back nostalgically to the simple, but tasty meals they used to send to his quarters every time he had to work till late and didn’t allow himself to have a proper dinner with the other officers; all gone now. Even the chef was dead, the poor guy didn’t make it off the planet. At least, Hux knew who to blame for that, as for the rest of his misfortunes: Kylo bloody Ren.

The General sighed: «I’ll have the sandwich, thank you».

«Would you care for some wine, sir?» the dinner droid asked, with an annoyed tone that raised Hux’s disgust to a dangerous level.

«Thanks, but no» he said between his teeth «I’ll have a coffee, if you don’t mind».

On the Starkiller, the staff had always been polite and respectful.

As soon as his tray was full, Hux turned on his heels and walked away without bothering to thank the rude machine; Phasma reached him right after and they managed to find an empty table in the back of the officer’s corner of the mess hall. When they sat down, the General noticed she had taken the sandwich as well, plus the wine, which Hux could totally tell _was not_ the finest Emerald just from the colour. Not even close.

«I suggest you throw _that_ away and go ask for something else» he told the Captain, as she took off her helmet «Unless you want to spend the rest of the day with a horrible taste on your tongue».

Phasma gazed at the greenish liquid in the glass and quickly resolved to follow her superior’s suggestion, pushing it aside.

«So» she asked, biting off a corner of her lunch «Any news for us?»

Hux didn’t answer right away. He was cautiously pricking the sandwich with his fork; he could have sworn he saw it move.

«Nothing at all» he snorted «But one thing is certain: we are never getting funds for a new Starkiller».

He didn’t even have the courage to ask for them, anyhow; they would have just laughed at his face, or worse, kicked him out of the army once and for all.

Again, it would be only Kylo’s fault. That little punk bitch. With his private shuttle and his damn lightsaber and his bloody mask, always getting away with everything just because he was Snoke’s favourite and what did he do to earn that? Nothing, absolutely nothing. He never trained an effective army of stormtroopers, nor successfully invaded an enemy System, nor projected the most powerful weapon in the whole galaxy since the Death Star, he wasn’t even able to retrieve a fucking droid!

«General?»

«What?!»

«You’re mashing that sandwich, sir»

Hux had been so deeply concentrated in his thoughts that he didn’t realized his lunch became a pulp under the pressure of the fork. He snorted and tossed the tray aside, keeping just the repulsive but warm cup of coffee; he wasn’t so hungry anyway.

Since he had last seen him, a week before, Hux tried might and main not to think about Kylo Ren, of the way he had opened the door wearing nothing but a towel, or when he grabbed his collar and they came so close they could have touched… Every time Hux had hopelessly failed.

«I was just reflecting» he said to Phasma «That we’d still have the Base if it wasn’t for Ren».

Maybe it would do him good to open up with the Captain; she’d alway been the officer he trusted the most.

But she didn’t seem to agree with him: «I blame the traitor, and myself even more» she confessed.

Hux snorted: «I’ll have no more of that nonsense, is that clear, Captain?».

«Yes Sir» she obeyed, yet Hux could tell the woman still felt guilty.

Of course she had a good deal of fault, but not as much as Kylo did. At least in the General’s mind.

«He should take responsibility for his actions, from time to time» he continued, sipping his coffee, which turned out to be not so bad after all «We had clear orders to take the droid, instead he brought in a _girl_ ! What was her name again? Never mind. The point is, with a droid you can just dismantle the thing, if it doesn’t cooperate, but this gal didn’t just resist him, oh no, _she beat him completely_ . Using a lightsaber, Phasma, a LIGHTSABER! An untrained, anonymous scavenger from bloody nowhere beat the grandson of Darth Vader, Master - or whatever he calls himself - of the Knights of Ren, who is considered the deadliest fighter in the entire Galaxy! Makes you wonder if we actually have someone valuable on our side, or rather just a big blow-hard… Anyway, if he hadn’t got the girl, her friends wouldn’t have come to save her. And they wouldn’t have placed the explosives and my Base would still be intact. I have worked for years on that project, _years_ , but thanks to his Worshipfulness Ren all my efforts are now stardust. Do you think that’s fair? No, it’s not fair! And the worst part is, my future is now uncertain, my career is uncertain, the career I earned through effort and sacrifice, not thanks to some magic-like abilities which happen to run in my damn family and what... What are you looking at?».

Phasma’s eyes were wide open and fixed to a point over Hux’s shoulder. The General had a bad feeling about it.

He put the mug back on the table, then stared expressionlessly at the Captain before asking, in a resigned tone: «He is right behind me, isn’t he?»

Phasma nodded slowly.

«General Hux» Kylo’s metallic voice creeped from his back «I must speak to you».

The ginger turned to face the newcomer with the most nonchalance he was capable of; Ren was again dressed top to bottom in his black robes, the mask covered his face and the hood was up. Hux noticed his hand was closer to the lightsaber at his belt than he would have liked to.

«That’s my lunch break, in case you didn’t notice» the officer replied, blunt «I’ll meet you in half an hour»

«It’s an urgent matter»

«It would be extremely rude to leave a lady alone at the table» Hux felt the Captain’s glare on him «But I don’t expect you to know that, Ren».

Kylo raised his head to look at Phasma: «Forgive me Captain, but may I sit alone with the General, please? I have to tell him about a most important business, I hope you understand»

«I understand completely, Lord Kylo» she smiled, raising from the table with her tray «See you later General»

And she swiftly walked away. Hux snorted, perfectly knowing she wouldn’t easily forgive him for using her gender as an excuse to avoid Ren.

«Hux, we need to talk» Kylo repeated, sitting on the chair next to him.

«Yes, I quite got that» the General glared «Can’t you just leave me alone? Do you have to spoil every single moment of my life?»

«We haven’t seen in a week»

«You know what I mean»

«I’m leaving»

«That’s the best news you could _ever_ give me, Ren»

«Will you shut up for a second and listen to what I have to say?!» Kylo snapped, punching the table with his fist. He left a visible bulge in the ductile metal.

Hux, who had just made it in time to save his coffee, shrugged: «As you wish, _my Lord_ »

The Knight deliberately decided to ignore the mocking tone in his words: «I’m organizing a mission to find Skywalker» he said «I’ll set out as soon as the ship and the supplies are ready».

«Good luck finding him without the map you lost» the General taunted him.

«I don’t need the map» Kylo was growing irritated «Nor your petty sarcasm»

«Then what do you want?»

«You»

Hux almost dropped the mug: «I beg your pardon?»

«To come with me» the Knight clarified.

The General stared speechless at Kylo, unable to believe what he just heard.

«Why in the Galaxy would I ever want to come with you?» ha managed to said, eventually.

«Listen» Ren begin, closing up to Hux «You say you’re my only friend, well this could be your chance to make use of that to obtain the thing you care about the most»

«And what’s that?»

He was sure Kylo was smiling under the mask, a sharp and dangerous smile: «Why, power of course»

«Very well» the General said, after a long silence «You have my attention»

«Good, because you are wrong Hux» the Knight hissed «I do not intend to be Snoke’s apprentice for the rest of my life! Now, killing Skywalker will make me stronger, powerful enough to get rid of our so-called leader… You come with me, and I promise that when I’ll take command I’ll make you Supreme Commander of the First Order».

Hux stiffened in tension.

«You will control the greatest army in the Galaxy, have access to as many funds as you like. Stick with me and all the Systems will be at your feet» the Knight paused «So, what do you think?».

Kylo’s words hung in the air with their seductive whisper, inviting Hux as the call of a siren; yet, he also knew that kind of singing often lured incautious men to their death. It wasn’t trifles Kylo was talking about, but _treason_. The littlest mistake, the slightest error would mean the ruin of them both. On the other hand, just the thought of the power he’d gain if they succeeded was enough to make Hux’s heart pound violently and his stomach twitching with excitement. The General considered himself an honest man, true to his word and unwilling to use tricks to get what he wanted, but he found himself considering Ren’s offer rather seriously.

«I have to think about it» he muttered, trying to gain time.

«There is no time to think, Hux» Kylo insisted «Are you with me or not?»

«Do you realize what you're asking me?» the General snapped «This could be my death»

«Or your triumph»

«How do I know I can trust you?»

«Why shouldn’t you? Did I ever lie to you?»

«You don’t exactly like me»

«Only as much as you don’t like me, General»

Hux wondered how much that actually was.

«Come on» Ren provoked him «Don’t tell you’re not tempted».

Hux hesitated. He gave a quick look around: the rush hour had passed and the mess hall was almost empty. No one was paying attention to what happened in that isolated table in the officer’s corner, between him and Ren. Even Phasma was nowhere to be seen.

So Hux turned once again to the Knight: «Get the helmet off».

Kylo tensed up: «Why?».

«Because if I have to make this deal, I’ll make it with a man, not a mask» he replied.

For long, eternal moment, Kylo didn’t move. Then, slowly, he raised his hands and removed the respirator, revealing his messy black hair, his eyes so dark and deep. The scar running across his face. Hux was surprised by the uneasiness that mark still caused him, an almost physical pain.

«Are you satisfied now?» the Knight growled, impatient to get his protection back on.

Hux took his time to explore every inch of Kylo’s face, from the high cheekbones to littlest speckle; his eyes got drunk with every detail, leaving him breathless. The General inhaled deeply and said: «I will come with you».

As he spoke, Hux did his best to ignore that insistent voice in the back of his mind, the annoying murmur reminding him that maybe the promise of power wasn’t the only reason why he agreed. A new awareness was slowly coming to the surface but he kept denying it: it was just ambition, nothing but selfishness.

«Very well» Ren said, standing up «I’ll let you know where to find me. We have to travel swiftly, so bring only what you need to survive».

Watching him walk away, Hux wondered: could he still be an honest man, if he lied to himself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> __  
> «Because» he whispered «I’m your only friend».  
>   
> 
>  
> 
> When I saw this drawing and thought back of that scene my reaction was something like: “Now, kiss! For God’s sake, KISS! Why didn’t I make you kiss?!?” Answer: ‘cause I’m waiting for chapter IV… #evillaugh *w*
> 
>  
> 
> For more kylux fanarts visit Valeria's tumblr page [here](http://andisteppedaside.tumblr.com/) :) 


	3. A long way to go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Hux likes to travel with comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist, so the first part is inspired by one of my favorite movies EVER!  
> If you can guess which one, then you're awesome *w*

The last rays of sunset had just disappeared behind the horizon when Kylo finished to check the ship; everything was in place, they were ready to take off. There was only one thing missing: General Hux was nowhere to be seen. However, Kylo wasn’t worried; he knew he would come eventually, how could he not after Ren had made him such an offer?

Kylo was glad he accepted. He wasn’t concerned about the consequences of his lies, _yet_. Of course, it would be kinda of a problem when Hux discovered his real intentions didn’t exactly involve killing Skywalker and putting the General in command of the First Order, but he still had time to figure how to tell him the truth in the most painless way; weeks, maybe even a month or two, depending on how long Jiho and the Knights would be able to cover him. Hopefully, he’d come up with a good solution to deal with the General before it was too late.

His confidence didn’t make it less of a terrible idea, but he still felt it was the right thing to do: he just couldn’t leave Hux behind.

Ren leaned on the side of the ship, searching the darkening landing field for a sign of the ginger officer. The area was old and neglected; it had been the main airstrip of the First Order in its early days, before being replaced by a bigger, more advanced one at the other side of the Capital. Now, the only vehicles parked there were some rusty TIE fighters build before Kylo was even born and his own ship, which, truth to be told, didn’t look much better than the wrecks. It was lean, with long thin wings spreading from the tail, but neither graceful nor elegant; for that, Kylo blame mostly its squat nose and the compressed shape of the cabin, that gave an overall feeling of something bulky and rough. The many scratches and bumps in the hull did the rest, but  despite the appearances the clumsy ship had much to offer, just like another one the Knight used to know well… Kylo stopped himself before he could think more about the Millennium Falcon.

There would come a time when Ren would be forced to face his demons, it was the purpose of the whole journey, but not yet. He didn’t care if he was just delaying the inevitable.

The air was getting colder, so Kylo went to grab something to warm himself. Since they had to travel undercover, he didn’t bring along neither the mask nor his usual robes; he had kept the same trousers and boots, but apart from them he wore just a simple black jacket and a poncho of the same color. Beneath the dark cloth, secured to his belt, he felt the reassuring weight of his lightsaber.

Finally, the yellow light of an headlamp appeared in the distance. Soon, the vehicle was near enough for Ren to discern the shapes of a speeder and the enormous trailer following him. Confused, he approached it; and yet he was sure all the equipment he required was already on board, could it be he forgot something and they were bringing it to him from the warehouse? But when the speeder finally slowed down and stopped, it was a familiar ginger head who stepped out from it.

«Good evening, Ren» Hux said with a grin. It was the first time Kylo had seen him without his uniform, but despite the civilian clothes you could still spot the officer underneath, betrayed by the rigid posture and the sardonic smile he addressed the Knight with.

A couple of droids jumped out from the speeder and approached the trailer, full with a gigantic pile of black containers.

«Careful with those!» the General barked, glaring at them.

Kylo suddenly suspected that wasn’t some equipment he forgot: «Hux, what the hell is all that?»

Hux gave Kylo a puzzled look, glanced at the carrier droids behind him and back to the Ren.

«It’s my luggage» he explained, as if stating the obvious, confirming the Knight’s fears.

«Do you plan to built a new Starkiller with that stuff?!»

The General glared: «Listen, Ren, maybe you are enough of an ascetic to enjoy the simple pleasures of life or whatever, but _I_ like to travel with a certain comfort».

Kylo had a clear idea of where the officer could stick his “comfort”, but he was determined not to start a fight before they even left the ground, so he didn’t comment.

«When are we going to the ship, then?» the ginger asked.

Ren stared at him, incredulous: «The ship?»

«Yes, the ship» Hux insisted «Where is the ship?»

Kylo looked around the landing field, still completely empty apart from the wrecks and the shuttle on which he was leaning just moments before. He pointed it to Hux: « _This_ is the ship».

The General seemed to acknowledge its existence just then and a disgusted expression appeared on his face.

«No, seriously Ren» he said «Where’s our ship?»

«Here! This is it, are you blind or something?!»

Hux’s disgust quickly changed into pure horror. He stared at the vehicle as he would at some crawling, slimy insect.

«You can’t be serious»

Kylo was growing annoyed: «I am»

«What happened to your shuttle?» the General carefully examined the clunky shape of their transport; he thought it looked like it just came back from an asteroid field and someone tried, failing, to mask the damages.

«It’s too recognizable» the Knight explained, in the meanwhile «We need to pass unnoticed».

Hux leaned forward and read the name written on the side of the nose: _Vespera IV_.

«Do I want to know what happened to Vespera I to III?» he asked, caught by a sudden feeling of dread.

Kylo blushed violently: «No, you really don’t».

«Marvellous» the General remarked «Does this thing fly, at least?»

«It did without your matched luggage» Ren answered, gazing disconsolate at the stack of coordinated black boxes and bags the droids were carefully putting together «Not sure about it now».

Hux shrugged: «I’m not leaving anything on the ground».

«I can’t believe it,» Kylo protested, opening a box and grabbing two enormous tomes from it «I said “bring only what you need to survive”».

«That’s my encyclopedia of Imperial Military History, _and I can’t live without it!_ »

He was beginning to regret his decision to involve the General.

«Okay, let's make this clear » Kylo growled, trying to keep his cool «It's either you or the luggage!»

Hux glared: «You wouldn’t dare»

«Wanna bet?»

They stared at each other in mutual challenge; the droids just gazed at them awkwardly, wondering what they should do with the containers they already unloaded off the trailer.

«Very well» Kylo said between his teeth «You can bring a quarter of it»

«Half» Hux replied, menacing.

«The weight is too much»

«Then we'll be slower»

«You spoiled son of a-»

«Now that is _really_ mature, Ren, and here I thought I was traveling with an adult»

«I _am_ an adult!»

«Half, no less»

«You wish!»

«I can still go back and tell Snoke everything»

«...»

«Deal?»

Kylo gave him one last loathing look before saying: «Deal»

As they shook hands rigidly the Knight muttered: «I hate you»

Hux grinned: «I know. I hate you too».

It wasn’t long before the engines of Vespera IV rumbled loud as they flew in the clear night sky, towards the stars.

Hux was trying to convince himself the departure wasn’t a point of no return, but he couldn’t help feeling a certain grip in his chest. He just left the Capital with a man he thought he despised, in a mission to kill the last of the Jedi, and when they’d be back they would take command of the First Order, hopefully without spilling too much blood. Snoke and his closer circle would die, of course, but everyone else might just passively accept the swap of power. Until then, Hux told himself he needed only to find the strength to tolerate Ren for as long as he had to.

He drew a bag of tobacco from the pocket of his coat and started to roll up a cigarette, gazing vaguely at the Knight, who was making the last calculations for the jump to the hyperspeed - ‘cause the bloody jalopy was so decrepit it didn’t even have an automatic system for that. Kylo had tied his hair into a messy bun, but many curls slipped away from it, creating soft curves around his face. He looked so concentrated. And stunning. Hux shook that last thought away; it wasn’t the first time it hit him since he decided to follow Ren into his journey and it was beginning to be kinda annoying.

“What the fuck are you doing, Hux?” he wondered “How did you end up alone on a spaceship with _him?_ ”

He answered he was there only for the reward. Nothing else. Certainly not for Kylo.

The General lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply, tilting his head back; the smoke burned as it made its way down his throat, filling up his lungs and escaping his lips just moments later in a slow, thick cloud. Every muscle in his body relaxed. That would be enough to clear his mind from any queer thoughts for a while.

«I’m ready to jump,» Kylo said, standing up from the pilot seat and walking towards him «We’ll be off for the Unknown Regions as soon as we get the consent from the watchtower»

He noticed the cigarette and grunted: «You want a pair of bionic lungs soon?»

«And what if?» Hux replied, annoyed.

«That thing will kill you»

The General laughed: «Breaking news Ren, _life_ is the first cause of death in the Galaxy, much more than smoking»

«Hilarious» Kylo said, sarcastic.

«Since when do you care about my health, anyhow?»

Kylo didn’t get the chance to answer: a metallic voice creeped from the radio, giving them clearance for the jump to hyperspeed. He rushed back to console, tied up his seatbelt and begin to fumble about the many switches and levers of the ship; Hux kept smoking, ignoring him completely until the Knight’s voice reached him again.

«I need a copilot»

The General turned to look at him: «What?»

Kylo was peeking at him from his seat: «A copilot» he repeated, sounding almost embarrassed «Do you know how to drive a spaceship?»

«Of course I do» Hux replied, blunt.

He hurriedly extinguished the cigarette and took his seat next to Ren; out of the window, a sea of stars opened before them, black and vast. Suddenly, the General felt the awareness of the future falling upon him with all its weight: as soon as they jumped, there would be no turning back; it would be just the two of them against the whole Galaxy, with equal chances of winning and failing. Anything could go wrong.

Hux’s heartbeat quickened; did he make the right choice, trusting the Knight? Would he make it out of that journey alive? And even if, what would happen after that? Ruling the Galaxy side by side with Kylo?

He gazed at him furtively. He was getting used to the sight of the scar, though the feeling of uneasiness still remained, but now he could see past it and concentrate on Kylo’s eyes, blacker and scarier depths than the outer space, where Hux feared he could lose himself.

Surprised, he realized he was willing to take this risk and follow him till the end of the Universe, if it was necessary.

The stars outside turned to bright strips of fire as the Vespera reached the speed of light.

***

Jiho bathed in the blood red light of sunset that flamed outside her window. She wasn’t calm. Somewhere out there, Kylo was giving the first kick to his plan, the plan he barely mentioned her, regardless her being his first officer and confidant; he expected her to follow blindly, without questioning. And she hated that.

The woman snorted and closed the heavy black curtains behind her. Darkness fell inside the room.

All those secrets Kylo kept from her and the Knights made Jiho feel uncomfortably out of control. The last time she had felt this way was when they were still training under Luke Skywalker, almost eight years before, and it led her to betray her master to follow a new one. Now, the man she admired and gave up everything for was changing into a copy of the one she loathed and abandoned. Jiho only hoped this plan would change things once and for all; she was tired of the First Order, of Snoke using them to his purposes, and she didn’t care if they’d never find a greater master of the Dark Side than the Supreme Leader: those imperial nostalgics brought them nothing but poison, especially for Kylo.

She sat down on the floor of her quarters, crossing her legs.

That night they would make their move. If the Force was with them, they would leave the First Order behind forever and regain their lost freedom.

Jiho took a deep breath and closed her eyes while she concentrated; the Force flowed through her like a burning river of fire. She let her consciousness spread out in bright streams, it flew far away from her room, out of the window and across the stars, searching for something. Or, actually, some _one_.

One by one, she reached them all.

There were five of them, waiting for Jiho to speak the news.

«Something is moving» she whispered to the shadows of the Knights «We are about to go rogue».

«Where’s Kylo?» the ghosts asked her.

«Gone» Jiho answered «I have instructions from him».

«Tell us and we’ll obey»

«We have to go, one by one» she explained to the spectral chorus «Make sure they don’t suspect anything at first, then head for the closest refuge to you. There you shall wait, until Kylo comes to get you».

«Where has the Master gone?» someone inquired again.

Jiho replied, bitterly: «I don’t know»

«Is he alone?»

«I don’t know»

The shadows fell silent. Jiho could feel their sadness and disappointment, the same that haunted her whenever she thought about Kylo; their guiding star was fading away, but if they’d lost their faith in him, what remained then? The woman was no leader, she didn’t have the power to inspire the Knights that Kylo had; she couldn’t take his place.

«Be strong» Jiho told the Knights, speaking also to herself «Kylo has never let us down, he won’t do it this time».

«You still trust him?» the voices asked.

«Of course I do» she replied, sharply «And so should you».

Jiho didn’t believe in any kind of God; the Force was her only religion, but she found herself hoping for some deity to hear her prayers, if anything like that existed.

“Please Kylo, please” she thought when the Knights finally left her alone “Don’t do anything stupid”.

***

«Now that we are completely alone» the General started off, after dinner «Can we talk about the plan?»

Kylo almost choked on his drink: «The plan?»

«Yes, of course!» he insisted «I have a concern: it’s strange the Supreme Leader would have send you to kill Skywalker, if he knows it will make you stronger... Doesn’t he think you could come back and take his place?»

Shit. Shit shit _shit_. Kylo was hoping to delay that conversation for as long as he could, possibly forever, but he should have expected the General to bring it up so early in their journey. All he could do was misleading him and let him think everything was under control.

«Snoke is too sure of himself and he trusts me; I don’t think he considered that and we need to make sure to keep it this way until our return» he lied, nervously.

Hux nodded: «I agree, we’ll have all the time to reveal ourselves when we get back»

«Yeah, exactly»

«It’s good we can still count on the Order»

«Err, totally»

«Because I ran some calculations» Hux leaned beneath the table and re-emerged with a heavy pile of scribbled paper that gave Kylo the chills «With our current provisions we can last little more than one month on our own, after which we’ll need to stop at one of the First Order outposts to refill…»

«But we’re undercover» the other tried to protest «We shouldn’t have contacts with-»

«One visit will do no harm!» the ginger dismissed him «Sure, if we can find Skywalker within the month, there will be no need for that» Hux turned away from his notes and shoot a skeptical glance at Kylo «Speaking of which, _how_ exactly are we going to find him?»

Kylo would have gladly answered him, if he only had an answer to give. Damn the General and his bloody perspicacity! Walking on thin ice, all Ren could do was telling Hux about the only ridiculous scrap of plan he had to spot the Jedi.

«Using the Force» he muttered «I won’t search for him, actually, but for Rey»

Hux looked puzzled: «Who?»

«The girl» Kylo explained «The one from Jakku»

«Oh, the one who beat you up»

Ren tightened his jaw, feeling the anger rising in his chest: «Yes. That one».

«And you think they are together»

«I’m sure of it»

«How?»

«Thanks to the Force»

«Is that how the Force works?» the General asked, skeptical.

« _Yes it is!_ » Kylo squeezed his glass so hard it shattered into sharp pieces, that cut deep into his palm.

«Shit!» he cried, pulling back the wounded hand.

Hux leaned towards him: «Let me see»

«I don’t need you help» Kylo snarled.

The General rolled his eyes: «Stop being such a child and let me see!»

Reluctantly and with a loud snort, he put his hand in Hux’s; the officer carefully examined the injury and went to retrieve the first aid kit.

«It’s not serious» he explained when he got back, searching inside the box for some disinfectant and bandages «But it will be painful. Luckily the victim of your rage was the left hand».

Kylo ignored the taunt.

«So the Force» Hux continued, trying to distract the other while pulling the shards out of the palm «It sort of connects everything like a net, right? That’s how you hope to find her, following the wires».

Ren nodded, impressed; he had no idea the General knew… well, anything at all about the Force.

The ginger sprayed the disinfectant on the wound and a sharp sting of pain run up Kylo’s arm, then he grabbed the bandages to wrap the injury. Hux didn’t bother to be delicate, but he wasn’t even harsh; surprisingly, the Knight discovered the other’s touch on his hand almost felt… _good_. The officer’s fingers ran expertly around his own, leaving thin trails of fire where their skin made contact; Kylo stared at his movements, hypnotized by them, but the General just seldomly gazed back to him.

«Where are we going, then?» the officer asked, as he made sure the bandages wouldn’t get loose.

The question shook the Knight away from his trance: «Precisely?»

«Uh-uh»

«I don’t know yet» Kylo admitted, sincerely «First we reach the Unknown Regions; there I’ll try to make contact with Rey»

«The wire stuff?»

Ren nodded:«Sort of, and if I get the right feeling about a certain direction-»

«Wait a minute» Hux interrupted him «We are going to let your _feelings_ guide us through space?»

«… Yes»

The General snorted: «Terrific»

«I’m sorry, have you got a better idea?»

«Oh, I don’t know, maybe a _map_ would come in handy!»

 _That’s it_.

Kylo raised abruptly and stomped away from Hux.

«Where the fuck are you going?» the General called him, annoyed.

«I’m having a walk!» the Knight snarled back.

«Yeah, good idea, go have a tantrum somewhere, ‘cause that’s the way to deal with things. Just make sure you don’t tear anything vital apart, you know, I actually like living!»

«Leave me alone, Hux!» he shouted, opening the door to the corridor.

As it shut behind Kylo’s back, he heard the officer one last time: «You’re welcome for the treatment, _asshole_!»

When the ginger was finally alone, he sank in the chair with a frustrated snort: «Jerk».

***

Kylo made his way to the hold in hurried, heavy steps.

«Damn Hux» he mumbled, gnashing his teeth.

Damn the General and his taunts, damn him and his arrogance, damn his plans of glory and his plots and his pretentious green eyes and the touch of his finger, whose memory was enough to make Kylo feel dizzy.

Why? _Why_ in the Galaxy did he ask him to come along? Everything would be so much easier now, he wouldn’t have to lie constantly or to listen to Hux’s is-that-how-the-Force-works speeches.

The doors to the cargo hold slid open and Kylo bursted inside; in the dim light, the enormous amount of Hux’s luggage towered over everything else like a giant.

Damn His Great Excellence's matched luggage too!

Imagining it was the General himself, Kylo grabbed one of the boxes using the Force and with a cry of frustration he flung it across the room. It hit the opposite wall in a loud, satisfying crash.

«That was for the “asshole”, asshole!» the Knight growled to the wrecked container.

But before he could destroy anything else, Ren noticed something in the corner of his eye. Puzzled, he came closer to box he just threw; it look like some liquid was dripping from it, sipping out through the corners… Kylo squinted, trying to discern what was it in the dusky room. A shiver ran down his spine as he jerked back, in horror: a spooky red puddle was slowly spreading around the box, staining the pavement of something that looked a little too much like blood.

Kylo’s eye widened in terror: «What the..?»

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another splendid piece of work from my partner in crime Valeria <3 How do you do that, gurl, I'm gelous!
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> Check her [tumblr page](http://andisteppedaside.tumblr.com/) for more :) 


	4. In vino veritas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where we discover the content of the box and also that Kylo is light-weighted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terribly sorry, I know I'm late, but I wanted to take extra care of this chapter; I hope the result will be enough to forgive me <3  
> The title comes from a latin saying and it can be translated as "The truth lies in wine"

 

Hux’s feet tapped agitated on the floor of the ship. The General was staring at Kylo with all the disgust he was capable of, while he held in his hand the sad remains of what used to be a glass bottle. Some reddish liquid still dripped from it.

«Twenty-five bottles of my favourite red from the Pairya System» the ginger growled «Possibly one of the finest, most expensive wines in the whole bloody Galaxy… And you managed to destroy them all!»

Kylo sat on the couch with his arms crossed, a guilty expression on his face - even if he was relieved to know it was alcohol he murdered and not some unlucky life form.

«You should thank me, I saved a lot of trouble to your liver» he pathetically tried to defend himself.

«I don’t give a fuck about my liver!» Hux shouted in reply, smashing what was left of the bottle on the ground. He snorted loudly and massaged his temples, in the hope it would help him to calm down and therefore not give in to the temptation of throwing Kylo in the outer space.

«Okay, it’s simple» the General mumbled «As soon as we drop the hyperdrive, we’ll just search for the nearest water hole and buy some alcohol».

«No way!» Kylo said, bursting on his feet «We are on a mission, we can’t afford to lose time running after your comforts».

«Do I have to remind you that, if it wasn’t for your childish tantrums, I wouldn’t need to “lose time running after my comforts”?» Hux replied, sharply.

«Wine is the only way I’m getting to the bottom of this journey without killing you» he then continued, since Ren wasn’t able to come up with any clever reply.

The Knight shrugged: «Whatever! Just don’t be too fussy if we don’t find what you want» he surrendered.

Hux glared: «That, Ren, would be entirely your fault».

***

The place they found was even worse than Hux could possibly imagine: a dark, smoky dive that smelled of cheap alcohol and others even less flattering scents, clinging on a mass of rock that looked more like an asteroid than a planet. In the dim light, the two travellers could barely discern the form of a counter, some tables and the ugly mugs seated around them; they exchanged a knowing gaze of discomfort before crossing the threshold and immerged themselves in the heavy air.

«This is an awful idea» Kylo whispered, nervous «Someone might recognize us»

«How? You usually wear a mask and I don’t exactly hang around with this kind of… folks» Hux replied.

«You look too military»

«You’re wearing all black, for fuck’s sake! Who do you think is the suspicious one?»

They passed through the room without troubles, collecting only a couple of curious looks from the other clients of the inn. Kylo noticed a wide range of races, from Ithorians to Biths to Twi’Leks and even a group of Devaronians; his heart lost a beat when he spotted a big Wookie in a far corner, but he quickly realized it was too young to be Chewbacca. Anyway, he eagerly moved past it and catched up with Hux at the counter, where he was already talking to the barman.

Kylo arrived just in time to hear the General say: «Let’s look at your stuff, then».

The officer turned back to him: «I’m going with this gentleman to the cellar, could you do me the favour of staying here and not doing anything stupid before I get back?».

«Just be quick about it» Ren replied, annoyed.

Hux shoot him one last look of warning before following the owner, a skinny Mon Calamari, in the back of the bar.

With a snort, Kylo sat at the counter, mentally cursing the General and himself; if he had just thought for a moment, instead of rushing to him in the mess hall of the Capital, now he would have been happily on his own, maybe even close to find Luke, and not in some stinky dump searching for wine!

… But then Hux would have still been with the First Order; still an enemy to fight, whatever Kylo wanted it or not. If he had left him behind, he’d might have had to kill him, one day.

He sighed, resigned. No matter how much Hux annoyed him and no matter his spoiled-princess attitude, or his taunts: Kylo was happy to have him at his side and he couldn’t lie to himself about that, at least not for long. He tried to fight back the treacherous smile that had appeared on his face.

A human waitress approached him, apparently unconcerned by the dangerous glance Kylo gave her.

«What can I get you, sweetie?» she asked, with a sticky smirk which was probably intended to be seductive, but only managed to disgust the Knight.

«I don’t drink» he replied.

But she didn’t give up: «Oh, come on! A total hunk like you should be used to a good drink».

“Total… _What?!_ ” Kylo thought, concerned.

The girl grabbed a bottle from the shelf behind her and filled a shot glass to the edge with a suspicious green liquid: «This is on the house, honey» she purred, pushing the glass towards Kylo.

He looked at it inquiringly - was that thing _smoking_? - and carefully picked it up; apart from a sip of Corellian brandy he had stolen from his father’s reserve, ages ago, Ren had never actually drunk in his whole life. Mostly because Luke had never let alcohol too close to his students while he trained them, saying it wasn’t good for Force sensitives; but Kylo knew Jiho drank and so did a couple of the other Knights… So what harm could a tiny, innocent glass ever do?

Ren drank the liquor to the drop in just one, long sip.

***

«Five hundred?!» Hux screeched, indignantly «You’re dreaming»

«Do you have any idea of how expensive is to import wine in this sector of the Galaxy? I’m giving you the preferential treatment!» the Mon Calamari innkeeper replied.

«Five hundred credits a bottle is _not_ the preferential treatment» the officer growled «Blood-sucking, that’s what it is!»

«Fine, if you don’t like my prices, you can buy your wine somewhere else, but I warn you: you won’t find anyone who deals this kind of stuff around here but me»

Hux immediately wrote down the innkeeper’s name on his black list: «Alright» he snarled «I’ll give you fifteen hundred credits for four bottles of red and two of that whiskey you were talking about».

«No deal» the other said «Twenty at least».

«Sixteen» Hux imagined all the possible tortures he could try on the Mon Calamari once the mission was over and he could come back to get his revenge. First of all, he would boil him in the motor oil of the Finalizer.

«Nineteen»

«Seventeen» Then he would tear slowly apart whatever was left.

«Eighteen!»

And if he was still alive, well, the General would let him have a nice Force-chat with Kylo: «Seventeen and fifty».

When the Mon Calamari hesitated, Hux knew he won.

He offered the innkeeper his hand with a satisfied grin: «Have we got a deal?».

The other snorted, but he took the hand: «Deal. I’ll call my boys to get the stuff on your ship».

«Splendid»

Everything had gone smoothly, far more than he initially hoped for, and he had spent less than an hour in that horrible place. Hux was definitely happy. All he had to do now was load his new supplies and take off, a matter of what? Fifteen minutes? Twenty at most. What could possibly go wrong in twenty minutes?

«Master!» a sudden cry came from the stairs, destined to crush with no mercy the officer’s hopes. An assistant stormed into the cellar, his face sweaty and pale.

«What is it, Qeh?» the Mon Calamari asked him, alarmed.

«He - he’s tearing the place apart, master» he babbled, trembling «No one can stop him».

A shiver run down Hux spine.

“Oh no” he thought, starting to panic “Oh please, no, not _him_ ”.

He rushed up the stairs, pushing aside the innkeeper and his assistant; all the way up, he tried to tell himself that he had nothing to fear, that his premonition couldn’t possibly be true, but as soon as he reached to top he was forced to face the reality and the reality came in the form of a bundle of bodies, tangled together in a mess of kicks, punches, flying furniture and broken bottles, and right in the middle of the scuffle there was no one else but _him_ : Kylo.

The Master of the Knights of Ren himself was fighting his way through the clients of the pub with punches and slaps - Hux only thanked the Heavens he didn’t had the idea of using his lightsaber - screaming and laughing while he faced four adversaries at the time. He seemed to be quite enjoying himself, the exact opposite of the General.

«My inn!» the Mon Calamari cried, when he saw the battlefield his bar had been turned into «What’s happening here?»

Hux barely heard the assistant answer in a whimper: «The guy with the scar on his face started the fight».

The innkeeper turned to face Hux: «Wasn’t he with you?».

The General began to sweat: «Err, no he wasn’t».

«Yes he was!» the other replied, angrily.

«I think you are mistaking.»

«I think I found who’s gonna pay for the damages!»

But before he could say anything else, a tangle of black clothes fell on the innkeeper and his assistant, knocking them both to the ground. It was no less than Kylo Ren.

« _You_ » Hux hissed, his face white with anger.

«Hux, right on time!» the Knight mumbled as he tried to get back on his feet «Bewee and I need your help to kick their asses - _hic!_ »

«Who the fuck is Bewee?» the officer asked, vaguely, while he made sure the Mon Calamari wasn’t able to demand the damages anymore.

Kylo smiled and pointed at an enormous Wookie still in the middle of the fight; he held a chair with both hands and was swinging it around as a club, roaring and smashing every unfortunate being who came too close.

« _That_ is Bewee» he explained, with a certain drunk pride «He’s my new best friend - _hic!_ ».

«And he helped you to start this mess?!»

«They insulted Grandpa!» Kylo replied and almost fell again.

Hux managed to grab him before he could slam on the ground; the fight kept on around them and the innkeeper was still motionless on the floor, but the officer decided not to take any risks. So he lifted Kylo onto his shoulder and sneak off the pub before anyone could notice.

«Hey, what about Bewee - _hic?_ » the other tried to protest.

«I’ll tell him where to find us» Hux lied, opening the door with a kick.

«Ouch!» the entrance had turned on his hinges, slamming hard on Kylo’s head. The General couldn’t help it and grinned, satisfied that at least destiny was avenging him.

They walked away in the clear atmosphere of the night.

***

Hux never knew by what strange miracle he managed to reach the Vespera and not dump Kylo in a ditch beside the road. Ren was completely wasted. He alternated low mutters about his grandfather to sudden bursts of laugh; from time to time, he asked the General when would Bewee reached them on the ship and if Hux was sure he’d given the Wookie the right directions, because Kylo still couldn't spot his new buddy following them. Of course he’d given him the right directions, Hux growled in reply; Ren didn’t have to worry about Bewee, he was a big Wookie, he’d be alright. Kylo was so happy to hear it that he stated to joyfully sing an old Imperial March - grandpa’s favourite, as he quickly informed the officer.

Eventually, the doors of the Vespera locked behind them. Hux dropped Kylo, who was still singing, on the first chair he could find and ran to the pilot seat to prepare for their departure. The take off was easy enough and soon they left the surface of the planet behind and pointed the nose of the ship to the stars once again. Hux could finally relax. He was about to make the jump to the hyperspeed, when he realized it was probably better to look after the human disaster first.

He came back to find Kylo staring at his functioning lightsaber, apparently hypnotized by its crimson glow.

«It’s soooooooooooo red...» he mumbled, examining the blade.

With extreme care, the officer retrieved the weapon from his hands, deactivated it and set it aside: «Err, of course it is».

«Grandfather would have liked it - _hic!_ »

«Sure he would»

«Do you think I’m drunk?» Kylo wondered, candidly.

Hux just couldn’t bare it: «How much and what exactly did you drink?»

Ren thought about it: «… I dunno. Maybe» and he mimicked a small glass with his fingers «Two of this? Of something green?»

«Green?» Hux inquired, an idea already forming in his head «Did it taste of anise?»

«I think so, yeah - _hic!_ » Kylo nodded, confirming the officer’s intuition.

«Two shots of Absentium reduced you to this?!» Hux said, perplex «You sure you didn’t drink the whole bottle?»

«I am - _hic!_ » Kylo insisted «Where’s Bewee?»

The officer snorted: «Damn it, you sure are light-weighted! Bewee is coming, but now you need to go to bed»

«Okay» Ren stood up, a bit out of balance; he gave a long look around the room, before turning to Hux with a lost expression on his face «Where do I sleep?»

Hux rolled his eyes, exasperated: «I can’t believe it!».

He grabbed Kylo’s arm and dragged him along the corridor, wondering when did it happened that he went from competent army officer to babysitter!

They soon reached the Knight’s room; Hux opened the doors and stormed inside, his grip on Kylo’s arm still solid. The cabin was old and messy, just as the rest of their ship, and apart from Ren’s few luggage it contained only a big, square bed; Hux pushed the other towards it.

«Here you go, goodnight!» he tried to leave, but Kylo held him back.

He was smirking, that queer, amused grin caused by the same alcohol that made his eyes shine. It was odd enough to see him smile when he was sober, but a drunk Ren was almost disturbing.

«You know, people like me» Kylo mumbled, leaning closer to Hux as if he wanted to tell him about an important secret «We shouldn't drink, because it interferes with the Schwartz- I mean, the _Force_ ».

«That’s terrible» the officer agreed, starting to feel a bit uncomfortable.

He tried to move Kylo’s hand away from his arm: «I really have to go now».

«No, wait!»

Hux hesitated, surprised by the other’s urgent tone. Kylo was staring at him with a incomprehensible expression, like he was reflecting over some intricate problem he couldn’t find an answer for. He was still touching Hux’s arm, but his grip was gentle, not firm.

The officer suddenly realized their eyes were fixed in each other’s, just as they were not much more than a week before, when he went to Kylo’s room for… What did he went there for? Now by now he couldn’t remember.

«You know - _hic!_ » Ren began, uncertainly «I’m happy you’re here».

«Yeah? I’m not sure I am» Hux mumbled, trying to find a refuge in sarcasm, but that only made Kylo laugh. He had never heard him laugh before, not like this, and he found himself thinking it was really a beautiful sound.

“What the hell, Hux, get a hold of yourself!”

«It’s just...» Kylo paused and stared at the officer again.

They were close, damn it, too bloody close, but the General couldn’t bring himself to pull back.

«Since I’m totally drunk» Ren laughed for the second time «I think I might be brave enough to try something, but I need you to stay still for a moment».

Before Hux could even think of an answer, Kylo moved his face closer to his, the tips of their noses almost touching. The officer stared at him, breathless and also a bit scared by the other’s intense look.

«What the-» he opened his mouth to ask, but he couldn’t finish the sentence, because Kylo had already voided the distance between them and silenced Hux with a clumsy, yet intense kiss.

For a long moment, the whole Galaxy stopped. All the General could feel was his heart, pounding violently in his chest, and the touch of Kylo’s mouth on his, so warm, so damn _good_. He couldn’t even remember how to breathe. Then Ren pulled back and Hux could look at his face again; he studied every single corner of it, every detail, he followed the scar up and down and his gaze fell on Ren’s eyes, those black, sad, _beautiful_ eyes.

He couldn’t resist anymore. He grabbed Kylo’s nape, immerging his fingers in his black locks, and drew the Knight towards him again, kissing him with burning desire. And Kylo kissed him back.

“That’s a terrible idea” said a voice in the back of his mind, but Hux buried it deep, under the passion rising inside him and flowing in every part of his body as an electric shock. All he wanted to feel was Kylo and their bodies pressing against each other. When did his trousers became so tight?

He moved away from his mouth and started kissing Kylo’s neck; Ren’s moans of pleasure only made him want to go further down. Hux found the zip of the black jacket and pulled it open, his hands shaking with excitement.

“That’s a terrible, _terrible_ idea”

Other pieces of clothes quickly followed the first one to the ground, until only the thin layer of the underwear separated them. Kylo’s skin was warm and soft against his and - oh, it felt so good it made his head spin, but Hux wanted even more. He wanted to caress every inch of him, kiss every speckle, possess every corner; he wanted _him_ , all of him and nothing else but him.

He pushed Kylo on the bed and blocked his arms above the head, trapping the Knight in his grip; Ren smiled and moaned softly when Hux started rubbing their pelves together.

“I could still stop”

Not a chance! How could he stop, when it was the most burning, intense thing he had ever felt? He had Kylo’s scent in his nose, inebriating him, and the taste of him filled Hux’s mouth; his whole body was thirsty and only Ren could satisfy it.

His hand reached down, gently skimming over Kylo’s boxers; Hux felt him tremble in anticipation, but he wasn’t in a hurry. He had all the intentions to savor each moment, to wait until Ren wanted him so much that he would have begged him. His heart raced so fast he was sure it was about to explode…

«That can’t happen»

Hux froze. That wasn’t the voice of his conscience.

He stared at Kylo, panting: «What?»

«Your heart» he explained, still smiling «It can’t explode»

The General was puzzled: «… I know it can’t physically do it but- wait, you were reading my mind _now_?!»

Ren laughed: «I mean it can’t because you don’t have one, everyone knows it - _hic!_ »

Something cracked inside Hux. He suddenly realized what he was doing and with _whom_ he was doing it; it was like being abruptly awaken from a dream and thrown back into reality.

The General pulled back from Kylo: «I need to go to the bathroom» he muttered, still shaken.

«Why?» the other laughed «I’m not getting pregnant, you know!»

«Yes, I know»

He locked himself in the small toilet of the cabin. When he was finally alone, Hux let himself sink on the floor, his back leaning against the door. The heart he wasn't supposed to have still drummed in his hears. Hux couldn't understand. Why did it bother him so much? He was a military officer, he had built the Starkiller and used it to wipe out an entire system, billions of lives without hesitation: he _was_ heartless and glad to be. But hearing it from Kylo…

He tilted his head back and snorted in frustration. If he truly was heartless, then what was it that hurt so much?

When he finally got out of the bathroom, Hux found Kylo deeply asleep on the bed. The General collected his clothes and was about to leave, but he stopped with his hand already placed on the opening button of the entrance. He looked back to Ren: he seemed so peaceful now. And lonely. With a grunt, Hux grabbed a blanket and clumsily draped it over Kylo; he wanted to go, flee that room as quickly as possible, yet he couldn't help running his hand through the Knight’s hair one last time. Hux's fingers slipped down, caressing his cheekbone as well.

He couldn't bear that bittersweet taste any longer. He turned his back and ran away, from Kylo and from that heart of his, beating and burning under the icy armor he had built around it for his whole life, an armor which was slowly, _inevitably_ crumbling down.

***

_The fire comes again roaring._

_Kylo is there, surrounded, and he's burning. And he's screaming. And no-one’s coming._

Ren woke up with the greatest headache he had ever had. When he tried to get up, every joint of his body protested; he felt rigid as a piece of ice, each movement taking an awful lot of effort. The world spinned as he finally sat up on the bed and his stomach twisted, nauseated.

«Bloody hell» he mumbled, massaging his temples. It was like having a nest of bees buzzing inside his brain and his shoulders ached as if an herd of Banthas had danced a rumba on them.

Dazzled, he managed to get on his feet, grab a pair of trousers abandoned on the floor - were those the same he had last night? He couldn’t remember -  and drag himself out of the room, heading to the kitchen. When he opened the door, Kylo found the General already seated at the table; the ginger was breaking his fast while reading a book and he didn’t notice Ren at first.

«Please, tell me we’ve got painkillers» Kylo muttered to get his attention.

Hux flinched at the sound of his voice, almost dropping his coffee on the fifth volume of the Encyclopedia of Imperial Military History. He stared at Ren as he would at a ghost.

«Why?» he inquired, agitated «Is it your…?»

«Head» Kylo explained, confused by the officer’s strange behavior «And some other parts»

«Oh» Hux nodded and pointed at a shelf on his right «Take the green ones, but eat something first».

As he reached for the pills and a piece of fruit, the Knight kept glancing at Hux: he looked inexplicably nervous, embarrassed almost, but Kylo had no idea of what could have cause it. Then a suspicion arose.

«What happened last night?»

For just a fraction of second, he was sure Hux had turned paler, but maybe it was only an impression.

«What do you mean?» the General asked, coldly «Don’t you remember?»

Kylo thought about it: «I think I remember a Wookie»

«That’s all?»

«And the road back to the ship» he admitted «After that, nothing».

Something passed on the ginger’s eyes, a shadow Kylo couldn’t quite catch, because it faded away as quickly as it arrived, but reminded him of sadness.

«Did I do something stupid?» he dared to ask.

«Of course you did!» the other growled, getting back to his book «You alway do».

And he didn’t look at him again for the rest of the breakfast. Kylo could have easily infiltrated into the General’s mind and discovered what he had meant by that, it wasn’t hard, yet he decided not to: he felt already wasted enough to watch his latest mess in Hux's memories.

Slowly, the green pills started to work. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo... The thing happened. Sadly only our General will remember it. And finally the Schwartz appeared!
> 
> On the side notes: I'm aware Absentium it's likely not to exist in the Star Wars universe, but as a big fan of the movie "Moulin Rouge" I tend to put the green fairy in many of my stories. Also I got quite attached to Bewee, who came in almost by accident, and I'm currently asking myself if I shouldn't bring him back; what do you think?
> 
> Finally, Valeria's drawing from her tumblr [page](http://andisteppedaside.tumblr.com/):
> 
>  
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> 'Cause this time she decided to make me cry. Thank you, gurl. I really needed that. T_T 


	5. Obsession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Hux is in denial and Jiho takes shit from nobody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time I've chosen to put [Valeria's](http://andisteppedaside.tumblr.com/) latest fanart on top, aren't they lovely? *.*
> 
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> Also I opened my own tumblr page [here](http://godotcamebutiwasbusyfangirling.tumblr.com/) ^^

The thick smoke of the cigarette swiftly floated away, confusing itself with the warm, dusty breeze. There actually seemed to be nothing else on that planet but rocks, dust and wind; Hux observed the desolate lowland that spreaded to the horizon, beneath the peak where he and Kylo stood: a vast, empty basin of crackled yellow earth, dotted with only a few sharp boulders. There was no other sign of life apart from him and Ren. The General had lost the count of how many deserted planets they had visited in the past three weeks, dozens of worlds of various size and climate; from frozen mountains to rainy jungles to arid landscapes like that last one, but all of them had something in common: the absence. Not just of civilization, a deeper lack of anything familiar to him; it was an eerie feeling, like they had travelled away from their very era and got back in time to one where the Galaxy was still young and silent, where there was no other living being to inhabit it but the two of them. And that only made things worse.

He glanced at Kylo; he had been sitting in the same spot for almost an hour, his eyes closed in concentration, hoping to find a trace of Rey’s presence around them. It had became quite a routine, the same exact ritual on every planet, while Hux just stood at his side in silence, smoking and trying his best not to look at him, because each time he did the memory of that night on the Vespera invaded him like a flood. Even now, it took only a distracted gaze to make the officer’s blood heat with desire; once again, Hux had to fight to prevent himself to rush into Kylo’s arms and kiss him, push him on the ground, taste him as he did in his bedroom. But he just couldn't, because the Knight remembered nothing of that. The General hated this feeling, he hated Ren for taking the control of his own body from him and the worst thing was that even hate had become bittersweet.

Hux finished the cigarette and flattened the stub under his heel; it was the seventh that morning. If only he could see someone else apart from Kylo, maybe that would help him get rid of that obsession, consuming him like a sickness. He had tried to talk with one of the maintenance units of the Vespera, but he soon gave up that option; all those beeps and boops were giving him an headache!

«Nothing here» Kylo said, opening his eyes.

Hux snorted: «You sure?»

«Yes» he replied, with a frustrated sigh.

The General suddenly found himself letting out all the frustration he was holding in : «How can you be?» he snapped «How can you tell she’s not here, or where to look for at all?»

«Hux-»

«Forgive me, but I can’t fight the feeling we are just randomly moving from one empty bloody rock to the other! You said the Force would guide you, but you know what I think?»

He had enough of that. Enough of running around blindly, of that bloody ship, of Kylo and his very existence which was driving him crazy.

«I think you dragged me in a fucking search for a needle in the haystack and you have no idea of where we are going»

«Hux!»

« _What?!_ »

Kylo stared at him with a worried expression on his face: «Are you alright?»

«What do you think?» the General growled, lighting the eighth cigarette. No, he wasn’t alright at all.

«I know how it looks» the other continued.

«Oh, really?»

«But this was never expected to be easy»

«I noticed»

«I’m getting near» Kylo said «I’m sure of it»

«Whatever» the General let the smoke escape from his lips «Can we get back to the Vespera, please?»

Ren shrugged: «Yes, of course».

He watched the officer turning his back on him and beginning to stride towards the ship, in a furious silence; despite that, Hux in his mind was screaming. If only he hadn’t make that stupid medical check!

***

_Two weeks before…_

Hux entered cautiously in the medical facility of the Vespera.

«Err, hello?» he called «Anyone here?».

A sudden hiss came from the dark corner of the room, followed by uncertain metallic steps; soon their origin was revealed: a nurse droid, in the same old and dented style of everything on that damn ship, appeared in front of the concerned General.

«Hello» the machine answered joyfully «I am DW-10, your healthcare unit, do you need my assistance?»

Hux didn’t like the lascivious look in the droid’s eyes - and since when could a droid be _lascivious_?!

«Yes, I do» he stated, before he could give in to the temptation of turning on his heels and never stepping foot on that side of the Vespera again.

«Oh, marvellous!» the mechanical nurse exulted «I haven’t visited anyone in ages».

In any other situation, Hux would have been indignant about the droid’s amusement for the poor state of his health, which he found extremely rude, but luckily for DW-10 he had more pressing concerns on his mind to worry about that distasteful machine.

«I haven’t felt very well for a while» the General started.

«Oh, good!» the droid was simply delighted «Since when, exactly?»

“Since I almost had sex with the drunk grandson of Darth Vader and he told me I had no heart”

Hux gesticulated, vaguely: «A week or so?»

«Can you describe your symptoms?»

He briefly thought about it: «So… I don’t sleep well. My head spins. I feel sick for no reasons and sometimes it’s hard to breathe, as if there were a stone pressing on my chest».

«I recommend a body scan» DW-10 pointed him to the recliner in the middle of the room «If you could please remove your clothes».

«You want me to remain in my underpants?» the General asked, uncertain.

«Oh dear, no, I’m afraid you can’t keep those either» the droid apologized and gave a quick look at him «But I guess you can leave your hat on, if it makes you more comfortable»

The urge to grab the door and run was even stronger than before, but Hux _had_ to know what was wrong with him. He stripped naked swiftly, trying to hold on to his dignity as much as he could. He didn’t keep the hat. After he was seated, DW-10 tinkered with the switches on its console and and a pair of robotic arms began to scan his body top to bottom. The end of the torture was announced with a loud “beep”.

«You can put your clothes back on now, sir» the droid told him distractedly, while it examined the results on a monitor.

Cursing and trembling from the cold, Hux ran to grab his trousers.

«That’s odd» DW-10 said after a few moments.

The General was just finishing buttoning up his shirt: «What’s odd?»

«You are overall in good health, sir» the machine explained «I don’t see anything out of the ordinary, except for this very high readings of dopamine, testosterone, pheromones, phenylethylamine and oxytocin, which in your species are commonly related to sexual arousal and infatuation-»

«What?!» Hux jumped as if he was bitten.

«I said,» the droid restarted, patiently «That you present very high readings of dopamine, testosterone, pheromones, phenylethylamine and oxytocin, which in your species are commonly related to sexual arousal and infatuation-»

« _I_ _nfatuation?_ »

«Are you sure your hearing is alright, sir? Maybe we should do a check-up...»

«Are you telling me» Hux had to sit down again «That my body is _in love_ with Kylo Ren?»

«Oh dear, it’s not like the human body gets infatuated without the mind, sir» DW-10 explained «It would be more correct to say that “you” are in love with master Kylo».

The General bursted into an hysterical laugh: «This is impossible»

«I’m afraid the readings are quite correct, sir. Would you like to talk about your feelings? I could switch into psychology mode, if you wish»

«You what?!»

«It’s alright to be edgy: you are experiencing a very powerful sensation, maybe for the first time, but you shouldn’t be afraid of letting yourself go! My databanks tell me that love is the most beautiful sentiment of all for your species»

«I am not-»

«Of course there is a phase of denial, but remember: acceptance is the first step on the road to happiness»

« _Fuck you!_ » Hux exploded «I’m not in love with that jerk, I just can’t be!»

«But sir-»

«If you dare say a word about this» Hux threatened, stomping his way out of there «I’ll dismantle you myself!»

The door slammed behind him.

«Oh dear» DW-10 exhaled.

From that moment on, everyday Hux spent on the Vespera became a living hell; instead of solving it, knowing the cause of his stress only amplified the problem.

“I’m not in love” he repeated himself for the next two weeks, each time his sight fell on Kylo or anything that belonged to him.

“I’m just sick, it will pass” was his answer when his heart raced too fast.

“I am not…”

The lie got harder and harder to support, until one morning, while they were both tidying up the pantry after breakfast, their hands touched lightly and an electric shock of pleasure ran through Hux, leaving him breathless for a few seconds. Kylo didn’t even seem to notice. Only then the General was forced, in a fume, to admit the truth to himself.

***

After they left the dusty planet, Kylo was unnerved by the growing distress he felt coming from Hux; the more the weeks passed, the more the cold man he had come to know on Starkiller Base turned into a tense, uncontrolled version of himself. Hux’s thoughts burned like fire, especially when Kylo was around, but the Knight couldn’t understand what truly caused this, whether it was the frustrating struggle of the mission or their forced cohabitation or just the sum of many factors together. He had also considered the withdrawal from wine. Of course he could try to sneak into the General’s thoughts and directly solve the mystery, but something restrained him from doing it: whenever he timidly touched Hux’s mind, he found his walls up, yet not with intention of protecting him from outside threats; it was like the officer was trying to imprison a raging storm in the depths of his consciousness, defending Hux from himself. Kylo knew the feeling and also that walls like those wouldn’t come down painlessly, so he backed off.

However, this change in Hux was not good for his plan. Almost a month had passed by; soon the General might insist to drop by the nearest First Order outpost to refill their supplies and Kylo still had no idea of how to prevent it. He couldn’t be sure Snoke already discovered the Knight’s treason, but the chances grew stronger by the hour and drew him closer to confronting Hux with the truth. How would the officer react, discovering Kylo had been lying to him since the very beginning? He already knew the answer and it wasn’t a nice one. Everyday, as he woke, he thought about it and every night, before falling into another dream, he delayed the matter to the next morning. He had to come up with something - he kept telling himself - and before it was too late.

Sadly that wasn’t his only concern: his night visions of fire had kept evolving, getting more detailed as the time passed. Now he could finally discern where he was, a long corridor of steel preceded by a narrow flight of stairs, with identical doors opening on both sides. The fire melted their locks and hinges, turning the whole space in a sealed furnace. The corridor was familiar, though Kylo wasn’t sure of where he had seen it before.

He was certain, now, that it wasn’t just a dream, but a premonition sent to him through the Force. He couldn’t yet tell if those images belonged to the past or the future.

One of his latest visions revealed something else to him; at first he had thought he was the one burning and screaming, but now he realized he was only a spectator and that another person was surrounded by fire, a person who called for him incessantly and begged him for help. He didn’t recognize the voice, nor if it came from a man or a woman. Although, that night something changed.

***

_«Kylo, help me!» the voice reaches him from the flames. He tries to run, but he can’t see where he’s going, only the reddish glow of fire._

_«Help me»_

_Where does it come from?_

_«Kylo»_

_He wants to tell them he’s there, he’s coming, yet when he opens his mouth he finds himself mute._

_There it is, the figure surrounded by fire, spreading its arms towards him._

_«Help me, Kylo»_

When Ren woke up, all he could remember was the color of the figure’s hair: red locks, dancing in the blazing air.

“Jiho?”

***

«Lady Jiho, the Supreme Leader demands your presence» Captain Phasma said, entering the room.

Jiho’s blood turned to ice in her veins. She thanked the helmet she was wearing, that hid the pallor on her face.

«I’ll be right there» the Knight replied, but Phasma showed no sign of leaving.

«I’m sorry, my lady, but I have orders to escort you myself»

“He knows” Jiho’s heart sank “Bloody hell, he _knows_ ”.

«Lead the way, then» she commanded the Captain.

As soon as Phasma turned, Jiho grabbed her faithful spear and held it close to her side. She was ready for whatever would come; if she had to die, she would die fighting as a Knight of Ren, taking down with her as many enemies she could with the weapon Kylo built for her. Feeling the cold metal of the spear beneath her fingers gave her strength. She didn’t care about herself: the other Knights should have been safe, by now; her duty was done.

Jiho followed the Captain through the dark alleys of the palace; wary officers turned away quickly as they passed by. The Knight could feel their fear and suspect and she enjoyed every bit of it.

“Come on, look at me” she thought with fiery pride “See how I die, you bastards”

Before they entered the throne room, Phasma spoke to her again: «You are a brave warrior, my lady» the stormtrooper said «I wish you good luck».

Jiho nodded, thankfully. She and the Captain barely knew each other, but there had always been respect between them; she hoped she wouldn’t have to kill her too.

Her heart racing, Jiho pushed the door open and found herself at the presence of Supreme Leader Snoke. His Ugliness sat on his high chair and stared at the woman with his icy, malicious eyes. Jiho never liked him nor respected him; that slimy creature who tried to mock the great Sith Lords of old only managed to disgust her and she made sure he could feel it clearly in her thoughts. From Snoke, instead, all that reached her was a gelid fury.

“I hate you” Jiho snarled in her mind “I hate what you’re doing to my master”.

Snoke’s eyes narrowed and the Knight knew he heard her.

«Jiho Ren» he hissed «Take your helmet off»

Reluctantly, she obeyed. Her red locks fell like flames on her back.

«Do you know why I summoned you?»

«Should I, Supreme Leader?» she challenged him.

Feeling his anger rise thrilled her. Blood pumped fast into her veins and she held the spear tighter.

«Where are the Knights?» Snoke asked her.

«I don’t understand, my Lord» she lied.

«Where have they gone?» he growled «They disappeared, all of them»

«How could I know? Am I their master?» Jiho replied «Ask Kylo Ren»

Snoke’s Force grip closed around her throat, taking her breath away: «Your _master_ is nowhere to be found» the Supreme Leader roared «Along with his friend Armitage Hux».

Jiho’s vision started to blur.

«You know where they are».

She felt his icy fingers creeping inside her mind.

“No” she thought, desperately “I won’t let you” but there was no way of stopping him.

«If you don't tell me yourself,» Snoke’s voice exploded in her head «Then I’ll break you to find out».

It was like her whole body was being teared apart from the inside; Snoke ransacked her mind with furious greed and the more Jiho tired to resist him the more painful it got, yet she kept fighting, until the last blow knocked her on the ground, screaming. The woman remained motionless on the floor, numbed by pain; a rivulet of blood started dripping from her nostrils.

Snoke’s voice reached her, faint as an eco: «So Kylo Ren did betray me, in the end.»

“Get up” a voice inside her cried “Don’t you dare die like this.”

The spear was still solid in her grip.

“Get up.”

She moved one arm. Then the other. Jiho used her elbows to shore herself.

“Get. Up.”

She heard Snoke’s laugh: «Your loyalty is indeed remarkable» he was still inside her head «You can’t bare the thought of letting him down… Even if he already failed you.»

His words cut through her like a knife.

“Don’t listen to him, don’t…”

«Why no? You know he did: he abandoned you, he never cared for you.»

“ _Liar._ ”

«It hurts, doesn’t it? All those sacrifices, all that devotion for a man who betrayed you just as the others did.»

«SHUT UP» Jiho jerked on her feet and hurled her spear right at Snoke’s heart, but he stopped it in midair and tossed it back to her. The metallic shaft knocked her in the stomach. Jiho fell again, bent in half by the blow.

The shadow of the Supreme Leader loomed over her: «You’re no use for me dead, little Anlili.»

Jiho shivered: «That is not-»

«-Your name anymore» Snoke laughed.

Sharp tears of humiliation ran down her cheeks. She heard him call for someone and the heavy door opening again.

«Take her to the prisons» the Supreme Leader barked.

Strong hands lifted her up like; she let them carry her away, abandoning herself in that cold embrace as if she was still Anlili, the scared and weak child Jiho thought she had killed years ago; instead that lonely, little girl never died and there she showed up again, as soon as the woman gave up. Jiho was beaten.

“I’m sorry Kylo” she thought “I can’t even die a Knight.”

But then a whisper reached her broken consciousness: «Can you walk?»

She knew that voice: «Captain?»

«I said, can you walk?» Phasma repeated.

Jiho tried to nod.

«Good.»

Suddenly her feet touched the ground again; her sight was still blurry, but she could discern the other woman staring at her. Phasma shoved something in her hand, a familiar grip. Her spear?

«What are you doing?» she asked, faintly.

«If Lord Kylo is in danger, so is General Hux» the officer replied «My loyalty lies with him, and I’ll do whatever’s in my power to protect him. I think you can understand me quite well.»

Jiho smiled: «I do.»

«Then go» Phasma said «Quickly.»

She clung to her weapon, almost caressing it, and she felt the strength coming back to her; the scared child had to go and the fierce Knight was about to rise again. She would live to fight another day.

«Thank you» Jiho whispered and she ran away, to disappear into the shadows.

***

The bomb was dropped during one of their usual dinners spent in awkward silence, which Hux suddenly broke: «There is an outpost not far from here; we’re stopping there tomorrow».

Kylo suddenly felt sick.

«The sooner the better, believe me. We’ll get supplies for one more month or two and then be on our way again»

«I’m not sure» he tried to reply «We’ve kept a low profile so far, if we have contacts with the First Order we could be noticed by the Resistance»

Hux frowned: «I’m sorry, would you rather starve?»

«There could be another way»

«Please, enlighten me then» he growled.

«I don’t know, I...» Kylo hurriedly tried to come up with something «What about the worlds we visited? I’m sure we could find provisions there, hunting perhaps»

«That’s a terrific idea»

«Is it?»

«No, of course it’s not!»

Kylo snapped: «We are not going to the First Order»

«Give me a good reason why we shouldn’t»

«I told you, the Resistance-»

«Yeah, sure, the Resistance! Now let me tell you something, Ren» Hux snarled, leaning closer to him «I can’t stand you anymore. If I spend another day alone with you, I’ll lose it»

Ren fixed his eyes in the General’s, unintimidated: «That’s it» he hissed «I didn’t want to bring this up, but you leave me no choice».

«What are you talking about?»

«I’m talking about the fact that, if you want your power, you have to rely on _me_ » Kylo said «And I’m not so sure antagonizing me will make you Supreme Commander, what do you think?»

Hux whitened with anger: «Don’t you dare blackmail me»

«You didn’t hesitate to do the same with your luggage; the difference, now, is that you can’t run to Snoke. You can’t run anywhere, General»

Kylo could feel the hate rising in the officer as he realized Ren’s words were true. The Knight didn’t care; the end justified the meanings and he couldn’t afford to make even the slightest contact with the First Order, not after his dream, which he was sure meant the other Knights were in danger. He couldn’t protect them, but at least he would be able to keep Hux safe for a while longer.

«Are we clear, General?» he warned him.

If looks could kill, Kylo would have probably been dead by now. Hux finally gave up.

«As you wish, Ren» the officer said between his teeth.

That night, Hux waited till Kylo was asleep, then headed to the driving console and began to change their course. Fuck Ren and his threats; a little visit wouldn’t hurt. He’d just grab a few things for himself, talk to a couple of human beings and be back on the Vespera before the Knight could notice.

The engines of the ship rumbled as it made the jump to hyperspeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You hear that? That was the sound of Kylo's brilliant plan becoming stardust


	6. The Ugly Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Kylo’s plan gets screwed up

«Come in!» Leia Organa answered to the knock on her office door.

Poe’s scruffy hair appeared on the entrance: «Goodmorning, General» he greeted her, but his smile was tenser than usual and the former princess spotted it immediately.

«What’s wrong, Dameron?»

He blushed, embarrassed, and grabbed an envelope from his jacket’s inner pocket. He held it like it was about to explode in his hands.

«This was intercepted just a few minutes ago» he explained, handing it to Leia «I thought you should know».

Frowning, she accepted it.

«The First Order sent it across the whole Galaxy» Poe continued, while she opened the envelope.

When Leia finally read the message, her heart lost a beat.

_9 billion credits for Kylo Ren_

_and former General Armitage Hux,_

_dead or alive. Shoot at sight._

«What is this?» Leia asked, astonished «A bounty?»

«So it seems» the pilot said, just as puzzled as she was «I showed it to Finn; he says this kind of procedure is common for traitors»

That word rumbled inside Leia. _Traitors_. Ben betrayed the First Order. It seemed too good to be true.

«What should we do, General?» Poe inquired, pulling her back from her thoughts «Are we going to search for them as well?».

She shook her head: «No, not yet. Let’s see what they do first».

A fragile hope was building in her heart, appearing from the ashes of the ones that failed her when Han died, but she would force herself to be more careful this time. Even if she wanted so desperately to believe that her son was finally coming home.

«But in any case» Leia added, before Poe could leave «Armitage Hux is not our priority»

The pilot seemed confused: «I thought he would be, since he’s the one who built Starkiller Base and-»

«I know what he did» she interrupted him, with a snort.

«Then I don’t understand» he said.

Leia fixed his eyes on him: «What I mean is that Armitage Hux is going to pay anyway, either from our hand or the Order’s; so if a choice has to be made, save Kylo Ren and leave the General to his destiny».

***

The outpost of the First Order was built in the middle of a vast moorland; according to Hux’s informations, it was a rather small one, a sort of safe haven dedicated to assist the rare Star Destroyers that cruised around there, repairing the damages and filling their supplies before they took off again, to continue their journey through the stars. It was run by an old fellow student of the Academy, Lieutenant Rikk, who Hux hadn’t seen in ages. If he remembered correctly, Rikk got herself in trouble for almost losing a battle against the Resistance; the situation had been handled so poorly the First Order had been forced to send another young officer to contain the damages… Who was it? Oh right - the General grinned - it was him. That skirmish had sealed the end of Rikk’s career and the glorious beginning of Hux’s.

He landed a few miles away from his destination, hiding the Vespera behind a barren hill to shelter it from the strong wind. It was a relief for him to wear his uniform again, a sensation he truly missed. He looked in the mirror, satisfied by the familiar image he saw; his grades were magnificently on view, his coat impeccably spotless, his boots shone like they were brand new. Hux sticked his chest out, proud and definitely happy. Even for a couple of hours, he’d be his old self again; people would treat him with the respect he deserved, obey his orders without questions and never _ever_ dare to answer back. Just the thought of it felt so good he walked out of his quarters humming merrily.

Striding down the corridor, he found himself in front of Kylo’s door and there he stopped for a moment. Then, without further hesitation, he locked the entrance from the outside. With an evil smirk on his face, Hux strolled out of the Vespera, following the map to find his way through the windy sea of hills and dry weeds.

***

When Ren woke up, an hour later, he instantly knew something was wrong. He couldn’t quite put his hands on it, but the feeling was loud and clear, like an irritating tickle on the back of his neck; then he realized: the soft humming of the Vespera’s engines was gone. They were not flying. He jerked out of the bed and made it to the door, but when he attempted to open it, he found it was locked. On the edge of a panic attack, he tried again and again.

“Oh no” he thought, as a gelid sensation twisted his stomach “Oh please, _no_ ”.

He grabbed the lightsaber from his nightstand and slashed his way through the metal, as he prayed the Force that was only a malfunction of the door, but inside he already knew it wasn’t. As soon as he managed to create an opening large enough, Kylo stormed out and ran to the General’s room.

«Hux!» he called, knocking the door so hard his fist started to hurt «Hux, are you there?»

No answer came. In cold sweat, he tried to stretch his consciousness behind the entrance, then he explored the rest of the Vespera, from the cockpit to the cargo hold, but no matter how hard he tried: he couldn’t feel the General’s presence anywhere on board.

«Okay, let’s keep calm» he muttered, quite uselessly, to himself «There are lots of logical explanations for this; he didn’t have to go out, maybe I can’t find him because he had a stroke and died»

Kylo wasn’t sure of what to wish for. He couldn’t wait any longer, so he pressed the opening button of the door, almost hoping to find Hux’s body cold on the floor, but the room was completely empty, save for the omnipresent matched luggage. Ren felt his hair standing on end.

«Shit»

Hux was gone, the engines were down, his door had been lock from the outside.

«SHIT»

He knew where the General was. The damn idiot couldn’t resist the temptation and ran to the First Order! This was bad, this was very bad; he had to run after him, there was no time to lose, hopefully he’d reach him before he could set foot inside the outpost. What if it was too late? What if they had caught him, or worse, killed him already? He felt a grip in his heart just at the thought of it. As fast as he could, Kylo got back to his room, replaced his loose fitting black trousers with some proper clothes and rushed to the hatch of the ship. Outside, he took a moment to orient himself, trying to find out in which direction Hux went; he spotted him soon and rushed on his trail. If they had done something to him, if there were nothing he could do to save him - Kylo held the grip of the lightsaber tighter in his hand - at least Ren would have made them regret that day.

***

It took a while, but finally Hux walked through the gates of the outpost, with his head held high and a satisfied grin on his face. Seeing the military life spreading in front of him, so neat and ordered, was inebriating; the General walked in the courtyard filled with stormtrooper with pride, feeling comfortable at last. It was all so perfect he was almost moved. Although, Hux soon began to notice something queer; small, odd details that probably meant nothing, but tickled his nerves a bit: as he passed by, everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at him, as if they had never seen a human being before. Someone had even the guts to _point at him_. Hux found that rudeness simply irritating; he could understand it might be a little strange to see a General arrive unannounced to that dump of a planet, and probably none of them ever saw someone higher in the ranks than a captain in their entire life, but that kind of behavior was simply unacceptable in the army. He was sure it was all Rikk’s fault; he’d need to have a word with her about discipline, later. Speaking of which, where the hell was the Lieutenant?

«You!» he reproached a stormtrooper who gave him the back.

The private turned around - he had no helmet on - and as soon as he saw Hux his eyes widened in shock.

«But» the soldier muttered «Aren’t you-?»

«I’m General Armitage Hux» the ginger interrupted him, disgusted by the evident lack of order those troops had «Where can I find Lieutenant Rikk?»

The other still stared at him with his mouth open.

«Well? I haven’t got the whole day!» Hux was growing annoyed.

«She- she’s in the main tent» the soldier finally muttered.

«Good. That wasn’t so hard, was it private?»

“The state of this outpost is unacceptable!” he thought, in the meantime “I’ll have to do something about it, after I become Supreme Commander”

He gestured impatiently in the direction of the tent: «What are you waiting for?» he barked at the stormtrooper, still looking at him as if he couldn’t actually believe he was there «Escort me to the Lieutenant!»

The soldier opened and closed his mouth, uncertain. Eventually he began to walk: «This way» he muttered to the General.

Hux snorted and followed him. He was simply disgusted by that reception; what happened to decor? Where the heck was respect for superiors? Apparently Rikk though that being far away from any form of civilization meant her troops could behave like savages; well, Hux thought, anticipating the lecture he’d give her, she was about to learn that no matter where her outpost was, such conduct would not be tolerated.

The main tent turned out to be a large tarpaulin held up by some rusty looking poles; beneath it, the General could spot a bunch of officers staring intently to something on a table - a sheet of paper, he realized as they got closer.

«Lieutenant?» the private escorting him whimpered «I think you need to see this».

“ _This?_ ” Hux thought, astounded “How dare you refer to me as ‘ _this’_? As soon as I’m finished here, you are dead!”

Rikk, a chubby woman in her thirties, vaguely gazed up. The moment she saw the General, her face lost any color and she gasped, unable to believe _who_ was in front of her. She stared at him, then to the sheet of paper she still held in her hands and back to him again.

«Armitage Hux» she exhaled faintly.

That was more than the ginger could take!

«It’s _General_ for you, Lieutenant» he snarled, furious «And I have to say, I’m far beyond disappointed for the way you and your soldiers received me»

«You what?» Rikk mumbled.

Hux continued, ignoring her: «It is simply unacceptable; I promise you there will be consequences for your lack of discipline. You and your men are a disgrace for the First Order!»

«But you-»

«This whole outpost insults our Supreme Leader» and it would be insulting the new Supreme Commander soon enough, but before the ginger could finish  formulating this thought, Rikk and the officers around her grabbed their blasters and pointed them towards Hux.

He froze, shocked. What the heck did they think they were doing?

«Lieutenant» he mumbled «What’s the meaning of this?»

A malicious smile had appeared on Rikk’s face: «Oh, you have no idea of what pleasure this gives me! Of all the places in the Galaxy, you came here. It seems so appropriate; now I can finally get my revenge for what you did to my career. Hands up!»

«You can’t be serious»

«You could say I am _deadly_ serious»

«This is _treason_ » Hux growled, his face pale with anger «I’ll have you all hanged for this!»

The was a moment of silence, then all the officers started laughing uncontrollably. A cold feeling of dread creeped down the ginger’s back; what the hell was going on? Hux gazed confused around him, trying to understand, to find an answer, but slowly terror began to cloud his head and make it spin. Deafted by those hateful laughs, surrounded and alone, the officer knew he was in danger. He had to get out of there, as fast as he could. Rikk seemed to have read his thoughts, because she aimed the blaster at him once again.

«Where do you think you’re going, Armitage?» she mocked him «There’s no way to run».

The only weapon Hux had with him was the blaster at his belt, but he’d never make it in time to grab it and shoot before they did. He could try and call Kylo; no, he’d never manage to get near a radio and even if, he remembered with dread, how could he help him when Hux had locked him inside his room? He couldn’t understand. Why was this happening to him? It wasn’t supposed to end this way; the First Order should have supported their mission, so why were they threatening him? He tried to make a few, weary steps back.

«Let’s keep calm, now» he said, slowly «Okay, I admit it. Maybe I wasn't as nice with you as I should have been. But, Rikk, do you really want to kill me? You’ll get in trouble for this, you know that»

She laughed again: «Actually, it doesn’t make any difference to them whether I deliver you dead or alive, so...» she put her finger on the trigger, ready to fire «Goodbye, Armitage Hux!»

But before she could do anything, a chorus of screams came from the courtyard. All the officers turned in that direction to see what was going on, when suddenly they flung in the air and landed violently a few meters away, as if an invisible hand had just slapped them away from Hux. There was only one person capable of that.

«What the hell did you think you were doing?!» Kylo roared, reaching the ginger beneath the tent and pushing the General down to the ground with him; a series of blaster shots passed over their heads.

«Quick, there!» the Knight ordered, pointing at a pile of containers that could serve them well as cover. As they crawled in the direction of the boxes, lasers exploding everywhere around them, Hux thought he had never been so happy to see someone in his whole life.

«You are bloody late!» he shouted angrily at Ren.

Yeah, he was glad as fuck the Knight was there, but he would have died rather than say it out loud.

«You locked me up, what were you expecting?» the other snarled back.

Kylo had arrived just in time, luckily: he had run inside the outpost and immediately spotted Hux underneath the tent, about to get killed. Before anyone could realize Ren was even there, he had activated the lightsaber and rushed to save the General. Now, the real trick would be to get out of the base again, possibly alive and in only one piece. When they were finally safe behind the containers, they took a moment to catch their breath.

«I don’t understand» Hux muttered, panting, but the Knight ignored him and gazed around them, searching for a way out. Eventually, he spotted a group of speeder bikes on their left; they would have to abandon their cover to reach them, but Kylo saw no other option. He turned to Hux; the officer was pale and sweating, he stared into the void, too shocked to move.

Ren shook him by the shoulder: «Hux, we need to go»

The ginger flinched and seemed to regain control of himself.

«Okay, you see those speeders there?» Ren continued.

The other nodded.

«Can you drive one?»

He nodded again, this time a little more convinced.

Kylo secured the grip of the lightsaber in his hand, ready to run: «You drive as fast as you can to the Vespera, I’ll be in the back to keep anyone out of our way, understood?»

«Yeah» the General could think more clearly now; he was actually lucid enough to begin to find Kylo’s well-timed appearance a bit too suspicious. How did he know Hux was in danger?

«On the count of three. One..»

The ginger decided to ask him as soon as they were out of that place.

«Two...»

He had the feeling Kylo could answer all his questions, but it wasn’t a nice sensation at all.

« _Three!_ »

They sprang forward, rushing to the speeder bikes. The sound of blaster shots filled the air around them, but Kylo kept them both safe, diverting the blasts with the Force and his lightsaber. Fate seemed to smile at them: the first vehicle Hux reached had the keys already inserted. He jumped on it and powered it up; the speeder came to life with a roar of engines.

«Kylo!» he called.

Ren climbed on the saddle behind him, holding onto him with one arm, while the other still flung the lightsaber around. Hux pushed on the accelerator and the bike burst forth, knocking on the ground a few stormtrooper it found on its path. As they raced through the courtyard and passed the gates, Hux heard Rikk’s angry voice coming from their back.

«Bring the TIE fighters!» the Lieutenant was barking.

It was all the ginger could hear before they were too far away in the moorland, but it was enough to know that they weren’t yet safe. He hit the gas; the sooner they reached the Vespera, the better. In the meantime, he would take the opportunity to turn the screw on Ren.

«What the fuck is going on?!» Hux shouted at Kylo, over his shoulder «Why are they shooting at us?»

The Knight hopelessly tried to come up with something believable: «I think they were actually the Resistance»

« _The Resistance?_ »

«Yeah, you know, in disguise...»

«Do you at least realize how stupid that sounds?!»

Ren failed completely.

Befor Hux could ask him anything else, they heard the iconic hiss of TIE fighters engines filling the air. They were coming after them and fast. The noise grew louder by the minute; the ginger was almost certain they’d catch them before they could reach the ship, but then the road made one last turn and the Vespera appeared before them. They abandoned the speeder bike on the ground; the hatch of the spaceship closed behind them just as the first shots hit the hull. Hux and Kylo took their places in the cockpit; in no time, the engines of the Vespera were heating up, ready to leave the ground. Outside, the enemy fighters kept firing.

«Will the shields hold on?» the General asked, weary.

Kylo replied: «They will, but not for long. If we want to escape, we need to jump to the hyperspeed»

«What about the calculations?»

«I’ll take care of it, but now we need to get away from the surface»

The Knight took the controls and the Vespera flung swiftly into the windy sky, the TIE fighters pressing on her tail. Every time they tried to gain altitude, the enemy ships, more agile and fast than the bulky shuttle was, cut them off and forced them towards the ground, but Kylo didn’t give up; he had spent most of his life on a spaceship not much different from the Vespera, he was taught how to fly by the best pilots in the Galaxy, he could do it.

“Dad, Chewie” he thought “Time to make you proud”.

Instead of pointing the nose up, this time Kylo made the Vespera dive abruptly; they fell faster and faster towards the ground, the TIEs still following them and Hux screaming in terror in the copilot seat, and only at the last minute Kylo pulled up. The ship barely skimmed on the tall grass, but behind them they could hear the loud crash of one of the fighters smashing on the ground. Kylo grinned as the adrenaline made him feel dizzy. The Vespera was nothing compared to the Millennium Falcon, but he was damn proud of her.

«You bastard» Hux whimpered at his side.

Kylo glanced at the General, just to find him clinging rigidly at his armrests, his eyes widened in horror.

«You could have killed us»

Ren ignored him: one fighter was still intact and it restarted its fire. The Knight tried to get rid of it with a few more maneuvers, but with no results; the pilot must have been a good one if he could still keep up with him. Kylo was running out of ideas and the shields, tested by the continuous fire, were about to collapse; he had to find a solution quickly, if they wanted to make it out alive.

“Think Kylo, think” he struggled, guiding the Vespera into another dangerous loop.

To escape they had to make the jump to lightspeed. To make the jump he had to run the calculations. To do that, he would have needed time and a precise direction to take, but he didn’t trust leaving the controls to Hux. There seemed to be no way out!

“What would dad do?”

And there came the light bulb. Of course it was probably the most dangerous idea Kylo could conceive, but if they were lucky enough…

An alarm signaled the shield had reached their limit; they could no longer wait. Ren took a deep breath, then pointed the Vespera up once again, engines at full speed. As soon as the atmosphere thinned, Kylo launched the ship to hyperspeed in a completely blind jump.

***

They dropped from the hyperdrive after a short while; they were both still breathing heavily from the chase and sat frozen at their places. The General and the Knight fixed their eyes, widened with terror, on the still stars outside the window, as the effect of the adrenaline slowly ran out.

«Where are we?» Hux had the stomach to ask, a few moments later.

Kylo clung to the controls as if his hands had glued onto them: «I have no idea»

«You mean» the General muttered «That you made the jump without calculating the course?»

«Yeah» he exhaled, with a tremble in his voice.

«You could have killed us both»

«Yeah»

«We could have ended up inside a bloody black hole»

«Yeah»

«Don’t ever do that again»

«Count on it»

And yet, Hux couldn’t prevent himself from thanking Kylo’s fucking unbelievable luck.

«Are there First Order's ships in the nearby?» he inquired.

«The radar doesn’t pick any» Ren said, finally letting the controls go.

«Good».

A heavy silence fell again in the cabin.

«Okay» Hux said «So, what are we gonna do?»

«I don’t know, what you wanna do?» Kylo replied, still looking into the void.

The general shrugged: «I don’t know, but let’s do something»

«Okay… What you wanna do?»

«For fuck’s sake, Ren, get a hold of yourself!»

«Don’t scream at me»

«Oh, I’m sorry, did I hurt your feelings?»

Kylo glared at him, then turned back to the console and started studying a map of the area; Hux heard him mutter something not very flattering between his teeth, but he was still too shocked to give a snarky reply.

Finally, Ren said: «There is a system not far from here; one of the planets seems habitable. Should we go there?»

«Are there people?» the officer asked.

«Doesn’t look like it»

«That surely breaks the routine» the ginger commented, sarcastically, but for the first time he was actually glad to be headed towards a deserted world.

The rest of the journey to the planet was spent in a weary silence. Kylo led the Vespera with no hesitations and soon they were able to see their destination on screen, a bright blue sphere mottled with white stripes, clouds for sure, that grew closer by the minute. The atmosphere was dense, as they discovered when the Vespera pressed through it and it began to shake under the pressure of the wind. They swiftly pierced through the grey clouds and a vast ocean appeared before them; there was no land to be seen till the horizon, apart from a few rocky islands that rose from the waters, as if they tried to escape the abyss that wanted to swallow them. It really looked like the umpteenth empty world. It wasn’t long before Kylo spotted a natural harbor on one of the biggest islands, wide enough for the Vespera to land without troubles. The Knight made one last loop around it to slow down and pointed the nose to the shore. As soon as they touched the ground and the engines fell silent, Hux untied his seatbelt. He needed to breathe, to clear his mind with some fresh air. The officer opened the hatch of the ship and stormed outside; his boots slipped on the rocky beach, but he managed to reach the sea on his feet. Hux’s head spinned dangerously; he still couldn’t understand what happened at the outpost. Why did the First Order try to kill them?

He heard Ren’s voice from behind his back: «You okay?»

«I’m fine» the General lied «I’m just… Fine».

«Where do you think we are?» the Knight wondered.

«Oh, I’ll tell you where we are: _in the middle of bloody nowhere!_ » he couldn’t help screaming back.

Hux’s voice echoed in the distance; the General was everything except fine. He wanted answers and there was only one person who could provide them.  

«So» he asked, turning to face Kylo «Are you going to tell me what’s going on? Why did those stormtroopers shoot at us? And I don’t buy the “they were actually the Resistance”, because that’s simply ridiculous!»

Ren stared silently to the ground, apparently very interested in the shape of his boots. He seemed… embarrassed?

«You might want to sit down first» he said, finally.

«I’m fine standing» the ginger replied, sensing bad news on the way.

«No, I mean it: sit down».

A cold shiver ran down Hux’s spine. He looked around him, searching for the most comfortable looking rock and after sweeping a bit of dust from the top he sat on it, stiff as a piece of wood. A tiny voice in his head was telling him the news were worse than he could possibly imagine.

«Remember when we spoke in the mess hall? And I told you about my plan?»

Hux nodded, mechanically.

«Well, the thing is all the “let’s kill Skywalker and then Snoke when we get back” was actually… A lie» Kylo confessed «The Knights of Ren abandoned the Order. I guess today’s - uhm - _accident_ means Snoke found out».

«Are you telling me» Hux mumbled incredulous, after a long silence, and he carefully pronounced each single word «That you deliberately betrayed the First Order and now you’re a fugitive?»

«Err, technically you came with me voluntarily… So _we_ betrayed the First Order. And now _we_ are fugitives».

The General - _former General_ now - didn’t say a word. He just stared at him, dangerously expressionless. Then, suddenly, he jerked up and began to walk around the beach, febrile.

«Hang on» he muttered, his thoughts running wild «Hang on a minute, I’m no traitor! You deceived me, I can still go back and deliver you to Snoke, he’ll make me a statue, he will-»

But the guilty expression on Kylo’s face reminded him of something and all his hopes were crushed.

«He will look inside my head» he muttered, with a growing sense of nausea «And know I was planning to betray him anyway»

The Knight could do nothing but nod.

Hux was shaking, his legs felt like they couldn’t support him anymore. It couldn’t be true, it just couldn’t. Maybe it was just a dream, yes, something caused by last night’s dinner, for sure, he had never trusted canned food; that’s it, it was only a fucking dream! All he had to do was wait to wake up, because it was simply unbelievable that Ren, after all, could be so bloody stupid to do such a thing. It was too much even for him. But then he thought back to their journey, of how they kept away from anything and anyone, of the way Kylo opposed to seek help from the First Order from the start; all their discussions and the secrecy that seemed to surround the Knight came together like the pieces of an incomprehensible puzzle which now, _only now_ , began to make sense. Hux’s head spinned faster as the realization fell on him with its unbearable weight.

When he looked again at Kylo, the desire that had tortured him for weeks like a sweet poison was gone; if only the day before just the sight of Ren heated Hux’s heart with a scary but inebriating flame, now the thick armor of ice came back to freeze it again.

«You lied to me» he mumbled, still incredulous «From the very beginning. You set me up, you trapped me».

Hux would have preferred Kylo to deny, to scream at him and defend himself, but he just stood there in silence; he didn’t even dare look at the General - _former_ General.

«Why?» Hux hissed.

The Knight didn’t answer.

Blinded by a sudden, uncontrollable anger, Hux grabbed him by collar and shook him: « _Why?_ Tell me, you bastard, why me? Why did you do this to me? Wasn’t the Starkiller enough?»

They were so close only a breath separated their lips; the General hated himself for that thought.

«Because I didn’t want to leave you behind» was Kylo’s weak reply.

«You- you didn’t want... to leave me behind» Hux articulated, letting go of Ren. It was so fucking ridiculous he wasn’t sure if he should either cry or laugh. He opted for the latter; it was a harsh, hysterical cackle.

«I can’t believe it!» he managed to say between the laughs «You dragged me into this hell of a journey, you lied to me, you basically ruined my whole life, you even pretended for an entire month you were looking for Skywalker… _because you didn’t want to leave me behind._ »

«Wait a second» Kylo stirred up, frowning «I _was_ looking for Skywalker, that wasn’t a lie, I used the Force to-»

« _FUCK_ THE FORCE!» Hux screamed back, silencing him.

Everything still seemed so irrealistic.

«I lost it all» the former officer whispered, almost to himself «I thought I’d won, instead you stripped it all away from me. My power, my soldiers, my career...»

He had to sit down again not to vomit: «All to ashes».

Kylo’s uncertain voice reached him: «I thought our friendship could matter more than your career.»

That was the last straw; Hux just couldn’t bear it any longer.

He fixed his eyes on Kylo’s; they were full of hatred as he snarled: «Now, let’s make this clear: nothing, and I repeat, _nothing_ matters to me more than my career; not friends, not relatives, not allies or subordinates and most certainly not _you!_ ».

Hux saw he had struck hard. Something had crackled in Ren and he couldn’t help feeling terribly glad of that; on the other hand, a shade of bitterness still remained, but he buried it deep down under the plate of ice that surrounded, once again strong, his heart.

«Hux-» Kylo started, but the other hushed him.

«Just shut up, right now I can’t tolerate your very existence!»

«But I-»

«You know what? I've got an idea: see that rock over there?» he pointed at a big boulder at the far side of the bay «From that point on, it’s _your_ part of the island. The beach and the Vespera are in _my_ part of the island. You stay in your part, do whatever you want, I don’t care. Have a tantrum, kill some wildlife, go waste someone else’s time, since you’re so good at it!»

But Ren didn’t give up: «Please, just listen to me for a second.»

«You really don’t get it, do you?» he shouted at him, jerking up on his feet « _I hate you_. You ruined my life. I don’t want to see you or hear you, because otherwise I’ll...»

What? He wondered, suddenly. What would he do? Kill him? Get his blaster out of its holster and shoot him down? Would he fire and stand there watching as Kylo’s blood mixed with the sea water?

«Go» he begged, between his teeth «Go now and leave me, please»

Hux turned to face the sea and fixed his gaze to the horizon. It took a while, but finally he heard Kylo’s steps on the rocks, getting fainter in the distance. Only when the bay was silent once again, the former General allowed the fatigue to take over him; he fell on his knees and sank his face deep into his hands. For years and years he’d never allowed himself to cry, not even in his darkest moments, but this time there was nothing he could do to stop the tears from running on his cheeks and filling his mouth with their salty, disgusting taste. He wasn’t sure what he was crying for, nor he cared. He sobbed in silence till he felt so weak he trembled, till his knees hurt and the loud noise of the waves made him deaf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actual conversation about this chapter between me and Valeria:
> 
>  


	7. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where that's actually how the Force works

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Did you miss me? I know, I'm late, but this chapter gave me some issues, since I decided to anticipate a couple of things. It will be mysterious. Of course, one day all the pieces will come together, but not so soon ;) Enjoy!

Deep cuts scarred the rocks all around him; Kylo had unleashed his anger on them until his muscles were sore and he fell asleep in a corner. It had been a long, troubled night; instead of the usual dream of fire and screams, other shadows visited him but they had been no less painful. He relived the death of his father, over and over again, and each time he kept hearing Chewie’s excruciating roar. He saw his mother; her face melted into Rey’s and then Luke’s. They all stared at him with hollow eyes. Kylo woke up many times, just to fall back in a new nightmare as soon as his eyes closed again. Dawn found him cold and tired; part of him wanted to run back to Hux and beg him to forgive him, the other, proud half chained him there to the rocks, trying to convince him that the ginger overreacted and Kylo wasn’t the one to blame. But he was and he knew it.

Ren sank his face deep into his palms. Under his fingertips, he could feel the rough shape of his scar. For a while he had almost forgot about it, maybe because even Hux didn’t seem to notice it anymore; in the past weeks, the officer had seemed to look past it, so Kylo slowly started to do it as well. Now everything changed and he didn’t know what to do next.

If the First Order found them, they were both dead. If the Republic found them, they were dead as well. If the Resistance found them, maybe Kylo would survive, but Hux didn’t have as many chances. The Knight snorted. He couldn’t see a way out that didn’t involve the General’s death, but there _had_ to be one and Kylo wouldn’t give up until he’d found it. If only they could locate Rey and Luke…

«Well» a voice in the back of his mind reminded him «You surely aren’t going to find them by sitting here».

Every journey begins with a single step; there were still tons of problems to be solved, but before anything else Kylo had to make that first step. So he swallowed his pride, grabbed the lightsaber from the ground and got back on his feet. He had to talk to Hux, no matter how humiliating it was going to be. The only hope they had now was to stick together and work out a plan.

***

Dawn had just broken when a small boat reached the shore of the natural harbor where the Vespera was parked. The warm light of the morning caressed the crest of the waves and the skin of the young girl who jumped out of the craft.

She curiously looked at the Vespera and said, without turning around: «You were right»

«Indeed I was» a man in his fifties answered her, climbing off the boat and standing beside her.

«But how did they find us?»

He shrugged: «By chance, I guess?»

The girl was astounded: « _By chance?_ »

The old man nodded, wisely: «My dear, the Force works in mysterious ways»

She wasn’t quite convinced.

«Luke» she began, with a sigh «You’ve been hiding here for years and no-one has ever come close to this planet, do you really believe they are here by chance?»

The Jedi master looked scandalized: «Why not? Stranger stuff happens in the Galaxy, Rey».

In the growing light, the Jakku girl spotted a strange shape lying down on the rocky beach. She squinted her eyes, trying to understand what or who it was.

«I think there’s something there» she said and she marched towards it before Luke could reply.

As she got closer, she realized it was a man. He was deeply asleep on the ground, huddled beneath a long black coat that served him as a cover; only his boots and some ginger locks were visible. Rey squatted near him and shook him gently to awake him. The man grunted and sank deeper in his coat.

«Go away» she heard him mumble «You’re hot but I still hate you»

«Err… Thank you?» the girl replied, perplexed.

Hux’s eyes thrust open. That wasn’t Kylo’s voice. He jerked up, pushing the coat aside, and he found himself staring at a young girl with tied chestnut hair; her hazel eyes were fixed on him as well, in mute wondering. For a second, Hux thought he was still asleep and that was some strange dream; they should have been on a empty planet, after all, where could this skinny gal possibly have popped up from? But then she spoke again.

«Why are you sleeping on the beach?» she asked him, curiously.

The former General was still too surprised to answer.

«You have a ship there» the girl continued, pointing at the Vespera.

«I don’t have the key» Hux finally muttered.

Kylo had brought it away with him when the ginger exiled him in the other part of the island; of course as soon as Armitage had realized that, it was too late and he decided he preferred to freeze rather than run after the Knight.

The girl frowned, confused: «Isn’t it your ship?»

«That jalopy?» Hux replied, indignantly «Of course it’s not!»

He was slowly accepting the existence of other people on that godforsaken scrap of a planet; even if it was just a little girl.

«Is he alive?» a voice inquired from the shore.

A girl and what looked like an old hermit, Hux corrected himself when he saw the man behind her, standing near a little boat.

A girl.

And what looked like an old hermit.

The ginger froze, his eyes widened in shock as the revelation formed inside his head. No way. No fucking way. It just couldn’t be. Not after they spent an entire month zigzagging randomly across the Unknown Regions.

«I’m sorry» he eventually found the courage to ask «Are you Rey?»

She looked surprised: «Yes, do we know each other?»

A cold chill ran down Hux’s spine. He stood up on his feet, his head spinning fast.

He pointed at the old man: «But- but that means you are…?»

«Luke Skywalker» he confirmed, smiling and coming at Rey’s side «Nice to meet you»

For a long moment, all Hux could do was staring at the couple; he secretly hoped he could make them disappear just by looking at them. Then, out of the blue, the former officer burst into an high pitched, hysterical laugh. He cackled so hard his abs hurt and tears spilled from the corners of his eyes; he couldn’t even breath by how badly he was laughing. He had to sit down again.

«I can’t believe it!» he managed to articulate between the giggles «You - hahahahaha - you are here»

The old Jedi master and his apprentice stared at him, perplexed and even a bit scared.

«Oh boy» Luke whispered to Rey «I think the poor guy lost it»

But Hux shook his head in reply: «Oh no - hahaha - _you_ were the lost ones, but here you are!»

His laughs turned into frustrated sobs; Hux’s head hurt so much it seemed about to explode.

He jerked up again and scream at the two astonished Jedi: «I HATE YOU».

«Well… sorry for that» Luke muttered after a long, shocked silence «Is there any particular reason?»

«Oh yes, there is, you bet there is!» Hux panted, short of breath «You are the reason my life got ruined and you know what’s worse? Do you want to know what’s worse?»

If it was going to shut the ginger’s mouth, Luke really wanted to know what was worse: «What is it?»

The former officer grinned, maniacally: «The worst part is… I’ll have to apologise to _him_ for not believing in the Force! Do you have any idea of how that will be? No, you don’t, you can’t, you never will-»

«Luke» the girl said, pulling the sleeve of his tunic «I think we should leave»

« _Don’t you fucking dare!_ » Hux shouted, freezing them both on the spot.

«You’re not going anywhere» he ordered the two Jedi «Until _he_ gets here and sees you and proves me I’m not mad»

Luke timidly raised his hand: «Sorry if I ask, but who’s “him”?»

Right in that moment, a shout came from the far side of the bay: «HUX»

A frustrated smirk appeared on the ginger’s lips: « _That_ is him»

They all turned around: Kylo was climbing down the wet and slippy cliff, trying his best not to fall. He was giving his back on them, concentrated on clinging to the treacherous rocks.

«Okay, you want me to say it?» the Knight shouted «I’ll say it:  _I am sorry!_ I have no fucking idea of where we are, or how to find Skywalker, or how to survive this whole bloody mess»

Miraculously, he managed to touch the ground without getting himself killed.

«And you were right» he continued to scream at the former General «This is NOT HOW THE FORCE WORKS!»

Kylo turned around and saw Hux wasn’t alone. It took him a moment to realize who the two people looking at him with their mouths open in astonishment were. He stared at Luke and Rey, then at Hux - who was grinning in a worryingly insane way - then at the Jedi again.

«… Unless it is» he mumbled in the end, incredulous.  

Armitage’s sharp chuckle broke the silence. The ginger shook his head and began to stride towards the Vespera.

«I’ve had enough of this shit» he declared, stomping away «Sort it out among yourselves!»

The other three were still petrified, looking at each other without knowing exactly what they should do. Rey was the first to get a hold of herself. She grabbed her lightsaber and activated it, pointing its blue glow at Kylo.

«Wait!» he stopped her. The Knight tossed his own saber at her feet and raised his hands.

«See?» Kylo said, showing the empty palms to the girl «No weapons, I’m not here to hurt you»

«Yeah, sorry if I find that a bit hard to believe» Rey snarled back.

Behind her, Luke bent down and retrieved Ren’s saber; he examined it, curiously.

«I know» Kylo tried to get a bit closer to them «But it’s the truth, I swear»

«Prove it»

«I just did!» he replied «Listen, I didn’t come here for the First Order, actually I ran away from them»

Rey voided the distance between them and steered her lightsaber to Kylo’s throat; he immobilized, the loud humming of the laser roaring in his ear, but didn’t pull back, instead he fixed his eyes in the girl’s, challenging her to strike him down, if that was what she wanted.

The Jedi endured his stare, cold and sure.

«I don’t believe you» she hissed.

«So why don’t you finish what you started on Starkiller?» the other provoked her.

Rey stiffened and the Knight knew he had struck something, a sensible spot, but before he could investigate any further, they heard Luke’s voice.  

«Rey, put down that lightsaber» the Skywalker ordered, calmly but firm, resting a hand upon her shoulder.

For a long moment, she didn’t move; eventually, the girl lowered her weapon and stepped away from Kylo. The Knight looked at his old master, who came closer to him; the Jedi still held Ren’s saber in his hands and examined it closely.

«Interesting shape» he noticed, gazing at Kylo.

«The crystal I used is damaged» he explained «The vents divert the extra heat to the sides of the hilt»

«An unstable weapon» Luke remarked.

«I like it this way» the other said, not without a certain pride.

The Jedi turned it in his hands and nodded in approval: «You always liked mechanics».

He hid the weapon in the pocket of his coat; Luke stared intensely at the Knight, then he raised a hand, as to touch his cheek.

«May I?» he asked, before he reached the skin.

Kylo took a deep breath and nodded, ready. He knew it wasn’t going to be pleasant, but he had been prepared for it since the moment he decided to run away; when the Skywalker finally made contact, Ren let it all go. He opened himself completely to Luke. He showed him everything, his mind was defenseless to the touch of the Jedi; Kylo closed his eyes while his old master freely explored the corners of his consciousness, from the First Order, to the Knights, to his visions, to his journey in search for him and Rey. He flinched only twice: when Luke assisted to his father’s death on Starkiller and when he went through Kylo’s sentiments for Hux. Both times, Luke stopped and gave him time to get a hold of himself, then continued gently in his inspection. Finally, the Knight felt him retreat. As he opened his eyes again, Ren realized they were full of tears. Weary and shaken, he heard the Jedi’s voice.

«I see» he was muttering and right after he spoke to Rey «He’s telling the truth, my dear; he’s not here to hurt us».

The Skywalker put his hands on Kylo’s arms and squeezed.

«Dear nephew» Luke said «I think we need to talk».

***

He couldn’t find them anywhere. No matter how much Snoke stretched his mind across the Galaxy, no matter how many stars he touched, how many worlds he visited: Kylo Ren and Armitage Hux seemed to have disappeared from the Universe itself. He jerked up from his throne and, with a desperate cry, he Force pushed away the brazier in front of him; bright embers spread on the stone floor, soon they began to die and turn to ashes. Ashes, just like Snoke’s plan. He felt his grand scheme turning to dust and slipping through his finger, faster by the hour; still he couldn’t understand what went wrong.

Rage made his heart thunder inside his ears, but it wasn’t fury that made him tremble: it was a cold, piercing fear. There was someone else in the room, a presence he had hoped not to feel again for a long time more. She was here and she was watching him; he felt her cold stare on the back of his head. The Supreme Leader turned around and looked at the woman who appeared from the darkness. He couldn’t see her face properly, it was hidden under the hood of a long crimson cloak, but after all he never had; her features had been a mystery from the very first time, except from her eyes: they blazed in the darkness with their yellowish light.

«You seem troubled, Snoke» she purred, approaching the throne where the Supreme Leader sat just a few moment before. Her voiced echoed in the air like a melodious hiss.

He flinched, wary.

«Have you found them?» she inquired.

«No» he admitted, but he immediately corrected himself «Not yet».

Her disappointment filled the air like a dark, thick veil: «I see».

The woman sat on Snoke’s throne and crossed her legs with catlike elegance. The Supreme Leader’s blood heated with rage, but there was nothing he could say or do to stop her. Whatever she had wanted from him, she would have taken because, as she often liked to remind him, he wouldn’t have nothing if it wasn’t for her. The First Order, the throne, Snoke himself; all belonged to the woman clothed in crimson. This feeling of ownership was what he hated most of her.

«And I thought I’d given you a rather easy task» she continued, mocking him «All you had to do was keep the Knights of Ren under your control»

«I-»

«Tell me, _apprentice_ » she interrupted him «Is it so difficult to hold a bunch of unruly kids? Apparently, you let them grow too strong».

«I did what you asked» Snoke tried to defend himself «I restrained them, I separated them from their master and sent him in search of Skywalker! He came back weakened, he’s shattered and lost, he-»

«He was still strong enough to fool you» she replied, with an amused smile «Didn’t we have a deal, apprentice? You should never lie to me»

Snoke was confused: «Master, I don’t understand...»

«Oh, I think you do. You say you sent Vader’s grandson in a mission to weaken him, but that’s not true: you _wanted_ him to get stronger in the Dark Side and you, pardon my frankness, failed».

«Master» he repeated «I swear my intentions-»

She raised a hand to halt him: «You insult me; you thought I wouldn’t realize what you are breeding him for?»

Blood turned to ice inside Snoke’s veins.

«Oh yes» she continued, with a sharp grin «I’ve know for a long time, my dear, that you are training Kylo Ren to kill me for you. And I understand, truly; he’s a Skywalker after all and the Force runs stronger in his family than in any other across the Galaxy. And his grandfather - ah! - how could we forget him? But I suggest you to give up, my apprentice. If you ever succeeded in turning Ben Solo to the Dark Side, he’d might even be able to defeat me, but it’s you he’d destroy first»

Her voice had slowly turned into a menacing growl as she spoke.

«Please» the woman said «Save us some time and don’t deny»

Snoke couldn’t even bring himself to speak, let alone deny the truth in her words. He had lost not just the power of the Knights, but also his only hope to regain freedom. The crimson woman had beat him again.

She sighed and shook her head: «You don’t understand, but I’m saying this for you own good, my dear apprentice. If your Skywalker follows his grandfather’s path and finds balance in the Darkness, he will unleash a power you can’t hope to contain. He will crush you, believe me. You can’t handle him, you never will».

He felt it again, the cold stab of envy in his chest.

«If he’s so talented as you say» he snarled «Why do you waste your time with me? Why isn’t _he_ your apprentice?»

The woman laughed and that only made him more angry: «What makes you think I’ll share my plans for him with you?»

Snoke’s stomach twisted nauseated and she leaned more comfortably on the throne.

«I’m thirsty» she said «Bring me a glass of wine, will you, apprentice? A nice red will do»

But he didn’t move; the Supreme Leader stared at her in mute challenge, until he felt her Force grip closing around his neck.

«I said» the woman hissed, her eyes blazing in yellow flames « _I am thirsty_ »

She released him suddenly and Snoke stumbled back, coughing.

«Come on» she encouraged him «It’s not hard»

While a storm of anger raged inside him, Snoke headed for the precious reserve of wine he held in the throne room; as he poured the reddish liquid in a cup, he thought about his master’s words and couldn’t help feeling there was something strange about them. Why indeed didn’t she train Kylo herself, if she knew he would be strong in the Dark Side? Why did she insist to keep him lost and out of balance? An idea started forming inside his head, so inebriating to make his fingers tremble with excitement. Could it be the crimson woman was afraid of Kylo Ren, of what he could become? Yes, Snoke decided, she was. He couldn’t prevent himself from smiling. So he had been right the whole time; the progeny of the Skywalkers was indeed his ticket to freedom. He didn’t care how much it would cost him, or how long it would take: Kylo was going to embrace the Dark Side, even if it was the last thing Snoke did. But first, of course, he’d have to find him.

He brought the full cup to his master and watched as she sipped the wine sitting on his throne. Soon, he promised himself, he would no longer belong to her. Soon he’d be free from her chains.

***

They sat one in front of the other, in silence. Kylo would have preferred his uncle’s expression to be disappointed, or angry, or anything else that wasn’t the calm look of someone ready to listen and, maybe, understand. There was nothing to understand. He knew what he did and he had no intentions to search for airy-fairy reasons to justify it.

«I know you don’t» Luke broke the silence, reading his thoughts like an open book «That’s okay».

It was actually really easy to just let the Skywalker inside his head; words were confusing, he couldn’t choose the right ones, but the stream of his consciousness allowed him to express everything, all at once and in the exact way he felt it.

Luke chuckled: «I’d like you to use words anyway».

Kylo didn’t know where to start.

«From yourself» the Jedi suggested.

Himself? How could he summarize in words what he could barely grasp in emotions?

«I’m lost» he said, eventually. That was close enough.

«I’m shattered and confused» Kylo continued «I thought the path was clear, but now I can’t see the way.»

«You want to leave the Dark Side?»

« _No_ » he said, blunt «It’s the First Order I want to leave behind. It’s poison.»

«I sense a “but” coming.»

Kylo’s smile was sad: «I can’t step out from the Dark Side, _but_ I can’t step out from the Light just as much.»

Luke nodded.

«It’s like I’m stuck in between. Snoke suggested… I thought that finally I could find an answer, I-» he paused «What I did, I will never forgive myself for that»

He hoped his uncle would say something, but the Jedi only stared back, inviting him to continue.

«Luke» Kylo snorted «I don’t know if I can explain, when I don’t understand for start»

«What is it that you want now?» the other asked him.

He thought about it: «I want to do what I should have done from the start. I want to protect who I care about from the First Order; the Knights of Ren, my family and...»

«And the young officer you brought with you» Luke finished for him «If I understand correctly, you deceived him so he’d follow you»

«Yes»

«Can I ask you why?»

A bittersweet swirl of thoughts and memories rose in Kylo’s heart.

«Because I had to» he said «And please, spare me the lecture of how attachment leads to the Dark Side; we already established I don’t care about it»

«I wasn’t going to bring that up» Luke reassured him «Tell me about the Knights; how are they?»

Ren lowered his eyes: «Guideless. I don’t want to let them down, but I’m afraid I have»

«Where are they now?»

«They are hiding until the situation is safe again» he said «But I’m worried about Jiho»

«Anlili»

«The Force has sent me a vision of someone burning and calling my name»

«And are you sure it was her?»

«You saw it» Kylo replied, not very convinced «I couldn't see her face, but she had red hair»

Luke nodded, thoughtfully: «When we look at the future through the Force, it is never clear nor fixed. If I remember correctly, Anlili was the toughest of you all; I’m sure she’s safe»

«Yes, but the only reason they are in danger is because I abandoned them!» he snapped.

Kylo snorted and massaged his temples.

«I need to find my balance again» he said to his old master «They count on me, but I can’t be their leader if I lost my way»

There was a deep sadness in Luke’s eyes; Kylo realized he probably knew all too well how his nephew was feeling.

«They choose you» the old Jedi sighed, with a nostalgic smile «It’s a great burden»

Ren’s jaw tightened: «I’m not here to give it back to you»

The other laughed: «I know, you’re here because you have nowhere else to go; that’s alright»

Luke raised from his seat.

«You should stay for a while» he said, still looking at Kylo «Take your time to think and find your path again».

The Knight nodded: «Thank you, uncle»

The Jedi smiled: «I missed you, Ben. I truly, truly missed you».

***

«I thought you might be hungry»

Hux raised his eyes from the wing of the Vespera he was working on; their escape from the outpost had left the ship with few but not to be underestimated damages: part of the hull had been blown out, leaving the circuits underneath exposed. Luckily they brought some spare parts, which Hux was now using to mend, as much as he could, the Vespera. The former officer looked vaguely at the bowl Rey was offering him and realized he was indeed starving. He couldn’t remember the last time he had something to eat.

«Thank you» he said, accepting the food; the stew was dense and and not exactly tasty, but pleasantly warm.

Hux sat on the grass, his back leaning against the Vespera, and Rey perched on the wing next to him. While he ate, the ginger looked up, in the direction of the first Jedi Temple that loomed over them from the top of the island, where Kylo and Luke disappeared together. Just after their meeting, the old Jedi had left them, dragging his nephew along; Rey stayed with Hux and helped him move the Vespera to the island where the temple rose. They had landed on a grassy field at the bottom of the stairway that climbed its way to the top. After they had got off the shuttle, Hux noticed tracks on the meadow and instantly knew the Vespera wasn’t the first ship to land there; a bigger one had preceded it. However, it seemed to have left weeks before. Their craft was now the only one to occupy the airstrip.

Out of the blu, Rey broke the silence between them.

«The scar on his face» she started, hesitant «Was it me?»

Hux didn’t mince his words: «Yes».

The girl seemed to get paler.

«Actually, I have to congratulate you: if we hadn’t got there in time, Ren would be dead now» the ginger continued «Not everyone would be able to beat him up like that, you should be proud of your skills»

Rey blushed: «I didn’t mean to, I...» she shook her head «I’m not proud of what I did, not at all»

Hux raised an eyebrow, confused: «Why not? You were fighting, wounding is quite normal in these situations».

The girl remained quiet, apparently deeply absorbed in her thoughts.

«Did you really do it?» she asked, a few moments later «Did you betray the First Order?»

Hux grunted: «Ren and his Knights did, I was kidnapped».

He fixed his eyes on her, inquiring.

«You have no idea of who I am, do you?» he wondered.

«Should I?» she replied, wary.

«I am… _Was_ General Armitage Hux, the man who built Starkiller Base and wiped out the Hosnian System».

Rey tensed up and the ginger noticed her hand slipped closer to the lightsaber on her belt; there was something deeply satisfying in her reaction and he couldn’t help grinning.

«You and your friends» he continued «Destroyed the work of a lifetime»

«I hope you don’t expect me to apologise for that» she said, coldly.

He chuckled: «Of course not! This is war, darling, and I happen to know its rules very well»

Hux set aside the bowl, now empty, and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, ready to get back to work.

«Thanks again for the stew» he said, turning his back on her «Oh, and if you see Ren, tell him to leave me the fuck alone, will you?»

Rey jumped down from the wing and picked up the bowl; she nodded in reply, then she took her leave and started to climb the stairs to the temple. She didn’t look back, not even once. Thoughts buzzed frenzied inside her head. Rey didn’t know how to feel about the sudden appearance of Kylo; it was unsettling and strange. It made her think back of their battle in the snow, the one that changed her life forever. Trying to distract herself, Rey counted the steps that separated her from the top. She did it every time the enormity of the last two months threatened to suffocate her; Rey was spinning in a hurl of events she couldn’t predict nor control, but the steps were always the same number, a certainty in the chaos. There were six hundred and eighteen of them. Rey climbed up and counted.

“Five hundred and ninety-eight, five hundred and ninety-nine, six hundred…”

She was so concentrated in the effort not to lose count, that she almost bumped in Kylo, who was descending to the coast. The girl jerked in surprise; she couldn’t help staring at the scar.

«Sorry» he muttered, embarrassed «Have you seen Hux?»

«Yes» the girl answered, regaining control «He says he wants to be alone»

Kylo was visibly sad to hear that; she wasn’t sure if it was for the connection their minds had shared on the Starkiller, but she found it quite easy to read his emotions. That only made things more difficult; it was harder for Rey to hate him when she could understand how he felt. She mumbled an excuse and ran away from him. At the top of the stairs she found Luke waiting for her with a sad smile.

«Ben is staying for a while» he explained.

Rey wasn’t happy: «How can you trust him? What if he’s just playing with you, like he did with Han?»

Luke’s expression hardened: «I have my share of guilt for what happened to his father»

«But-»

«Listen Rey» he interrupted her, taking the girl’s hands into his «My sister was right, there is still light in him and because of this I won’t give up on Ben, just as I didn’t on my own father».

Luke caressed Rey’s cheek: «My dear, this is something I have to do; I won’t throw away this chance to spend some time with him and neither should you»

She stared at him, incredulous. She didn’t want to know him, she didn’t want to get closer to him; he was a monster who killed his own father, how could Luke ask her to spend time with him?

The Jedi seemed to read in her thoughts: «Let go of the hate, Rey; give this chance to you both, please».

She would have insisted and fought, but the girl knew Luke was right. She left the bowl to him and rushed down the stairs, after Kylo.

***

He didn’t get far; Rey spotted him just a few steps lower than where they met. The Knight sat on a rock with his legs crossed and stared intently at the horizon; the girl could feel a deep pain coming from him, like an heavy cloak that covered his shoulders and spread around him. She couldn’t resist the temptation to reach out and touch his mind; Rey closed her eyes, letting Kylo’s thoughts fill the black void behind them; they had the looks of Armitage Hux and tasted bitter but sweet at the same time.

«Please, don’t» Ren said «That’s kinda rude».

Rey blushed and backed off from his mind: «Sorry, but it didn’t seem an issue for you when you did it to me»

He finally turned around; Kylo looked at the girl with an almost amused grin: «The situation was a bit different»

«I guess you’re right» she admitted.

It was hard to avoid staring at the scar; even if she tried might and main to fix on his eyes, her gaze continually fell on the mark crossing his face. The mark she procured him.

She couldn’t bare the silence any longer: «I’m your cousin».

Kylo nodded, thoughtfully: «So it’s true»

«You don’t look surprised» Rey noticed, a bit disappointed.

«Somehow, I’ve always known» he shrugged «Do you get the feeling?»

«Yes» she replied «Yes, I do»

«So, Luke told you?» Kylo inquired.

«Right after I got here»

«Was it… Strange?»

Rey laughed: «Hell, yeah! And - uhm - a bit scary»

«Really?»

«Don’t get me wrong» she precised, right away «I always wanted a family, I just never thought it could be… Well-»

«The messiest one in the Galaxy?»

«Yes»

Kylo chuckled. It was terribly strange to see him like that; Rey almost couldn’t believe that the dark warrior she fought was the same person who stood in front of her now. Her cousin, Ben. Who killed her uncle Han and hurted her only friend.

«Did he tell you why he left you on Jakku?» the Knight continued.

Rey shook her head: «Not quite; he just said I was in danger, that he wanted to protect me from the same people who killed my mother»

«Luke sure does _love_ his secrets, right?» there was genuine resentment in Kylo’s voice and the girl couldn’t help feeling it too.

After Luke had told her the truth, it had took her a while to stomach it; she had been angry at him, for abandoning her, for abandoning the whole Galaxy and running away. She had cried and screamed, until her throat was sore and her head spinned, but slowly she had managed to forgive him; she was so desperate for her father that she decided to let go of any resentment. Rey wondered if she’d be ever able to do the same with her cousin.

«Let me guess» he added, in the meantime «He didn’t even tell you who your mother was»

She smiled, triumphant: «You’re wrong: my mom was called Rahenna and she came from Naboo»

Kylo looked surprised: «Just as our grandmother»

«I guess» she conceded «He told me she was a Jedi as well»

Her cousin stared at her in silence: «Listen» he said, eventually «You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to, even if Luke asked you. Actually, you should do only what you feel right to do; don’t let anyone tell you what you are supposed to choose»

«Did you choose to kill Han?»

Rey regretted those words as soon as they slipped from her mouth. Wary, she reached for her lightsaber, preparing to deal with any kind of attack from Kylo, but instead of a rage outburst his only reaction was a bitter sadness that fell like a dark veil on his eyes and extinguished the fire in them.

«I did» he admitted, with a snort «I guess that makes you right: I _am_ a monster and for that I've only got myself to blame.»

In that moment, Rey was sorry for him. For minutes that seemed ages, all they did was gazing silently at the sea, listening to the wind and the undertow, both of them trapped in an ocean of regrets and words too painful to be spoken.

«Would you like to spar?» she asked, suddenly «I mean, with me»

Kylo wasn’t expecting it: «Sparring, you and I?»

The girl nodded: «I’ve only done it with Luke lately and I’m getting used to his style, I’d like to change partner»

Ren managed to smile: «Sure».

***

Very well, moment of truth. He took a deep breath, then Hux switched on the engines of the Vespera; the low roar that filled his ears sounded like music. He did a quick check of the readings on the computer monitor, but it really seemed like the old carcass was alive and healthy once again. At least as healthy as the Vespera could be. Armitage laid back on the pilot seat and finally allowed himself to relax. One issue solved. He snorted. Countless issues still to go.

«What the hell am I gonna do?» he muttered, staring at the metallic roof above him.

He was so tired he didn’t know how to feel. Was he still angry? Yes, he resolved, he definitely was. He would have gladly punched Ren in the face, maybe even in other parts of his body, but rationally he and the two Jedi were now the only chances for his survival. Kylo had really thought of every detail when he was setting his trap for Hux; the former General would have never believed he had such a sneaky intelligence in him. Bloody punk bitch. And still, Armitage couldn't explain _why_ he deceived him like that; certainly it couldn’t be for that stupid excuse he had tried to fob Hux off with.

 _I didn’t want to leave you behind_.

No, it just didn’t hold itself together. It would, if Kylo had cared about him, but he didn’t. Didn’t he?

“What if he does?”

Something twisted inside him, a burning feeling coming back on the surface from the depths where he had tried to hold it. What if Kylo did actually care about him? His rebellious heart pounded fast, forming dangerous cracks in the icy armor around it. What if what happened between them that night, while he was drunk, hadn’t been just some madness caused by the alcohol? What if Kylo had really wanted to kiss him, to make love with him? Hux’s head spinned. No, come on, it just couldn’t be. It was impossible. Or maybe not?

Armitage gazed outside the window; he could see the stairway that lead to the top of the island, to Kylo Ren. If only he could find the courage to climb it and reach him, if only he had the guts to ask him what he wanted to know… After all, Armitage had nothing to lose.

He left the cabin of the Vespera and found himself once again on the grassy airstrip; the first step was right in front of him. Armitage was about to get going, when something in the corner of his eyes captured him and froze him on the spot: there seemed to be a flashing red light leaking from underneath the ship’s belly. He had noticed nothing like that while he was repairing it. A chill of dread ran down his spine.

“No” he thought in horror “It can’t be”.

With a growing sense of nausea, Hux crouched to look at the lower part of the Vespera’s hull. His heart sank: gasping on the metal with steel claws, a First Order spy droid gazed back at him with its crimson eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course shit happened. Please, have a drink while we slowly descend to Hell <3 
> 
> In the meantime, Valeria has got a beautiful piece of kylux art to cheer us up:
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Aren't they cute? **


	8. Parting of Ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Hux lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Officially the longer chapter I have wrote till now

 

The cybernetic eye stared right at Hux’s face, illuminating it with its crimson, mocking glow. The former officer felt just like blood had turned into ice inside his veins. Around him, the world had fallen silent; the only sound he could hear, as panic filled him, was the thunderous beating of his heart, growing each moment louder and faster. His very mind was frozen. He couldn't formulate any kind of thought, apart from the terrible certainty that the First Order had found them and they were probably on their way in that very moment. They were doomed. Snoke was likely sending the whole army to capture them and there was no way they could face such an assault. All of them would fall into the hand of the First Order. Hux shivered. He knew what kind of fate waited for him; a public execution, so that he could be an example for whomever desired to betray Snoke. His body would hang in the Capital’s main square, right in front of the Supreme Leader’s palace. With a growing sense of nausea, the ginger stepped back from the cruel light of the droid; he only managed to make a few steps, before he was forced to throw up. Armitage fell on his knees, panting and clawing the soft grass of the landing field. He refused his life to end like this, it just couldn’t be, not after all his efforts. He always felt like his destiny was to rule the Galaxy, instead all he was going to get would be a noose; that couldn’t be fair and he wouldn’t allow it to be. He rose and cleaned his mouth from the vomit; Hux had just decided he was going to die, rather than endure such an humiliation. He had his blaster and that was all he needed; he would face his enemies, take down with him as many as he could and shoot himself before it was too late.

The former General was ready to meet his end, but then his eyes fell on the stairway that led to the Jedi Temple and he realized he’d forgotten about Kylo. The fear he had felt for himself was nothing compared to the dread that clinched to his heart - that treacherous piece of flesh - when he thought of Ren’s destiny. He couldn’t know what exactly Snoke had reserved for the Knight, but it would surely be a fate far worse than hanging; if the First Order had found Kylo, they would have killed him slowly, tortured him for the rest of his life and he knew Snoke’s gaolers were able to keep a prisoner alive and conscious even for years, while they tore him apart. The pain those thoughts provoked him awoke the proud, angry part of Hux, the one suggesting him that Kylo deserved it all, that Armitage should have been all but happy that the man who ruined him would have died in the most brutal way; yet, no matter how much he tried to convince himself of that, the former officer still couldn’t bear the very thought of it. He cared too much for Kylo, even if he wasn’t sure the Knight felt the same about him. Suddenly an idea started forming in his mind: maybe there was a way to save at least Ren; if he could fly the Vespera far away from the planet, divert the First Order and have them chasing only Hux… Then Kylo would be safe. The irony, Armitage thought: for his whole life he had never hesitated to sacrifice even people close to him, if that somehow benefited his career, but now he was willing to put his own life at risk to save Ren’s. Emotions truly were poison, but at least they were a sweet one.

Hux started climbing the stairway, two steps at the time, despite the nausea that made his head spin. It wouldn’t be so hard, he repeated himself as he approached the top; if Kylo truly didn’t care about him, it was going to be far too easy to leave.

***

«Catch!»

Rey tossed one of the wooden staffs she held in her hands towards Kylo, who easily grabbed it mid-air. The Knight examined it and a chuckle slipped from his lips.

«What is it?» the girl asked him.

He shook his head: «I haven’t used one of these since I was twelve»

«I began two months ago» she replied, taking off her jacket and moving towards the center of the ring, a circle of well-trod soil marked by rocks covered in lichen.

Kylo stripped as well, keeping only his boots and trousers. Without the black shirt to cover it, Rey could observe the sinewy musculature of his body; the Knight was lean but well fit, with solid shoulders and a visible eight-pack; his torso and back, however, were covered in scars. The girl spotted right away the one Chewie’s bowcaster left him, a wide pale mark on his left side; that was the most striking one, along with the long cut on the right shoulder, which continued the one on his face. Others, smaller scars were scattered on his skin. It was the body of a seasoned fighter and Rey wondered, shaken, if even she was gonna end up looking like that, one day.

«Just swords, no Force?» her cousin asked, spinning the training staff around to get the feeling of it.

«No Force» Rey confirmed and set on guard position, with both her hands firm on the hilt. Kylo, on the contrary, held his staff with a single hand.

They circled around, making slow, wary steps while they studied each other. The girl kept her weapon high, he pointed it on the ground, apparently relaxed and off guard.

«I warn you» he said, with a grin «It won’t be so easy this time».

Fast as lightning, Kylo jerked forward to attack.

***

Snoke didn’t like to be disturbed while he was meditating: «I hope for your sake that this is as important as you say, Mitaka» the Supreme Leader hissed.

Each moment he spent taking care of trifles was one more moment of Ren missing, one more of ownership, one more to delay his freedom. He had to focus his energies on finding the Knight; Snoke couldn’t afford any distraction.

«If I may, sir» the young officer replied «I think we are about to receive some very good news»

The Supreme Leader had his doubts.

He snorted and waved his hand: «Fine, let this Lieutenant Rikk in».

***

«Skywalker!»

Luke turned around to see Armitage running up the stairs: «Oh, Mr. Hux, nice to see you again. How’s your ship?»

The former officer stopped in front of him, short of breath.

«Where’s Ren?» he asked, ignoring the Jedi’s question.

Sensing something was wrong, Luke pointed him at the temple above them: «He’s with Rey; come, I’ll show you».

***

The chubby woman who introduced herself as Lieutenant Rikk excessively bowed in front of Snoke; if that wasn’t enough to make the Supreme Leader despise her, the thick aura of smarminess and greed that came from her did the rest.

«My liege» she greeted him, with a sticky smile «I’m here to talk about the reward for the capture of Armitage Hux and Kylo Ren»

Snoke’s heart skipped a beat.

***

The staff hit her on the back and Rey fell on the ground once again, panting from the strain of the fight. Kylo was _damn_ _strong_ , she thought, trying to get back on her feet; he attacked swiftly and parried with a certainty the girl was finding hard to process; his blows came unpredictably and always found their way through her guard.  

«How did I beat you again?» she asked, swiping the sweat away from her forehead.

Kylo spinned the staff around once more; he did a lot of that and rarely held the grip with more that one hand. It was a fighting style very different from the one Luke was teaching her and the girl was somewhat fascinated by its diversity.

«I was badly wounded» he explained, plainly «Emotionally compromised and didn’t expect you to fight back like that, do I need to go on?»

«No, that’s fine» the girl said as she put her guard up once again «Another round?»

«Aren’t you tired?»

«Just one more» she insisted.

Rey was helplessly tired, but it was a satisfying kind of weariness; sparring with him was a continuous challenge, it made her yearn for more. Kylo indulged her and they faced each other again; it took only a couple of blows for Rey to lose her staff and fall on the ground, but this time she found her cousin’s hand offering her help to stand up. Unable to stop a smile from appearing on her face, the young Skywalker accepted it. As she shook the dirt off her clothes, Rey catched a glimpse of Kylo staring intently at her.

«Did you use to fight with a longer weapon?» he eventually inquired «Like a spear or a staff?»

«Yes» she said, surprised «Why do you ask?»

«The way you move; sometimes you do this thing with your legs, like you were preparing to hit me with the back end of your weapon, but you stop halfway, as if you remembered at the last minute it doesn’t exist» Kylo explained, mimicking the movement to show her.

Rey nodded: «I used a staff I built, but Luke says I should learn how to fight with a lightsaber»

«Actually, there are many kinds of lightsabers; double-bladed, pikes… One of my Knights uses a spear with a laser point and it’s quite effective».

Suddenly Kylo seemed embarrassed. He blushed and stared at his feet.

«Maybe I could - I mean, if you want» he muttered «Maybe I could build a weapon for you, something you’d feel more comfortable with. I’m quite good at it»

«Really?»

«Yeah, I made them for all the Knights»

Rey was a bit skeptical: «Even your own lightsaber?»

«What’s wrong with my lightsaber?» he frowned, grumpy.

The girl didn’t know how to put it: «It doesn’t look exactly reliable; it seems like it’s about to explode in your hand»

«That’s the crystal’s fault» Kylo defended himself «It’s damaged, the other sabers I built aren’t like this»

«Then why don’t you change it?»

He shrugged: «I’m attached to it».

Rey thought he wouldn’t add anything else, but Kylo confessed: «And the crystal is from our grandfather’s lightsaber»

«Oh» the girl should have seen that coming.

«Anyway» he continued «I like it the way it is, even if it could actually blow off in my face, sooner or later»

«I’d love to see that» A new voice came from behind their backs and made them both turn; Hux and Luke had just reached the field.

Kylo’s heart burst at the sight of the former officer; he seemed to have regained his sarcasm, which the Knight regarded as a good sign, but when they got closer he realized that both Armitage and the Jedi had a grim expression on their faces.

«Hux» Kylo called him, trying to ease the atmosphere «I think you already met my cousin, Rey»

The ginger took a quick, distracted look at her, before fixing his eyes on him once again.

«We need to talk» Armitage said, with an urgency Kylo had rarely heard from him.

Ren looked at his uncle, who nodded in mute reply; Luke called Rey and they swiftly left the ring. Before disappearing inside the temple, the girl shot one last glance at her cousin and the man beside him; they were so different and yet, she realized, so drawn towards each other; Rey wondered if they were actually aware of the tension between them.

Hux waited for them to be completely alone to speak again.

«Your cousin, hey?» he said bitterly «So this was you real plan, running back to you family like a prodigal son»

«I didn’t have an actual plan» Kylo replied «And yes, I lied to you: I had no intentions of killing my uncle or coming back to the First Order, but you’d have never come with me if you had known my real intentions»

Hux snorted: «You bet!»

Kylo had the decency to look sheepish: «It is my plan now to stay with them, here, for as long as it takes».

Timidly, Kylo raised his hand to touch the ginger’s arm. It was the first time he touched Hux this way without being drunk, a gentle but firm grip; something whirled within the former officer and left him breathless, a painful lump forming in his throat. He would have liked to return the touch, to caress his cheekbone as he did on the Vespera, while Kylo was asleep. He wanted to embrace him and hold him close, while he got drunk on the feeling of _him_. Hux desired him so much it hurt.

The Knight looked him straight in the eyes: «I know I can’t expect you to trust me, or presume to keep you here against your will, but I’d be… glad if we could make our plans for the near future coincide, at least for a while»

His heart sank. So it was true: Kylo _did_ care. It felt like being stabbed right into the chest and the pain was so much Hux could barely stand it. It would have been so easy if Ren hadn’t touched him, if he had just sent him away, hurt him; instead, now what the ginger had to do seemed almost impossible. But there was no other choice; he had to do it, for himself and for Kylo. Mostly to protect Kylo.  

Feeling dead inside, Armitage took a deep breath and said: «I think your plan will be splitting from mine».

***

Thrill ran under Snoke’s skin like an electric shock as Lieutenant Rikk carried on with her tale.

«… They managed to jump to hyperspeed, unfortunately, otherwise I would have delivered them to you already» the cubby officer said, unctuously «But worry not, my Lord: one of my TIE fighters managed to attach a spy droid to their ship, during the chase»

Rikk smiled, enjoying every single moment of her triumph: «We are tracking them as we speak, Supreme Leader».

Careful not to let any emotion slip away, Snoke showed the Lieutenant only a thin, satisfied grin. Inside him, yet, a storm of joy and bloodlust raged.

«If these information indeed led to their capture, you’ll have your reward» he assured the officer and gestured her to take her leave. She bowed once again before exiting the throne room.

When Snoke was finally alone, he let it all out; he laughed so much he couldn’t breathe anymore, but it was worth it, it really was, because now freedom was once again at his reach. He would be more careful this time, a plan was already forming inside his head; if the father wasn’t enough, then Snoke would find what Kylo truly loved the most and crush it in front of him. He could already picture the Knight’s eyes turning gold and the Darkness flowing through his veins like blood; Kylo Ren was going to be one with the Dark Side, great and terrible just like his grandfather, and he would belong to Snoke and no one else. The crimson woman would tremble and beg, then she would die.

***

Hux inspected the Vespera one last time, but he already knew everything was ready for the take off; he was only delaying, trying to buy a little time in the impossible hope to find another solution. The sun was going down on the planet of Ahch-To and its dying light painted the sea of red and gold, making it look like an ocean of roaring fire. The former officer had to hurry up if he wanted to leave before nightfall.

«Please, don’t go»

Armitage never knew how he found the courage to turn around and face Kylo, when he was so afraid that just the sight of him could make him change his mind and therefore condemn them both. The Knight came closer to him.

«There has to be another way» he continued «You don’t have to leave».

Hux shook his head: «Have you seen that droid? It’s _transmitting_ , Ren, it’s beaming our position across the Galaxy, all the way to Snoke. The First Order could arrive in a matter of hours, or even less»

«Isn’t it enough to destroy it?»

«You really are as stupid as you seem» the ginger snarled «If we smashed it, they’d go to the last point from where the signal was launched, _here_ , and they’d know we are expecting them»

But Kylo didn’t give up: «We can fight»

«Four of us against Hell knows how many stormtroopers?» he let a sharp chuckle slip from his lips «Hilarious»

«Three of us are trained to use the Force» the Knight insited.

Hux could already picture that: a desperate battle, just a bunch of people challenging the greatest army in the Galaxy, in a hopeless attempt to survive. They would have died together. Maybe, before it was all over, Hux would have found the strength to confess his feelings to Kylo. Or perhaps, after taking a bullet for him, they’d have told each other what remained to be said while they bled out. He supposed they would have hugged and even kissed - why not? - as they died. Wouldn’t that be romantic? It seemed like good material for an opera; sadly life was no theater and, once the curtain had fallen, it would have never risen again to allow the actors to receive the public's applause. Hux knew death very well and found nothing romantic in a worthless battle. A life thrown away like this was just a wasted one for the former General.

«The best we can do» he told Kylo «Is bring the Vespera far away from here and throw them off the scent of Skywalker»

«But why does it have to be you?» the other replied, desperate «I can do it just as well, I’m not afraid of the First Order»

Of course he wasn’t, but on the other hand Hux was _terrified_ about what Snoke could do to Kylo if he were to fall into his claws once again; the Supreme Leader had never been soft with traitors. The ginger would have preferred to avoid it, but he seemed to have no other choice: if he wanted Ren to let him go, Hux had to hurt him.

«Actually this problem really comes in handy» the former officer said, coldly.

Kylo flinched: «What do you mean?»

«I mean,» he lied «That now I don’t have to find some pathetic excuse to get as far away from you as I can»

When the other turned paler, Hux knew it worked.

«You can’t be serious» Kylo mumbled, incredulous.

The ginger laughed, cruelly: «I _can’t_? Really? Think about it, Ren, why should I want to share your company any longer, after you lied to me, betrayed me and turned the work of my lifetime into ashes?»

The Knight stood silent, unable to reply.

«Now, that’s more like it» Hux said «Believe me, I can’t wait to be _finally_ on my own»

He tried to turn away, but Kylo grabbed him by the wrist and forced him to look at him again, no matter how hard the ginger tried to pull back.

«Don’t do it» Ren begged «You have only enemies out there, you’ll be dead if someone catches you!»

«And who do I have to thank for that?» Hux replied with a low growl.

He managed to free himself for the grip of Kylo’s hand, but Armitage was still chained to his eyes, those sad, black pits that begged him to stay. Not answering their plea was the greatest challenge the former officer had ever faced.

«At least come back» Kylo continued «Get rid of that droid somewhere in space and return; we can protect you, you’ll be safe until we figure out what to do»

«What future could you possibly offer me?» he snarled «As you so pointedly remarked, I only have enemies. Maybe you can convince the Resistance to let me live, but then what? I’d spend the rest of my days in a prison and, frankly Ren, I’d rather die a free man than grow old in chains»

Kylo shook his head: «It doesn’t have to end like that! I can tell my mother we are friends, that you helped me escape from the First Order-»

«And pretend that I betrayed everything I believed in?» he replied «Not a chance»

«Hux, please» Ren’s voice trembled as he made a last, desperate effort to convince him «Why can’t you stay?»

Something started to crumble inside Armitage.

«Because…» he muttered.

“Because if I stay I will end up either killing you or kissing you and I can't decide which one scares me the most, right now”

«Because you ruined my life, Ren» Hux said, in the end «And I am _not_ your friend»

He didn’t know what hurt the most: pronouncing those words in the coldest way he could manage and seeing Kylo shattered by them, or fighting against the urge to run into his arms and tell him he was never going to leave him, because he… Hux had already accepted the truth of his feelings, but it was still hard to formulate _that_ thought and impossible to say it out loud.

«Goodbye, Ren» he told him, between his teeth «I hope you find whatever it is that you’re looking for»

«I thought I did»

That was too much, even for Hux’s determination. He had to turn away quickly and run to the Vespera to prevent himself from cracking. The ginger closed the hatch behind him and rushed to the cockpit, his heart screaming and shattering inside the chest, each pulse begging him to go back outside, to Kylo. But it was to protect him that he was leaving, Hux reminded himself as the engines came to life with a roar. The Vespera raised into the evening air. Outside the window, Armitage could still catch a glimpse of the Knight watching his departure, his pale skin painted by the sunset; the former officer knew the odds to see him again were but a few. Only when he was far beyond the atmosphere and launched the Vespera to hyperspeed, Hux allowed himself to let out the pain that was consuming him in a long, tearing scream.

***

«Everything is ready, Captain»

Phasma nodded: «Have you locked the signal?»

«They can’t escape us»

«Good»

None of the other soldiers on the bridge could have ever imagined that, underneath the fixed expression of her helmet, Phasma hated what she was about to do; at least, she said to herself, she now had the power to make sure they both returned to the Capital alive, and life, unlike death, was full of possibilities.

«Let’s go get them» she ordered.

The stars turned into strips of light as the Finalizer reached the hyperspace.

***

When Rey descended to the coast, she found Kylo still in the middle of the empty landing field, looking into the vastness of sea and stars that opened up in front of him. She approached him and sat at his side, in silence.

«He’s gone» he muttered, eventually.

«I’m sorry» Rey said and she really meant it.

Kylo shrugged: «He was right, I did him wrong; I don’t know why I hoped he would have stayed with me».

It wasn’t pity what the girl felt for her cousin, she knew him well enough to understand he wouldn’t have appreciated it, just the same as her when she was an anonymous scavenger on Jakku and not Rey Skywalker. The girl found herself thinking that maybe she and Kylo weren’t so different, after all: she saw in him the same loneliness that used to accompany her through the desert, the same longing to find a path, a reason to be. And this didn’t bother her as much as she thought it would have.

«Why did you bring him with you?» she asked Kylo.

For a while, the Knight didn’t answer: «I knew what was going to happen, when I betrayed the First Order» he finally said «Snoke would have hunt us down, with every mean necessary, and the Knights would have defended themselves»

Kylo paused and sighed: «I couldn’t bear the thought of him as an enemy; I didn’t want to find myself in a situation where I had to choose between dying or taking Hux’s life. I wanted… I wanted to keep him close. The First Order has been nothing but poison, except for him. He wasn’t.»

Suddenly, Ren bursted in a sharp, bitter laugh.

«Well, take a look!» he giggled «A monster with feelings, how many times have you seen it?»

Hearing those words, Rey’s heart sank: «I don’t think you’re a monster»

She felt tears prickling behind her eyes.

«And even if you were, I am too» she confessed «When we fought in the snow, I wanted to kill you. I would have killed you if it weren’t for the crack that separated us».

Rey turned and realized Kylo was looking intensly at her, suddenly wary.

«I’m sorry for what I did» she continued, gazing at his scar «And I’m afraid of what I could have done»

The Knight nodded: «Then we could say the crack saved us both» Kylo rested his hand upon her shoulder, a serious expression on his face «Rey, you are my cousin and one day I hope we’ll be a family, but don’t mistake this: you are no monster, nor you’ll ever be. I chose the Darkness willingly and I did horrible things, thinking they would make me stronger. Don’t ever forget it, even if you were ever able to forgive me. Okay?»

The girl was struck by Kylo’s tone, which felt like it was an older brother reassuring her. Not that she had ever had an older brother, but she could imagine he would sound the same way.

She nodded: «Okay»

«But first of all» he warned her «You should forgive yourself, you did nothing wrong»

«I’ll try» she replied, not very convinced.

«An old Jedi master once said: “Do or do not, there is no try”» Kylo insisted.

«Did you forgive yourself?»

Ren shook his head: «No» he admitted «But you could learn a thing or two from someone who never learned»

***

Hux sat motionless in the cockpit for what seemed like ages. After the pain had worn out, a cold numbness had fallen upon him, anesthetizing every inch of his body; he had barely found the strength to curl up on the pilot seat, trying to warm himself, but nothing more. Fear loomed over him. Hux had never cared about fear; fear keeps you from making mistakes, it helps you win your enemies. Fear was a friend he used to trust, but this was of a different kind, one he’d never experienced before: he was afraid to die without ever seeing Kylo again. Part of him already accepted this as a certainty, the other still insisted on hoping.

As the hours went by, Armitage found himself in a constant half-sleep, where shattered dreams kept him company; the former officer let his fantasies cradle him, distracting him from the unbearable silence of the cabin. He imagined to find a quiet, remote planet, a safe haven where he could rest and wait for Kylo to come and find him. It would be a long, hard waiting, but one day Hux would have woken up, feeling like it was just another, identical day; he would have got out for a stroll and suddenly he’d have seen him. Kylo would have stared right at him, in silence, but with a smile on his face. They would have looked in each other’s eyes, unsure of what to say first. Eventually, Ren would have stepped forward and caressed Hux’s cheekbone.

«You know» Kylo would have said «I never believed you when you told me you hated me»

Then, the former General would have rested his hand on the Knight’s and replied: «And you never should have»

Hux would have passed his hand through his hair, like he did on the Vespera, and drawn Kylo to his lips, kissing him until the universe had fallen silent around them. And when they’d have separated and rested panting forehead against forehead, he would have heard Ren whisper.

«I love you»

He could already picture his breath being taken away.

Hux would have chuckled and answered: «I know, I-»

A sudden, beeping sound shook Armitage away from his dreams. He opened his eyes with difficulty and gazed at the window in front of him; the stars had come back to be fixed white dots in the black page of the universe. The Vespera had dropped the hyperdrive. Hux snorted, bitterly, and forced himself to sit straight; he consulted the computer screen, checking his position on the map. He had ventured to the limits of the Galaxy and only the Wild Space laid ahead, a empty, silent area that few dared to visit. It was barely mapped, so Hux couldn’t risk making too long jumps; from that moment on, he’d have to proceed a few parsecs at the time and with extreme care if he wanted to avoid ending up in the middle of a nebula storm or worse. At least, it was the perfect place to vanish. All he had to do was get rid of the spy droid and find a place to hide until the waters were calm again. Or until Kylo found him. Hux instantly suffocated that thought; before he left, he had hurt him and badly, how could he expect the Knight to look for him again?

He grabbed a sheet of paper and a calculator and started running some numbers to prepare the next jump. Maybe he could have come back, he thought while scribbling; as soon as it felt safe enough, he could have stormed into the Resistance base, looking for Kylo. He didn’t have to tell them who he was, at first, maybe he could grow a beard and reveal himself only when he was in front of the Knight. Yes, terrific idea, wasn’t it? Of course it wasn’t, he had to admit, depressed. Hux finished his calculations, took a break to eat some of the provisions Luke and Rey provided him, then made the Vespera jump again, straight into the Wild Space.

“What if” the former officer pondered “I go to Coruscant? Anyone can disappear down there, I can make myself a new life and then search for Kylo”

He could smuggle weapons or work as an hired gun, maybe open a restaurant… Suddenly the beard wasn’t anymore the worst plan he had come up with. Hux grabbed his head in his hands and grumbled loudly. He had to forget about Kylo, the only problem he needed to focus on, right now, was how to save his own skin. While he travelled, the droid was still beaming his position to the First Order and he knew he was very lucky that no one had caught up on him yet, but destiny could turn against him any second.

This time, the Vespera remained in the hyperspace only for a couple of hours. The engines rumbled as the ship slowed down; the view outside the window was exactly the same as before the jump: black, cold nothingness choking the light out of the few stars that dared to challenge it. Hux wasn’t sure of how long he could keep roaming this way without going mad. He laid back in his seat, humming softly to break the nerve-wracking silence. At the Academy, they used to warn them about the hazards of long, solo flights in the endless night of the outer space; often, it wasn’t lack of food or external threats that put the pilot’s life at jeopardy, but monotony and lack of human contact, two unpredictable, invisible enemies which had lead to his end more than one valiant man. Hux, always a solitary boy, had found nothing scary in being on his own and thought of that advice as bullshit; now, alone and on the run, the former officer was starting to see the truth in it. Shivering, he wondered what would catch him first: madness or the First Order.

Hux realized he was about to panic. He rummaged in the pockets of his coat until he found his cigarettes; when he opened the package, he discovered, desperate, that he only had one smoke left. Among the reasons he wanted to stop at the outpost, Armitage remembered, there had been also the end of his tobacco supply. The day his world collapsed around him felt like ages before. Trembling, the ginger rolled his last smoke and lit it, inhaling deeply; the warmness that filled his throat and lungs helped him relax a bit, till he realized he hadn’t start the calculations for the hyperdrive yet. An icy grip closed around his stomach; the longer he stayed in one place, the closer the Order would get, but smoking was so pleasant and Hux really needed time before get going again. He could wait until the cigarette was finished.

“Bad idea” suggested a voice in the back of his mind.

«I don’t care» Hux muttered, between his teeth.

Was talking to himself the first sign of his growing insanity? Armitage never got the chance to verify it: a sharp alarm sounded, so high it deafened him, and the whole ship started shaking violently. Hux jumped on his seat and quickly checked the computer to see was the hell was going on. According to the readings, something had just dropped from the hyperdrive near him. A very big something. As a shiver of horror ran down his spine, the former officer glanced outside the window; the stars were gone, covered by the dark shadow of an enormous Star Destroyer. When it came closer, Hux recognized his Finalizer. He suddenly felt sick. They found him and they were chasing him using his faithful cruiser. The first instinct to reach for the controls and run was abandoned as soon as Hux realized why the Vespera was shaking so much: the war ship had already got him in the claws of its tractor beam. He was caught.

Armitage jerked up on his feet and ran to the cargo holding. The former officer was no fool: he knew it was impossible to escape, but he was determined not the fall in the Order’s hands alive! Hidden in his luggage, he found what he was looking for; blasters and ammunitions, grenades, a knife for hand-to-hand combat and a small, white capsule. Cyanide. Hux’s fist closed around it. He packed the weapons and inserted the poison in place of a false molar in the back of his mouth; many officers kept capsules like that, but this was the first time Hux actually thought of using it: he always had the certainty his life wouldn’t have ended up this way. But there he was, ready to finish it. Knowing he didn’t have much time, Armitage went to the hatch of the Vespera and began to arrange the explosives around the entrance; when they broke in, the stormtroopers would have found a nasty surprise. As soon as the grenades were in place, ready to blow, Hux retreated to the back of the corridor and hid behind a corner, the blaster in his right hand and the remote controlling the bombs in the left. The ship kept shaking and rocking under the influence of the tractor beam; it was only matter of minutes before the Vespera reached the main hangar of the Finalizer, Hux calculated, and the attack began. Only a matter of minutes. The length of what remained of his life. The ginger felt sick and couldn’t help shivering. His worst fear was coming true: he was about to die and Kylo would have never known how much he cared about him. He wished he was there, or that he could somehow reach to him before it was too late. But Hux was alone.

«Ren» he mumbled leaning against the steel wall «You bloody bastard»

Suddenly as it began, the Vespera stopped vibrating and remained still. Blood froze into Armitage's veins: it was time. He held the remote tighter in his grip and waited, his heart thundering in his chest. Every inch of him desperately wanted to live. It didn’t take long; first, he heard bangs at the other side of the hatch, the eerie hiss of a laser cutting through the metal.

«Come on» Hux growled, an arrogant grin on his face «Come on, let’s see what you’ve got»

From where he was, he couldn’t see the hatch melting; he could only hear it, as the hiss became louder, sharper, like nails scratching on a blackboard. A mixture of fear and excitement pumped in his chest. There was something inebriating in the expectation for his last battle and Hux found himself craving for it; he wanted the waiting to be over, he was impatient for the enemies to attack. He longed to taste their blood. It would have been the last thing he’d savored before the end.

At last, he heard the hatch howling and crash on the floor, like a enormous, deafening gong, ringing the start of the final round. Confused voices of soldiers broke in the concert.

«Don’t hesitate, there’s only two of them!»

Hux grinned, adrenaline running wild through his blood.

«Actually, only one»

He pressed the button of the remote. The roar of the explosion was barely enough to cover the screams of its victims; they sounded like music to Armitage’s ears. He gave a quick glance behind the corner and through the smoke and the fire he was able to see the pile of shattered armors. The stench of burned blood filled the carbonized corridor of the Vespera. But that was just the beginning. Climbing over the corpses of their fellow soldiers, other troopers entered the ship shouting, and ran fast in his direction. Hux knew he had to retreat. He pulled back, but not before he had launched another grenade behind his back; new screams followed the blast. The former officer found a new corner where to take cover and there he waited, checking the charge of his blaster. The corridor formed a bottleneck just before his refuge, giving him the opportunity to fight only a few enemies at the time. Hux had the upper hand; they might get him, in the end, but first he’d make them pay the highest tool he could manage.

Shouts and heavy, metallic steps. They were coming. Hux stuck out the corner, blaster in his hand, and shot. The first stormtrooper cried and fell to the ground, motionless; behind him, the second one aimed his weapon at Armitage, but he had already got back to cover. When the private saw his target again, he didn’t even have the time to raise his gun; Hux hit him right beneath the helmet, tearing his throat apart. The soldiers, forced by the shape of the corridor to attack in single file, piled up one by one, massacred by the ginger’s precise shots. Hux was laughing. Every stormtrooper he killed was one more minute of time to live. Borrowed time, _stolen_ time even, but still it was one more breath.

Armitage tried to gaze once again at the corridor, but a sudden explosion near him made him pull back. They were using grenades as well. Hux checked himself, but apart from an annoying bruise above his left eye, which was bleeding enough to blind it, he wasn’t wounded. Hux rubbed the blood away from his eyelid and decided to retreat further inside the ship. Shooting to cover his escape, Hux run down the corridor; lasers bruised the walls around him. Not long ago, he would have scolded his troops for the unacceptable lack of precision they were showing, but now he was really happy about it.

“How ironic” he thought, shooting down another private.

A lucky shot got him on his right hand; Hux grunted, losing his grip on the blaster. A stormtrooper came rushing in his direction, but the ginger was not yet beaten; he draw the knife from its scabbard and met the enemy while he was still running, sinking the blade in the soft joints of his armor, one, two, three times until the plate was no longer white, but crimson red. Hux hands trembled as he stepped back from the corpse; the sleeves of his shirt were now slippery with blood, but he managed to recover the blaster before retreating. He had to find a refuge quickly, to recharge his weapon and hopefully stay alive a little longer. Hux ran around a corner, but before he was out of range another laser shot reached him and left a painful scratch on his ankle. He was running out of time. Bleeding and panting, Armitage threw himself in the first room he could find, but when he tried to lock the door he realized that half of it had already been cut down by a laser; puzzled, he gave a longer look at the cabin.

A bittersweet sting of pain reached him when he recognized what used to be Kylo’s room. It was empty now, the Knight had unloaded all of his luggage before Hux left; only two things remained: a small night stand and the bed. Armitage wasn’t very sure if he should laugh or cry. He was going to die in the same room where Kylo had kissed him, where they had almost made love; that thought was both excruciating, because of all that could have been yet never was, and reassuring, because what better place than this to be his last?

The broken door was not going to last for long. Hearing the enemies getting closer, Hux prepared his blaster and checked the position of the cyanide capsule with his tongue. The room was a dead end, he could no longer run. He couldn’t help a lump forming in his throat. Armitage didn’t believe in any kind of god, because he never accepted that something rather than himself could have power over his destiny. Knowing Kylo, he had been obliged to acknowledge the existence of the Force and right now he hoped, with all his heart, that his last message could find the Knight through it.

«So, if you truly exist» Hux muttered as the shouts came closer «Tell him I thought about him while I died. Tell him that I never wanted to hurt him. And tell him…  Tell him-»

The ginger sighed: «Oh, he knows».

If the Force answered him, Hux never knew. Suddenly, the roar of a blast came from the door; as if time had slowed down, Hux watched the entrance being torn apart by the heat, before the explosion hit him as well, on his left side. The impact was terrifying. For moments the seemed like a lifetime, Hux was left deaf and blind; all he could smell or taste was blood. Blood filled his nostrils. Blood in his mouth. He was numb, too shocked to feel anything, but not for long; pain came all together, fierce, piercing pain, so much he couldn’t feel his limbs anymore. Hux’s world was only agony, darkness and blood. With tremendous effort, he managed to half-close his eyes; his sight was blurry, but he could recognise the floor of the room where he laid, covered in metallic remains and a growing red puddle of his own blood.

“This is it” he thought, exhausted “This is how I die”

A familiar voice echoed in the distance: « _Idiots_ , I told you we have to get him alive!»

“Phasma” he recognized her.

Hux had to break the capsule, he wouldn’t allow them even the slightest chance of getting him alive. But he found, in a surge of horror, that he couldn’t move his jaw.

“No” he panicked, trying again and again “No no _no_!”

But no matter how much he struggled, his muscles wouldn’t move and he was beginning to fade. Before he blacked out, Phasma’s voice reached him once again.

«General?» the Captain called him from far away «General, can you hear me?»

Hux was swallowed by the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can writing be physically painful? 'Cause the making of this chapter felt just like someone was digging my heart out bit by bit, using a very small spoon.


	9. What matters most

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where priorities come out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Or "where is actually possible to give Snoke a back story and we discover something more about the crimson woman and Kylo's dreams"

«Don’t you dare»

She carried him away in her arms, while his blood dripped over the shiny steel of her plate. Phasma held him tight on her chest and ran to the medical facility as fast as she could; at every step she feared she wouldn’t make it in time.

«Don’t you dare die on me» she repeated to the unconscious Hux «Don’t you fucking dare»

The corridor seemed endless and Armitage's face got paler every second. He was losing so much blood… A painful lump formed in the Captain’s throat. He wouldn’t have been proud of her for being sentimental, she thought; the General would have scolded Phasma, if he had seen her on the brink of tears.

***

Rain had been falling steadily for days now; countless streams and waterfalls were born on the island where the Jedi temple rose, running down the steep, rocky slopes until they finally met the sea and they were swallowed by the lead-grey waves. The chants of the restless undertow, of the falls and the rain mixed together in an hypnotic melody and Rey was never tired of listening to it; the Jakku girl sat outside the Temple, on the wet stone walls, and let the water cradle her with its singing. She loved rain. Rey would have stayed there forever, soaking wet under cool touch of the storm, but a voice distracted her from her trance.

«Even Jedi can catch a cold»

She glanced back to see Kylo approaching her.

«But we can heal fast» Rey replied, welcoming her cousin with a faint smile.

While he lived with them on Ahch-To, he hadn’t stop wearing black; even now, a warm but dark cloak shielded him from the pouring rain. By contrast, his skin seemed bone-white, so it was almost impossible not to notice the dark circles under his eyes. Or the scar across his face. The Knight looked exhausted.

Rey moved aside and tapped the stone, inviting Kylo to sit near her.

«Doesn't it bother you?» he asked her, accepting the invitation.

She shook her head: «Actually, I like it»

«The rain?»

«Mhm. You don’t?»

Kylo shrugged: «I prefer snow»

«Why?» the girl inquired, curious.

He chuckled: «You always ask me a lot of questions, you know?»

«I’m only trying to know you» she replied.

Kylo’s smile was tense: «Because Luke told you to set hate aside and give me a second chance? Because this is what a Jedi would do and you so desperately want to be one?»

Rey was getting used to her cousins sharp comments; she tried, as she always did, not to let his resentment against Luke and the Jedi affect her, but part of her still flinched, knowing that Ren’s accusations weren’t completely untrue. It wasn’t easy getting closer to her cousin while the Knight whispered doubts in her ears.

She fixed her eyes in his and replied, sincerely: «Because _I_ want to give you a second chance»

«Really?» he said, not convinced «Well, this is your disaster»

«We shall see» she smiled.

Kylo snorted, scornful, and for a while they just watched the horizon painted with black clouds. Out of the blu, the Knight spoke again.

«I can’t find him» he muttered, almost hoping Rey didn’t hear him, but of course she did.

«Hux?» she asked, even if she already knew the answer.

In fact, Kylo nodded: «I thought I heard him some time ago; it felt like he was in danger»

«And then?»

«Nothing else» he sighed «Maybe I’m worrying too much. He’s not dead, I think I’d know if he was».

By now, Kylo’s cloak was as soaked as Rey’s clothes and dusk was approaching fast. The girl stretched her back and jumped on her feet.

«I am cold, actually» she said «Let’s go back inside»

Her cousin rose and followed her obediently to the warmness of the Temple; they had still a couple of hours before dinner, so they changed their wet clothes and sat together in the common room, by the fire, both absorbed in their own thoughts. Kylo observed the flames dance and couldn’t help thinking about his dream again; he didn’t get new visions since he arrived on the planet. That didn’t make him calmer; he just wanted the certainty that Jiho and the other Knights were safe, but all he could do was wait and hope his dreams meant nothing.

«I like snow because we used to live on a very cold world when I was little» he confessed to Rey, trying to escape from the prison of his thoughts «It was before I left with Luke to train».

And his parents were still together, but he didn’t add that.

She smiled: «I wasn’t even sure rain existed before I left Jakku; I couldn’t believe water could fall from the sky like that. It seemed a kind of magic».

«I know there are worlds where it always rains» Kylo narrated «The storm goes on and on, until water covers the earth and the locals are forced to built cities under the ocean; they never see the sun in their whole life, only darkness».

Rey laughed: «A happy bedtime story»

«It’s not a story, it’s fact» he protested «I could take you there, one day»

«Would you?» the girl asked, pleasantly surprised.

He shrugged, vaguely: «It’s ugly and boring, but since you seem to like humidity so much...»

«Oh, there you are!»

They both turned to see Luke entering the room; his robes were wet as well, meaning he probably tried to look for them outside, in the storm.

«Enjoying the rain?» the Jedi asked, noticing Rey’s dripping hair.

She smiled and blushed, caught with one hand in the cookie jar.

«Well, I hope you’re both starving» he continued, proudly «’Cause tonight is my turn to cook»

Those words made Kylo’s hair stand on end. The Knight jerked on his feet, unbelievably fast.

«You really don’t have to, uncle» he said, with a nervous smile «I’ll cook again»

Luke frowned, disappointed: «But you did it yesterday, surely you want to-»

«Have another go» Kylo interrupted him, as he began to stride towards the kitchen «I’ll be fine!»

After Ren had disappeared, Rey turned to look at her father.

«I agree with him» she stated, before he could even speak.

«I don’t cook _that_ bad!» Luke protested.

The girl gave him a skeptical glance.

«Okay, maybe I do» he admitted, snorting «At least it will help him get distracted»

Rey nodded, thoughtfully. She wasn’t the only one to have realized that Kylo was nervous and that the main reason for it was the lack of news from Hux. Luke worried his nephew’s fear could lead him to do something stupid, like go looking for the ginger while it was still to dangerous for him to come out.

«He says the General is alive» Rey told him, reading the Jedi’s thoughts.

Luke forced himself to smile: «Then it must be so».

He didn’t have the courage to tell his daughter that there are fates far worse than death.

***

The waiting seemed eternal. Phasma had been a bundle of nerves since the message from the medical facility reached her; she jumped every time she heard a movement in the distance. She should have calmed down. The news were good, otherwise they wouldn’t bother to ask her to come in person. Eventually, the door opened and a medical officer came towards her.

The Captain tensed up: «How is he?»

«Alive» the doctor answered, brief «And awake, but we are keeping him under sedatives»

«Because of the pain?»

«Because he almost strangled a nurse, trying to escape»

Phasma couldn’t help feeling proud of her General.

«And because we found this in his mouth» the doctor continued, showing her a small white capsule.

She recognized the cyanide immediately.

«Seems your instinct was right, Captain» he told her «If his jaw weren’t dislocated by the fall, we’d have carried a corpse back to the Supreme Leader»

«Can he speak now?» Phasma inquired, impatient to see him.

The doctor shrugged: «Technically, he can»

«But?»

«But he hasn’t pronounced a single word since he woke up» the doctor explained «You have to understand, Captain, he’s experienced a serious trauma and not just on the physical level, as you can imagine»

Phasma nodded: «I know, but I need to talk to him»

«I understand-»

«Alone»

The other frowned: «Captain, I’m afraid that’s not possible; the rules wouldn’t allow it»

«Then I’ll have to ask you to break the rules for me, doctor» she insisted, firmly.

The man stared at her silently, irritated by the Captain’s demands, but he had worked on the Finalizer long enough to know best than stand on Phasma’s way.

«As you wish» he surrendered, opening the door for her.

The entrance closed again with a loud hiss behind the woman. As soon as the doctor couldn’t see her anymore, Phasma took off her helmet and stared with wary eyes at the man lying in the bed in front of her; Hux had his eyes closed and he looked paler than usual; if it weren’t for the beeping of the machines he was attached to, monitoring his heartbeats and vital signs, she could have believed him dead. Only his chest moved faintly, every breath accompanied by the whistle of the oxygen being pumped through the inhalator that covered Hux’s mouth and nose. Nothing blanketed the ginger’s body, apart from a thin white sheet and the bandages protecting his healing wounds; Phasma’s gaze fell almost immediately to the one on his left shoulder, wrapped tightly around a stump. It was all that was left of Hux’s arm. Something twisted painfully in the Captain’s stomach, seeing to what state the man she admired was reduced.

«General?» she called him.

Slowly, Armitage opened his eyes to look at her. He raised his only hand and Phasma approached him to remove the inhalator, allowing him to talk.

Hux’s voice was harsh and feeble: «Where am I?»

«Aboard of the Finalizer, sir» she answered «We are cruising near the Wild Space»

«I’m thirsty»

Phasma quickly spotted a faucet and some glasses beside it. She filled one of them and helped the General to drink; most of the water slipped from his dry lips, running in rivulets down his neck. Hux coughed violently and she moved the glass away; the Captain noticed traces of blood in the water.

«How long did I sleep?» he growled.

She washed the glass and put it aside: «Almost a week, sir»

«Then why are we still here?»

Phasma didn’t know what to tell him, but before she could take a decision she heard something like a chuckle coming out from Hux’s throat.

«You are looking for Ren» he concluded.

«Yes» Phasma admitted.

The attack to the Vespera had damaged the old ship’s main power generator; it had become unstable and exploded in the hangar just after Phasma had carried Hux away, destroying the Vespera IV and its computer. All the details of the previous journeys were lost. There was no way to know where the ship had come from and therefore where the missing Knight was; while Hux was asleep, they had searched the systems nearby, but with no results.

«You won’t find him» Hux growled.

«We will if you help us»

«Why can’t I feel my left arm?»

A sudden nausea closed Phasma throat.

«I’m afraid» she mumbled «That during your capture you were hit by a grenade and your arm… There was nothing to be saved from shoulder down»

Hux seemed to have no reaction; he just stared at her silently, but Phasma knew him well and could see the mute scream in his eyes. Eventually, he spoke again.

«How many did I kill?»

«General-»

«I am no General» he hissed back «How many did I kill?»

Phasma sighed: «Twenty-five»

A faint, arrogant smile appeared on his lips: «Not bad»

«So you won’t help us find Ren?» she asked him «Collaborating could help you»

«Can I have my cyanide back?»

The Captain didn’t want to do this.

«Please, think about it» she begged.

Hux chuckled: «I did; I think you’ve grown soft»

Armitage was leaving her no choice.

«Don’t force me, General, I can help you»

«I’m afraid you can’t»

Phasma understood that no matter how much she tried to persuade him: Hux had already made his choice. With extreme pain, she forced herself to say her next words.

«Armitage Hux» she told him, getting her helmet back on «You’ve been found guilty of treason to the Supreme Leader Snoke and the First Order; you’ll be brought back to the Capital in chains, where you’ll be questioned by our Leader on the whereabouts of the traitor Kylo Ren, then you’ll be executed by hanging. And your body burned».

«Good» he grinned «It’s nice to finally have a clear plan»

Phasma couldn’t bear it any longer. Without a word, she left the room and marched to the main bridge, to give the order to set their course for the Capital. The Supreme Leader was waiting for them.

***

Snoke would never forget the day the crimson woman had found him. He used to be an Imperial officer at the time, one of the few who didn’t surrender and still continued the war against the Republic, but, even while he fought under the flag of House Palpatine, Snoke had always dreamt of putting the hollow crown of the Galaxy on his own head.

He had been ambitious from the start and he never tried too much to hide it. The Emperor himself had noticed him and offered him the chance of becoming one of his many apprentices, but Palpatine died when Snoke had just began to scratch the surface of the Dark Side. He remembered that day very well: he was there during the battle of Endor, commanding the attack against the Rebels from the bridge of his faithful cruiser, the Leviathan; he remembered the half-built Death Star and how it was suddenly destroyed, dragging an whole empire to Hell with it. Snoke and his men had watched powerless as victory slipped through their fingers like dust; the only reason they didn’t fall in the hands of the enemy had been Snoke himself, the young general who didn’t hesitate to call for the retreat. They had disappeared in the hyperspace before the Rebels could stop them. When they were finally safe, he had called every man on the bridge: whoever wanted, he had told them, could stay and fight with him; anyone else had the permission to go home and spend their remaining day as cowards. No one had moved. They were the rebels, now.

The crew of the Leviathan had fought his lonely, useless battle for the next fifteen years. They had raided small outposts and isolated ship; in the end, they were struggling to survive rather than win the war. Snoke had soon realized every hope was lost, but he was determined to fight till his last breath. He thought his moment had finally come when a massive fleet of the New Republic surrounded them, just outside the atmosphere of Dandoran; shattered and burning, the Leviathan had crashed on the surface of the planet with Snoke still inside, because he couldn’t bear to abandon the cruiser he loved so much. He thought he’d be dead, but he had survived; horribly scarred and mentally broken, he survived and lived an half-existence in the carcass of his fallen spaceship for a year, praying that death would reach him, yet not brave enough to take his own life.

In the end, it was the crimson woman who found him. She had come in a day like any other, carrying with her a Darkness Snoke hadn’t felt since the Emperor was still alive. The woman had never told him her true name, only that she used to be an apprentice of Darth Vader, just like he was of Sidious, but now she was a master of the Dark Side and Snoke could address her as Darth Rava. She had come to him with a vision of the Empire reborn; Rava offered him a deal: she would teach him what Palpatine couldn’t and put him in charge of a great army, ready to conquer back the Galaxy. All Snoke had to do in return was give her his complete and blind obedience. The fallen general had accepted. He had no idea he had just sold himself to the devil.

Rava hadn’t simply taught him the ways of the Force: she had burned him from the inside, breaking him until nothing remained but the Darkness. Snoke was talented and clever, that had helped him to learn fast. Despite the pain, he was satisfied of his new life as Supreme Leader of the First Order but, slowly, he started to taste the bitter under the layer of sugar: soon it became clear that Rava had no intentions to make a Sith out of him; Snoke was just a puppet whose strings she pulled to carry on her grand scheme. If Rava told him to invade that system or the other, Snoke did it. If she commanded to built more outposts rather than cruisers, Snoke obeyed. One day, a group of young officers, fresh from the Academy, had come to pay homage to the Supreme Leader; after they had left, Rava had called him.

«The son of Admiral Hux» his master had purred, from the throne she gave him «It’s worth it to let him grow»

And so Snoke had to stand and watch as Armitage Hux, the Admiral's bastard, climbed his way up the ranks of the First Order, shining every day brighter, while he wallowed in envy; the officer reminded the Supreme Leader of that long lost version of himself, but it would have been bearable, if the he hadn’t started to outdo all his achievements: he was ranked General at the age of 29, three years younger than Snoke; Hux hadn’t just turned out to be a better strategist than the Leader ever was, but also a brilliant engineer, who projected and built a weapon so terrible men before him were scared even to dream about; his cruiser, the Finalizer, made the Leviathan look like a toy-ship. Snoke observed him collecting one success after the other, unable to stop his hateful career.

The Leader’s chains had become even heavier when Rava commanded him to take under his control a group of rogue padawans, who escaped Skywalker’s reach and turned to the Dark Side. They called themselves the Knights of Ren. Again, he could do nothing but obey. Kylo, their so-called master, was a lost boy struggling to become a man, lacking of any balance in his use of the Force, but Snoke realized right away that he had power in him; a rough and terrible power the boy wasn’t able to control, but if he had ever learned to, Kylo would have unleashed something the Leader knew he could never match. It was enough to make him envious. At least, Rava had asked him to make sure Ren stayed out of balance, so Snoke didn't have to worry for the Skywalker to get stronger than him.

Then, for some cruel irony, suddenly Kylo Ren and General Hux were working together on the Finalizer, one using it as base in his search for Skywalker, the other to supervise the construction of his monstrous machine. Snoke had seen something the first time they came to him together, a familiar feeling that had unsettled him, until he realized who Armitage and Kylo reminded him of and anger burned in his chest; like ghosts rising from the grave, Snoke had watched the shadows of Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader greeting him, instead of the two men under his orders. The resemblance was so strong at his eyes that he had found no way to deny it.

After that, he had thought he’d begun to understand Rava’s plot: she wanted Hux to wipe out the Republic and leave the Galaxy guideless; she wanted to keep Ren under control so he wouldn’t become a rival. And she wanted Snoke to be the horrible facade of her plan, a mask to hide behind until her purpose was achieved and she no longer needed him. He would soon be redundant. It didn’t take long for Snoke to decide that he had no intentions of playing her game; he wanted his freedom back and to wear the crown Rava was trying to get for herself, but to do it he had to get rid of his master first and he knew he didn’t have the power to do that. Yet, someone else did. So, instead of holding him back as Rava ordered, Snoke started to push Kylo Ren towards the Dark Side; his plan was ambitious and, as he soon discovered, full of obstacles: despite all his efforts to snuff it out, the Light remained strong inside Kylo, preventing him from fully embracing the Darkness.

When Han Solo came back, Snoke thought he had finally found the way to turn his apprentice completely. Incredibly, yet, it failed. Kylo’s parricide had instead the opposite result of what the Leader hoped for and the Knight didn’t just step back into the Light, losing the feeble balance he had gained, but he also betrayed the Order and ran away. With Armitage Hux.

Snoke, however, refused to lose hope. Now, the General was his prisoner and he had the chance not only to take his revenge upon the former officer, but also to get Kylo back in his claws. The plan was back on its tracks and Snoke’s freedom seemed every hour closer.

The Supreme Leader sat on his throne and commanded: «Bring the prisoner in».

***

When they came to get him, Hux didn’t even try to resist; he let them drag him out of the bed, dress him with whatever was left of his blood-soaked clothes and carry him away. He didn’t look at them, nor said a word, as if he was just the spectator of someone else’s tragedy. Armitage wasn’t afraid. A bit curious, maybe, but not afraid.

He was still too weak to walk on his own, so one of the guards had to grab his only arm and support him while they passed through one empty, identical corridor after the other. Hux moved in a state close to dream, barely aware of what was going on; the sedatives they had given him made him feel dazzled, vulnerable and dangerously out of control. He just hoped the effects would have worn out by the time he’d have to face the noose; if he had to die, he wanted to do it with a clear mind, so he could look at his executioners and spit in their eyes. He had all the intentions to fight till the very end.

Half asleep, he didn’t realize they had left the Finalizer to enter Snoke’s palace, but he knew right away when they reached the throne room; Hux immediately recognized that unpleasant feeling of slimy cold that hit him every time he came there, to meet with the Supreme Leader. He gazed at the bottom of the room and saw Snoke towering on his seat, a faint grin on his deformed face. When they came close enough, the guard escorting him grabbed Hux by the hair and forced him to get down on his knees; it was humiliating, but Armitage did his best not to show his anger.

«Leave us».

Snoke’s order was quickly followed by the sound of steps and the door shutting behind the guards. The silence that fell upon the throne room was so deep Hux’s heart beat seemed to thunder; he wondered if the Leader could hear it as well and if he was enjoying it.

«Armitage Hux» Snoke hissed «How do you feel?»

The ginger managed a faint chuckle: «Rather bored, actually».

He could feel the Leader’s annoyance.

«Come on, you magnificence» Hux mocked him «You are a clever… man. You know I won’t tell you anything, so why waste our time? At least an execution will be exciting for us both»

Snoke growled: «It doesn’t matter if you don’t talk; what I want, I will get, one way or the other. You should know that, Armitage. Do you mind if I use you first name? I don't think it would be fair to Admiral Hux if I called a traitor with his name. Anyway, you never really had the right to use it, did you?»

The words hit him like a slap.

«Do it, then» Armitage spread his only arm open, offering himself to Snoke «Break me, because I won’t say a word, not willingly, about Kylo Ren».

The Leader’s eyes studied Hux for what seemed an eternity. The former officer finally felt fear creeping under his skin, while he waited for Snoke to strike at his mind; he had seen the Leader bring men on the brink of madness with his powers, Kylo himself could not resist him, so Hux didn’t think he could be a match. But nothing happened.

«I’m surprised» Snoke said, breaking the silence «I didn’t expect such loyalty»

Hux didn’t answer. What he felt towards Kylo wasn’t a matter of loyalty.

«Can I meet my executioner, now?» the ginger asked «I have to make sure he chooses a suitable noose»

Snoke stared at him, curiously: «Are you in such a hurry to die, Armitage? What if I made you an offer, instead?»

A cold shiver ran down his spine; Hux was taken aback.

«What kind of offer?» he inquired, wary.

He didn’t like the Leader’s grin: «If you tell me now where Ren and Skywalker are, you can have it all back».

«All?» Hux was confused «What do you mean?»

« _Everything_ » the other explained «Your soldiers, your ship, your status… I will grant you my complete forgiveness and rehabilitate you to the rank of General»

He couldn’t believe his own ears. The offer was horribly tempting and a part of him was desperate to accept; he would live - it seemed too good to be true - he would go back to his old life, as if nothing had ever happened. He would erase it all, wipe out that crazy journey with Kylo, all he had to do was name a planet. That wasn’t hard, was it?

«Wouldn’t you like it?» the Supreme Leader continued, meanwhile «Wouldn’t you like to see your career restored?»

«My career...» a bitter, sharp laugh escaped Hux’s lips.

Snoke frowned; he couldn’t understand: «What do you find so funny?»

«Now, let’s make this clear» the ginger told him, staring unafraid at last into the Supreme Leader’s eyes «Nothing, and I repeat, _nothing_ matters to me more than Kylo Ren; not power, not Starkillers, not soldiers or career and most certainly not the First Order»

Hux had just thrown away his only chance to live, but he didn’t care. Anyway, it wouldn’t have been a complete life without Kylo. The Supreme Leader was so astounded he remained speechless.

«This» he muttered, almost to himself «This can’t be».

Armitage wasn’t prepared for the violence of Snoke’s attack; he tore his mind like a raging storm, devastating whatever he found on his path. Hux cried and struggled in the desperate attempt to hide something from Snoke’s greedy claws, but it was an helpless fight. The Leader harassed every corner of his soul, digging deep down until he found it: the memory of that night on the Vespera, of their kiss. He saw the fire that tormented Hux for the weeks after and relived the moment when the ginger had realized what it meant. The former officer fell exhausted on the ground, panting; every inch of his body screamed in pain.

He heard Snoke’s voice, distant and muffled: «I can’t believe it» the Leader said, incredulous and disgusted «You… _feel_ something for him. And it is mutual».

Despite the pain, Hux couldn’t help smiling. But his expression soon faded away as Snoke’s cruel laugh filled the room, freezing the blood in his veins.

«Thank you!» the Leader said, rising from his throne «Thank you, Armitage, you’ve made things so much easier»

Snoke stretched out his arm and an invisible hand closed around Hux’s neck, forcing him to stand up and look at the Leader. A new light made his eyes shine; Armitage recognized it right away: it was victory.

«You have no idea of how much I tried» Snoke snarled «I made him kill, I trained him, I convinced him to take his own father’s life and yet it was never enough. But now… It seems now I found the thing he truly cares about the most»

The grasp on Hux’s throat tightened, taking his breath away.

«You are the tool that will allow me to control Ren» the Supreme Leader laughed and let go of the ginger, who bent in half, coughing.

«I will not kill you, yet» Snoke hissed «I’ll wait until your Knight come to rescue you and then, just then, I will burn you in front of him»

Armitage had nothing else to lose; that was the one and only reason he found the courage to answer back.

«It won’t work» he snarled, each word a sting of pain in his sore throat «Ren will never be yours. If I die, he will destroy you, Snoke, and I’ll be in Hell waiting for you!»

«We shall see»

The guards came back to take him; Hux tried to rebel, but a punch in his stomach left him breathless in the hands of the soldiers. He barely heard Snoke ordering to throw him in a cell, before they dragged him out; during their brief journey towards the prisons, Armitage took advantage of every occasion to struggle, in the hopeless attempt to escape; each time the guards hit him and Hux was still too weak to fight back. He couldn’t allow this; he didn’t mind dying, but being used as bait was just unbearable.

“Maybe he won’t fall for it” he thought, desperate “Maybe he’ll leave me behind…”

 _I didn’t want to leave you behind_.

Hux felt sick. Of course Kylo would come; and he would be the death of them both.

Suddenly, the guards stopped. The ginger raised his gaze and found himself looking at a woman; she stood in the middle of the corridor, her face hidden under the hood of a crimson cloak. Only her eyes could be seen, golden ambers blazing in the dark. He didn’t know why, but Hux was afraid of her.

«You will leave the prisoner to me» she told the guards, in a mellow purr.

The ginger would have expected the guards to raise their weapons and shoot her, but instead they let go of him and marched away without a single word. As soon as they turned the corner, Hux found himself alone with the crimson woman. She made a few steps in his direction.

«Please» she said «Be a gentleman and don’t fight while I escort you to your cell; I’d hate to hit that pretty face of yours»

«So, you’re my jailer?» he inquired, wary.

Her laugh gave him the chills: «I’m closer to an executioner, I’m afraid»

She turned around, inviting Hux to follow her.

«I’d prefer to do this the gentle way» she murmured «We’ll have plenty of time for pain, later».

Hux forced himself to walk at her side.

«Who are you?» he dared to ask.

The crimson woman smiled underneath the hood: «Don’t worry, Armitage, I’m here to take care of you».

***

«Okay, I admit it» Luke said, rising his hand in a gesture of surrender «He cooks better than me»

«Doesn’t take much» Kylo muttered as he helped Rey cleaning the table from the dishes.

The old Jedi frowned, offended: «While I trained you, I fed all seven of you students and you all turned out healthy and strong»

The Knight glanced at him: «No one ate your meals, uncle, why do you think I learned to cook?»

Luke gasped.

«No one» Ren repeated, serious.

A laugh slipped Rey’s lips and she earned a glare from her father. Luke sat at the table, a grumpy expression on his face, mumbling something unintelligible about ungrateful padawans and rude relatives.

«Come on» the girl said, washing the dishes Kylo handed her «You’re happy not to cook»

He tried to hide a smile: «A bit, yes»

«Would you like to meditate together, later?» Rey asked her cousin.

Ren snorted and grabbed another dirty bowl from the pile: «I’m not really in the mood for meditation, maybe I’ll read or-»

He froze; the bowl slipped from his fingers as the vision engulfed him.

_Kylo is once again in the room filled with fire; he can grasp every detail now, even feel the heat of the flames on his skin. There’s a door. Stairs._

_Kylo runs, searching for the figure in the flames._

_«Where are you?» he calls «Jiho!»_

_He halts. Someone stands in front of him, a wall of fire separates them. He can’t get through. Something is wrong. He can only see the back of the figure, but there is no doubt it’s too tall to be Jiho. And the hair is too short, yet there are indeed red, flaming locks dancing with the fire._

_The figure turns around and Kylo can finally see it’s face. His heart sinks._

_«Kylo» Hux calls him from the flames «Kylo, please, help me»._

_He is unable to move while the fire tightens around the General._

_«Kylo»_

_The roar of flames grows louder and turns into a scream._

_«Kylo, help me!»_

_He stretches out his hand, trying to reach Hux; the fire bites his flesh and clothes, but he moves on._

_«Kylo»_

_He's almost there, he almost touches him._

_«Kylo!»_

_Hux's fingers turn to ashes as soon as Ren meets them. Fire surrounds him, swallowing the officer before he can call Kylo’s name again._

_Fire, all around him._

_Nothing but fire._

_And Kylo's desperate cry filling the air._

The bowl touched the floor, shattering in pieces at the Knight’s feet.

«What’s wrong?» Rey asked him, alarmed; his face had turned dead white.

Even Luke had stood up and stared wary at his nephew, but Kylo wasn’t listening. He couldn’t breath, he was trembling. How could he have been so blind? How come he hadn't realized from the start what his vision meant? 

«Hux» he mumbled.

Rey leaned closer to touch his shoulder: «What did you say?»

«I saw him» Kylo explained in a whisper «I was wrong, uncle, it’s wasn’t Jiho who I saw in the fire; it was _him_ »

A grave expression appeared on Luke’s face.

«He is in danger, the First Order must have captured him»

And it was his fault. Stupid, stupid Kylo! He had wanted to keep Hux close, so he lied and betrayed him and now his actions could have got the officer killed. The Knight felt sick. Why was he only capable of destroying people around him, even when he cared about them.

«I have to go find him» he said, striding towards the door.

«No» the Jedi stopped him before he could reach it «It’s too dangerous and, more importantly, it could be a trap»

Kylo glared at his uncle: «I don’t care, move out of my way!»

«This might be exactly what Snoke wants» Luke replied.

«I got him into this» the Knight snarled «I won’t stand and watch as they kill him»

«Then I’ll go with you» Rey declared, shocking them both.

«No way!»

«Dear, you’re not trained enough»

«I am a Jedi and I do what I want» she replied, blunt.

«Rey» Kylo gently grabbed her shoulders and looked in his cousin's eyes «I  _have_ to do this, you don't. It's not your responsibility, okay? It's mine. I have to save Hux, no matter what, but I won't put you at risk as well»

The girl looked back, firm: «I will come»

«This is not like Starkiller» he insisted «I will be against Snoke, you have no idea of how powerful he is.»

«That's why you need my help»

«Rey-»

«No, now you listen up!» she silenced him «This is not a tantrum, I'm coming because you care about Hux and he cares about you, I saw it. Because, no matter what he did in the past, nobody deserves to die like that. Mostly because you're my cousin and I want to help you»

«I really don't understand you» he sighed «What's the point if we are related? What does it change?»

She glanced at Luke, who listened in silence but was deeply interested on what was going on. 

«In the past» Rey began «Nothing, but the future is full of possibilities»

Ren stared at her astounded: «You're taking this second chance thing too seriously»

«And you too lightly» she replied «I already told you: I don't think you're a monster»

«But how can you be so sure?»

The girl smiled faintly: «A monster wouldn't have rushed to save his friend»

Her words touched Ren in a way he wasn't expecting. He couldn't understand when it happened or if it had always been there, but for the first time he realized a bond was created between him and his cousin. It was a strange feeling, yet not in a bad way.

«So, can I come?»

Kylo shook his head, resigned: «I guess I can’t stop you»

He was concerned and at, the same time, secretly happy she would be with him in this fight.

Rey smiled and turned towards her father: «What do you say, dad? You coming?»

Luke stared at the other two, his expression unreadable.

At the end, he shrugged: «Oh boy, the last time I ran to save my friends after a vision from the Force had warned me about their imminent death, I only lost my right hand and discovered Darth Vader was my father… Yeah, I can’t see what could possibly go wrong».

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodbye, dear Vespera. You were an old, ugly jalopy, but I truly loved you :'(


	10. The Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where the family gets together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was terribly hard to put together, but here we go at last! Sorry for the long waiting <3

«This is a stupid plan» Kylo stated, for the hundredth time since they took off.

Luke gestured vaguely: «It’s gonna be fine»

«She will never fall for this»

«You underestimate me, nephew»

Kylo glared: «I think it’s _you_ who underestimate my mother»

«Nonsense! She’s my sister, I know her. Now put that thing on».

Grumbling, Kylo adjusted the hood on his head and the scarf that covered his mouth and nose. The moment they had decided to go on Hux’s rescue, they realized they couldn’t face the First Order alone and the Resistance seemed their only possible chance to find an ally; of course, that meant facing his mother. And Kylo wasn’t enthusiast at all about it. He knew the day would have come, obviously; he couldn’t run from his past forever, but since then, the confrontation had felt like something too far away in the future to worry about. Suddenly, it had become a matter of hours or even less. Kylo had no idea of what to do when he’d finally find himself in front of Leia; nothing he could say was going to change what he had done and, although he wished for it, how could he expect his mother’s forgiveness, when he wasn’t able to forgive himself? She would have looked at him like a stranger, maybe even with hate, but Kylo tried to convince himself that, if this was the price to save Hux, he was willing to pay it in full.

«You okay?» Rey asked him, seeing he was struggling with the robe Luke gave him.

They all agreed they couldn’t just show up in the middle of the Resistance base with Kylo in plain sight, unless they wanted him to get shot, so Luke had come up with a “plan”: they dressed the Knight with Jedi clothes that hid his face; they would present him as Skywalker’s new apprentice, who conveniently took the vow of silence. The robes barely fit Kylo, impeding his movements; he already missed his black uniform.

«I’m fine» he lied as he tried to adjust them.

«We are almost there» Luke announced «I’ll take over the autopilot»

They had recovered the small ship Luke had used to reach Ahch-To, years before. Even if it annoyed Kylo to admit it, it was still in a better shape than the Vespera; maybe Hux hadn’t been so wrong to call it a “jalopy”.

«You know» Rey said, helping him with the hood «You’re a terrible liar, cousin»

«It’s just a robe» he replied, blunt.

«I’m not talking about that»

Taken off guard, Kylo preferred to stay silent.

«It’s normal to be nervous» she insisted.

He couldn’t hold back a bitter chuckle: «“Nervous” doesn’t even begin to describe it!» Kylo snorted «It will be a disaster»

«Maybe it won’t»

The Knight gave her a skeptical glance from beneath the hood.

«It’s not going to be easy, I know» Rey leaned forward to touch his shoulder «But we are with you»

Kylo shook his head: «I appreciate that, but this is not about you or Luke. I have to deal with it alone»

«Not necessarily»

«Yes I do» he clenched his fists «It’s why I ran from the Order in the first place; I won’t pull back now»

Luke’s voice came from the speaker: they had dropped the hyperdrive and started their descending on the surface of D’Qar. Kylo felt the grip of fear closing his throat. It was time.

***

The cell was dark and icy; only a thin ray of light cut the shadows, falling from a small opening on the roof. It smelled of steel and blood. Hux was kneeling, a chain around his neck tied him to the floor, just beneath the light; he could see nothing of the room, apart from the woman’s blazing eyes. They shined in the darkness like golden ambers and stared at him cruelly. He was waiting for her to do something, anything just as long as she broke that unnerving silence.

«You are not afraid to die» she purred from the shadows.

Hux didn’t answer.

«That is not good» the woman seemed to talk almost to herself «We should all be afraid of death, otherwise we are not urged to live»

«There is worse than death» he snarled.

The former General forced himself to look straight into her eyes, even if they terrified him. He was shivering; his tattered clothes weren’t enough to shield him from the cold, so it freely crawled up his skin. Hux just hoped it would be done soon.

The golden eyes narrowed, menacing: «There is _nothing_ worse than death»

«What are you waiting for, then?» Hux replied «Kill me and prove it»

Her laugh was eerily melodious; she knelt in front of him and grabbed his chin with long, gloved fingers.

«I’m not going to kill you, Armitage» the woman told him «I’m going to burn you»

She leaned closer, so her lips were just inches away from Hux’s left ear. Her sugary smell, like wither flowers, filled the ginger’s nose and made his stomach twist with nausea.

«I will burn the _heart_ out of you» the woman whispered.

Hux struggled to keep his voice from trembling: «I’ve been reliably informed I don’t have one»

«Really?» she mocked him «Tell me, if you truly are heartless...»

The woman pressed a hand on his chest. At first, he felt nothing; then, the pain came, like white-hot claws of steel closing around his heart and squeezing. The torment was so intense Hux couldn’t breathe, but he wouldn’t allow himself to cry, never, he’d die before he’d give her that pleasure. The grip tightened. It felt like the woman was sinking her hand inside his chest, consuming him from the inside.

“It’s all in my head” Hux tried to convince himself.

He knew she was using the Force to torture him, he had seen Kylo doing the same with many prisoners.

“It’s not real, it’s not real”

A low moan slipped from his clamped lips. No, no he was not going to cry!

The woman smiled: «...Then what is it that hurts so much?»

Hux couldn’t resist any longer; his screams echoed in the empty darkness.

***

Leia almost couldn’t believe her brother was finally coming home. The last few days had been a living hell for the general, after news came that the First Order had captured Hux and was likely to be closing up on Ben; the information that reached the Resistance were few and scattered: some said the former officer had died trying to escape, others that he made a deal with Snoke to deliver him the traitor Knight. No sure word about Kylo Ren. Part of her desperately wanted to send a team out there, looking for her son, but how could she ask her men to risk their lives for an enemy? However, now it would all change; now Luke was here and - Goodness gracious - her brother was better to help her this time, instead of running away and leaving Leia alone to mend the pieces. And Rey, the scavenger from Jakku, would be with Luke as his apprentice. She was just sorry Chewbacca wouldn’t be there to greet her as well; after he had escorted her to Ahch-To, the Wookie had briefly come back to deliver R2 back to their base, then he took off again, on his own. He needed time to mourn his friend. Leia had sent him a message as soon as she received the news of Luke’s arrival; hopefully Chewie would come back in time to meet him and Rey. They might even go together in search for Ben.

Leia reached the landing field, where half of the Resistance had reunited to assist to the legendary Luke Skywalker’s return; the small ship had already pierced the clouds and was about to touch the earth. The crowd cheered and applauded as the engines finally started to cool down. General Organa moved forward, trying to get a better view. The hatch opened and suddenly Luke was once again in front of her. Leia’s heart lost a beat when she saw her brother walking out of the shuttle; he had grown old, his face was carved by time and his hair, still dark blond when he had left, had turned grey; she almost couldn’t recognize him. But then he saw her and smiled, and in that smile Leia found the bother she had lost. She couldn’t help it: the general made her way through the cheering crowd and ran to hug him. Luke laughed as he embraced her tight.

«Hello sister» he said.

Leia had been angry at him for abandoning them, she was still terribly angry, but she was also happy; Luke was back. Her only regret was that Han couldn't be there to see it.

The general fought back the tears: «You’ve grown fat, brother».

The Jedi released her from the hug and stepped aside to reveal other two figures descending from the spaceship and marching in their direction. Leia spotted Rey right away; at her side, a tall stranger clothed in robes similar to Luke’s followed. She couldn’t see his face, but there was something eerily familiar about him.

«Leia» her brother said, as soon as the couple reached them «I believe your already know my daughter, Rey»

The general’s eye widened: «Of course» she muttered, almost to herself «It all makes sense, now»

The former princess leaned over to hug Rey as well: «Welcome home, dear, welcome home»

«Thank you, aunt» she said, hugging back.

«And» Luke’s voice interrupted them to drive Leia’s attention to the hooded stranger «May I present you my newest apprentice, Qui-Gon Jinn?»

«Oh» Organa exclaimed, as the other bowed to her, mute.

«He has taken the vow of silence» Luke explained.

«Of course he did» she commented, exhibiting a forced smile. She definitely knew the “apprentice”.

«Leia» the Jedi whispered in her ear «We are in a bit of a hurry, is there a place where we can talk undisturbed?»

The general frowned: «You just arrived and you’re already bringing problems?» but before Luke could even open his mouth to answer, the woman turned around.

«Come» she said, inviting them to follow her «I knew this would happen».

The three Jedi walked behind her, between the sides of the cheering crowd, and strided towards the Resistance Base. Rey tried to reach her cousin’s mind, but a thick wall of emotions shielded him; Kylo was afraid. She didn’t insist for long, before giving up. Rey had to accept her help was not welcome, so she left Ren alone with the storm inside him.

They stepped swiftly through the corridors of the Base, met by smiles and euphoric glances every time they came across someone. Luke seemed at ease, as if the hooded man behind him was actually his padawan and not one of the most wanted criminals in the whole Galaxy, enemy both to the Resistance and, recently, the First Order. Rey couldn’t understand how he managed to smile as he strolled at his sister’s side, while she stiffened every time someone looked too much in Kylo’s direction.

«I anticipated you, brother» Leia said, shaking the girl from her thoughts «I’m anxious to speak with you as well; plus, I thought Rey might want to say ‘hello’ to her friend...»

They stopped in front of a door; the general dialed a pass code and the entrance slid open, revealing what seemed to be a small living room; waiting near the armchairs, were Finn and Poe.

«Finn!» Rey cried, running inside to hug the former stormtrooper. The boy lifted her, making her spin as they both laughed.

«It’s so good to see you» she said, barely containing her joy.

He smirked: «Did you really think that masked bastard could put me down? I heard you kicked his ass and left him half-dead, well done Rey! I’d pay every credit in the Galaxy to go back in time and see it»

On her nape, the girl felt clearly Kylo’s homicidal aura; she had to make an effort to keep her smile on.

«Yeah, sure» she mumbled «But I also had luck, he was wounded and-»

«Don’t be modest, you thrashed that piece of shit! No offense, general, but he’s a real dick.»

«Finn-»

«Oh, sorry, did you already meet Poe?»

The pilot stepped forward, smiling.

«Yeah, of course» she said «Before I left with Chewbacca, how are you Poe?»

«I’m fine, thanks; welcome home» he answered, friendly.

A noise distracted her; Rey turned back to see Leia sealing the door behind them. She, Luke and Kylo reached them near the armchairs. They were all in circle now, facing each other. The general and her brother smiled, apparently relaxed, same as Poe and Finn. Rey exchanged a look with her father and knew it wasn’t time yet: too many people were in the room to reveal their secret; they would wait till they could speak privately with Organa.

«Oh boy, it’s really good to be back» the Jedi said to break the ice.

Leia nodded: «It is. And now that we are finally alone…» suddenly, the former princess turned to look directly on Kylo’s direction, with eye so fiery they could have melt through him « _Ben Solo!_ Take that ridiculous thing off your head»

A stunned silence fell among them and smiles froze on their faces.

Rey gazed panicked at Luke, who was white as a ghost. Leia glared at Kylo. Poe and Finn looked at each other, confused. No one dared to move. Eventually, it was Ren who broke the impasse.

«You know, I don’t want to be the one saying “I told you”» he grumbled, pulling the hood off «But I bloody told you»

« _Ren!_ » the former stormtrooper was the first to get a hold of himself. He grabbed the blaster from his belt, quickly imitated by Poe, and stepped in front of Rey to shield her from the Knight. Kylo reserved him only a skeptical glance.

«Don’t make a single move, bastard» the boy warned him.

«I’m unarmed» the Knight replied, plainly.

«Finn» Rey said, touching his arm «It’s alright»

«Fuck it’s not!»

«Exactly, Finn» the coldness in Leia’s voice interrupted them «It’s not alright»

The general moved her gaze to glare at her brother: «Really, Luke? Really?! Qui-Gon Jinn? Do you actually think I’m _that_ stupid?»

«Sister-»

«Don’t you dare “sister” me, Luke Skywalker!» she roared, silencing him «Eight years. You disappeared with no explanation for eight bloody years. You left all of us when we most needed you, and now you come back, thinking I won’t recognize my own son, that I would just forget what happened and help you without questioning. Well, it doesn’t work like that, brother, it really doesn’t.»

Before Luke could answer, Leia moved away from him and turned again to face Kylo. She stared at him, studying each corner of his face; it was the first time she saw him as a man. Every trace of childhood had disappeared from her boy and a shiver ran on the general’s skin when she fixed her eyes on the scar. Many times she had fantasized about how her Ben would have looked like once grown; Leia had imagined a tall, handsome man, laughing with his father’s insolent smirk and deep, gentle eyes. Seeing her son now felt like someone had stolen her fantasy and tortured it, until all  was left was a ghost of it. Yet, he was still her child. Leia’s heart sank.

«As for you» she muttered «Where do I even start with you?»

A painful lump clenched Kylo’s throat. He couldn’t say a word.

The general got a few steps closer to him: «Is it true you betrayed the First Order?»

«Yes» he answered.

«Why?»

He wished he could have shown it to her the same way he did with Luke, but Kylo wouldn’t allow himself that; he had to say it out loud, no loopholes. He fixed his eyes in his mother’s.

«Because» he started with broken voice «Because of what I did to dad»

«Yeah, it’s easy to say it now, isn’t it?» Finn growled, his blaster still pointed to the Knight’s chest «You couldn’t think about it before you killed him»

« _Finn!_ » Rey grabbed him by the wrist and forced him to lower the weapon «Shut up» she snarled, fierce.

The former stormtrooper stared at her as she was mad: «Are you _defending_ him?».

«And even if?» she challenged him.

«He’s a monster!»

Rey glared: «He’s my cousin»

«What?»

«I am a Skywalker» she explained «And he is my cousin and I won't let you call him a monster.»

Both Finn and Poe stared at her, speechless.

«The First Order has given me nothing but poison» Kylo said, ignoring everyone else to speak only to his mother «This was not what I wanted, I swear, this...»

Leia stared at him in silence, her expression unreadable.

Ren had to lower his eyes, because he couldn’t bear his mother accusing look: «I was wrong. I’ll never forgive myself for what I did, so I’m not expecting you to do it. I don’t expect to be your son again. You have every right to hate me. The reason I’m here is, I guess, that I have nowhere else to go and the Resistance is my only hope; someone I care for is in great danger and it’s only my fault, I have to rescue him! Please, general, I’ll tell the Resistance everything they need to know about the Order. I’ll spend the rest of my days in a prison, but please, help me save _him_ at least.»

«Why should we help you?» Poe interrupted «How do we know this is not a trap?»

Kylo didn’t even gaze at him; his eyes were once again fixed in his mother’s and this time, he promised himself, he was not going to look away.

«I don’t want to see anyone else I love die because of me» he told her, laying his final card on the table.

This time, something changed in Leia’s look. She seemed taken aback. Kylo was even more surprised than her, hearing those words coming from his lips; a part of him had always knew what he truly felt towards Hux, but he had never had the courage to say it out loud. Suddenly, he had confessed and that only urged him more to go save the former officer, but his mother was still silent. Did he say the wrong thing?

Eventually she sighed: «The last time I saw him, I asked your father to bring you home, because I was sure there was still light in you» warm tears slipped from her eyes «And here you are. You are back. Thanks to Han».

Leia couldn’t resist any longer. She voided the distance between them and hugged her son tight, like she did when he was still a boy; Ren stiffened in her grip, but she didn’t let go. Leia was so happy and so sad at the same time.

«I can live with that» she sobbed, against his chest «I can live with your father’s sacrifice if it brought you home»

Kylo’s heart was thundering in his ears. He was expecting her to hate him. She should have hated him, how could Leia find the strength not just to look at Ren, but to _hug_ him? He didn’t understand. This was beyond his wildest dreams.

«I knew there was light in you» the general said, crumbling down the last of his defenses.

He just let it go, all of it. Kylo hugged his mother back, embracing her tight as if he was afraid she could turn into dust and slip through his fingers. He let the tears run free from his eyes. The Knight knew things would never be back as they were before, but it didn’t matter now: finally, he felt he was home.

«Is it meaningless to apologize?» he asked, trembling.

She shook her head: «Never»

«I’m sorry» Kylo whispered «I’m so sorry»

***

Rava tilted her head aside, staring curiously at the man at her feet.

«P-please» he was begging «Please, just kill me. It’s too much.»

The former General curled on the ground, sweating and shaking uncontrollably, but the Sith wasn’t satisfied yet.

«You are still not afraid of death» she stated, disappointed «What are you afraid of, Armitage?»

Only a muffled sob answered her. Rava snorted and creeped inside his mind, indifferent to Hux’s scream growing louder.

«Oh, I see» she grinned «You _are_ afraid to die; you just fear more the way Snoke can use you against Ren while you live. Interesting.»

«Get out of my head!» he cried.

Rava’s eyes narrowed, rapacious: «I’m afraid you’re not a general anymore, Armitage. How do you expect me to obey?»

She attacked once again.

***

«Ben, tell us your plan»

«They are keeping Hux in the dungeons beneath Snoke’s palace; Luke and I will infiltrate-»

«And me!»

«Sorry, yeah, Luke, I _and_ Rey will infiltrate the building and get him out before it’s too late; what I need the Resistance to do is create a diversion to draw away from the palace as many stormtrooper as you can»

«According to our intelligence, there is another prison on the planet and among the captives there are some of our men; if we attack it with the X-Wing squadron, we might be able to kill two birds with one stone»

«That’s nice, Dameron, but can we put up a fight against the Order? And even if, how do we get on the surface in the first place? There will surely be shields and other defensive systems that will blow us up before we reach the atmosphere»

«You leave that to me, major: one of my Knights should be still on the planet, I’m sure she can disable the shields for us»

«Ben, excuse me if I ask, but how do you know Hux is in the palace?»

«Because in my vision he was surrounded by flames and those prisons are made for the most dangerous captives: they have a… _unique_ security system; if someone tries to escape, the whole dungeon can be set on fire. It turns into a furnace. And kills everything inside it»

«Lovely»

«It was Hux’s idea»

«Why am I not surprised?»

«So will you help me?»

«It’s risky»

«I know»

«… But if we can deliver another defeat to the Order, why not? We have to take advantage now, while they are still recovering from Starkiller»

«Well said Dameron. Get your squadron ready to fly, then»

«Yes, general!»

After the small crowd abandoned the room, Kylo dragged Rey with him. They stopped only when they managed to find an empty corridor.

«What’s going on?» she asked.

«I can’t stop you from coming with me» the Knight told her, looking his cousin in the eyes «But I can ask you once again to think about it. You are not ready»

The girl glared: «For what? Snoke?»

«I don’t think even your father might be ready for him» Kylo replied.

«And you are?»

«Not by far» his smile was sad «But I can’t run from this fight; you can»

«Well, I’m not» Rey said «And you better start getting used to it. I won’t let you go alone. Not a chance».

Kylo nodded: «Then I think you should meet someone first»

He stretched out his palms. Rey, a bit hesitant, put her hands in his and let him hold them.

«Close your eyes» he said.

The girl obeyed. At first, she felt nothing; then the Force began to flow through them, like a burning river. Rey felt like she was floating, as if her feet were no longer attached to the floor; she and Kylo were flying away from D’Qar, passing by worlds and star so fast she could barely catch sight of them.

«We’re travelling» she gasped.

«Uhm-uh» her cousin mumbled «That’s how _we_ communicate»

«We?»

«The Knights of Ren».

***

She had been surrounded by silence and darkness for longer than she could count; Jiho hadn’t found a way to leave the capital, so she had resolved to hide. Kylo would come looking for her. He always did. She had crawled in the sewers of the palace, descending as far as she could in the bowels of earth, until she discovered a recess in the wall big enough to be comfortable. The red-haired Knight, weary and breathless, sat in the darkness of her refuge and slept: she used the Force to slow the beating of her heart, to freeze her whole body in a death-like slumber. If Snoke searched for her, he wouldn’t found her. If someone had come near her while exploring the sewers, they’d have walked by without noticing Jiho. It wasn’t the first time she had practiced this trick and she knew she could last an entire month in that condition, without eating or drinking, but would it be enough? What if Kylo couldn’t reach her in time?

Her faith in him, unbroken despite Snoke’s insinuations, was what kept her alive. In her sleep, Jiho was still conscious enough to know if he was trying to reach to her through the Force; she had waited for his message, hour after hour, until time became meaningless. No one came. Jiho was about to lose hope, when she felt that familiar tickle on her nape.

« _Jiho_ »

The shadow of her master appeared behind her closed eyes.

«You took your time» the woman commented, sharply, trying to mask her joy.

Suddenly, she realized Kylo wasn’t alone: another ghost was at his side, one she had never sensed before. Wary, she examined the shadow, which in turn backed off, intimidated.

« _Don’t worry about her_ » Ren stopped her.

Jiho obeyed: «Where are you?»

« _I’m coming to get you_ » he answered « _But I need you to do something for me_ »

«Tell me» she said.

The shadow whispered his plan in her ear, before dissolving once again, as if he was never there. Jiho’s eye opened wide out in the darkness as an eager grin appeared on her lips. The red-haired Knight stretched her back and her fingers run on the cold shape of her spear, lying on the ground next to her.

Finally, a bit of action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what this means? It means it's only three f*cking chapters before I write "the end" 0____0  
> Which is... scary as Hell.


	11. Countdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Kylo struggles against time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terribly late T.T I'm so sorry, but I'm studying for my finals and it gets really hard to write! Anyway, here we are now, just two chapters from the end :D
> 
>  **Trivia** : the inspiration to create Jiho came from different sources; I based her appearance on the character of Lagertha, from the tv series “Vikings”, while her fighting style took a lot from Oberyn Martell, “Game of Thrones”. Finally, her name was inspired by Chiyo from “Hannibal”, which is probably my favourite series ever.

The roar of heating engines echoed through the landing field where the X-wings were preparing to take off; the long airstrip was crawling with pilots and droids, all there to make sure each fighter was ready for battle. Poe waved at Finn as he ran towards their spaceship, closely followed by BB-8; after their escape on the TIE, Poe had wanted him to become his copilot, so the boy was wearing too the orange suit of the Resistance.

«Here I am» Dameron panted, stopping near the aircraft «Sorry I’m late, I had to check few more things with Kylo. He said the prison is less defended for a ground assault, we could land some troops and… what’s the matter?»

Finn had his arms crossed and a hard look on his face: « _Kylo?_ »

«Yeah» Poe frowned «I still don’t understand.»

That was the last straw: «Am I the only one who didn’t forget what he did?» the boy exploded «He tortured you and Rey, he killed Solo and many others without hesitation, he’s our enemy, so why are you all helping him?!»

The pilot sighed: «So that’s the problem».  

« _Yes_ , that’s the problem!»

BB-8 gazed at the couple, beeping worryingly.

«No, buddy, we are not fighting» Poe reassured the droid.

«We are if you keep defending him» Finn replied «I don’t get what’s up with you or the general-»

«I’m not defending him!» the pilot snapped, silencing his friend.

Poe understood the boy’s suspicion and anger, because he had felt them himself, at first.

«Listen» he started, calmly «No one is defending Ren; he did horrible things and he has not come here to demand forgiveness, but Kylo has also given us the opportunity to attack the Order in their own nest. Finn, this battle could overturn the war in our favor.»

But he was not still convinced: «That’s you, but what about Rey? She’s on his side now, she has given him a second chance.»

«Your friend is a Jedi» the pilot replied «As far as I know forgiveness is part of their way. And I don’t see anything wrong with it, actually.»

«He doesn’t deserve it» Finn growled.

A sad light appeared in Poe’s look: «I remember giving a second chance to a stormtrooper, once.»

Catched off guard, Finn tried to open his mouth and answer, but he couldn’t find anything to say.

«You could have been a spy» the pilot continued, crossing his arms «Your could have pretended to help me only to lead the Order to BB-8; I knew the risks, but I decided to trust my guts and here we are. Who says it won’t turn out just as good with Kylo?»

The boy lowered his eyes: «I was not a murderer» he attempted to reply.

«This is war, Finn» Poe said, bitterly «In times of peace, we’d be all murderers. Look, I’m not saying you should forgive Ren or act like nothing ever happened, but can you at least trust me on this?»

The former stormtrooper hesitated. He knew the pilot wasn’t wrong, but just the thought of an alliance with Kylo gave him the chills.

«He almost killed me» Finn protested.

«Sorry for the back»

They both jumped and turned abruptly; the Knight was just a couple of meters from them, a tall shape dressed once again in black, who looked seriously in their direction.

«What?» Finn mumble when he recovered from the surprise.

«I said I’m sorry for hitting you in the back» Kylo repeated, patiently «But we can agree it was rather stupid to attack me with a lightsaber.»

The boy stared at him, confused, but it didn’t look like the Knight was mocking him. Since no answer came from Finn, Ren turned to Poe.

«And sorry for the whole… mind torture» he muttered.

The pilot gave him a faint smile: «Apology accepted.»

Ren nodded and strived away without a word. It was only then that Finn could regain control of himself.

«Hey!» he shouted, running after the Knight.

Kylo stopped and waited for him, curious about the boy’s urgent tone. The former stormtrooper stared at him, thinking about Poe’s words. Could it be the pilot was right about him?

«What happened to “traitor”?» Finn challenged him, but Ren barely shrugged.

«I’m a traitor as well» he answered, plainly.  

Finn would have prefered him to be blunt, aggressive; if only the Knight had tried to defend himself, it would have been easier to hate him, but Kylo seemed not to care. The former stormtrooper remembered what he had said a few hours before, talking with general Organa: he had offered himself as a prisoner and all the informations he had on the Order, just to save the life of another man, no less guilty than Kylo was. He couldn’t understand; he was little like the man he had fought on Starkiller Base.

«I know Rey is coming with you» he said, wary «I need you to promise me you’ll keep her safe.»

The Knight didn’t need someone to ask him that, but he replied: «I won’t let anything happen to her; you have my word.»

Satisfied, the boy nodded: «Good luck, then» and he ran back to his X-Wing.

For a while, Ren watched as him and Poe prepared the fighter to take off, but his mind was elsewhere; he still wasn’t sure letting Rey fight was a good idea. Sure, the girl was brave and undoubtedly talented, she had been taking care of herself for years on Jakku - all on her own - but she had never faced a true battle, where you had to fight more than one enemy at the time, where no matter how tired or wounded you could be: there was no rest, no chance to catch your breath before you or your adversaries were dead. And that was probably what they were going to face in the palace.

Kylo remembered his very first battle; it hadn’t be nice. It was nighttime and a storm raged on the field, illuminated only by the lightnings and the scarlet glow of the Knights’ weapons; rain had turned the soil into a treacherous slush, it was far too easy to make the wrong move and slip; and if you slipped, you died. The first few minutes of fighting had been inebriating; his lightsaber slashed through the enemy lines and left behind only corpses. The rain did little to cover the stench of blood and burned metal. But after a while, Kylo had realized the adversaries never ended; when he killed one of them, there was immediately a new one to take his place and another one after him. Ren was every slash more tired. It was like being trapped in a single moment, always repeating itself: cut, kill and again. Cut, kill and again. Cut, kill… His will to survive and the Knights backing him were the reason he had come out alive. Guided only by his instinct, Kylo had kept fighting until the sword found its way through the armor of the umpteenth enemy, who fell on the ground with a shriek. Kylo had turned to face the next one, when he had realized there was no one left: only a field full of bodies and the six Knights behind him. They had won, but for the first time they had realized what kind of game they would be playing from that day on. That battle had changed them for good and he feared that the one to come could do the same to his cousin.

Deeply immersed in his thoughts, Kylo reached the hangar where his mother and Luke were waiting for him; when he approached them, Rey was nowhere to be seen.

«Here» Luke said, handing him his lightsaber «You’re gonna need this.»

Kylo held it tight, reassured by the familiar feeling of the grip.

«Thank you, uncle» he replied, securing the weapon to his belt «Is your ship ready?»

«Actually there is a change of plan» Leia told him as they began to walk towards the back of the hangar «You’re going with the Falcon.»

Ren’s heart skipped a beat: «I’m not sure this is a good idea.»

«Ben-»

«What about Chewbacca? How do you think he can agree?»

«I already talked to Chewie» his mother reassured him.

«And Rey is waiting for us onboard» Luke added.

Kylo was about to reply, when something tall and furry sprang up in front of him, blocking his way. The Knight gazed up to meet the Wookie’s look; Chewbacca’s eyes pierced through him, not accusing but full of pain. They stared at each other in silence; Ren wasn’t sure whether to be frightened or not. He had never feared his father copilot. While the other kids ran away screaming, he knew he would always be safe in his arms. But all was different now.

«Chewie» he muttered with broken voice «I’m-»

But before he could finish, the Wookie had already trapped him in a tight, woolly hug, like the ones he used to give Ben when he was just a child. At first, Kylo froze, but something melted inside him. He hugged Chewie back; the arms of the Wookie cuddled him in a warm embrace.

«I’m sorry» Kylo told him, sinking his face deep in the furry chest.

A muffled roar answered him.

«Come» Luke interrupted them «There is no time to lose.»

***

MS-1126 and DT-1035 stared bored at the screen of Watchtower 12; it was still four hours before their next report, which was going to be just the same as always: shields functioning, no enemies on the radar, nothing at all happened. Everyday passed like this for the two stormtroopers since they had been assigned there; it was so boring they almost missed sanitation service.

«Have you heard about that new blaster model?» DT-1035 asked, breaking the silence.

MS-1126 shrugged: «A buddy of mine tried it. Said it’s not as good as the R8s.»

«I had an R8. It was shit.»

«No it’s not!» the other replied.

«It jams every bloody time»

«Never happened to me»

DT-1035 was about to answer back, when they heard a knock at the door. The stormtroopers hushed and turned to stare at the entrance, astounded. They exchanged a puzzled glance, then gazed back to the door. No one ever _knocked_. MS-1126 grabbed his blaster and warily approached the hatch. He stopped and listened; no sound came from the other side.

«What was that?» his partner said, reaching for his own weapon.

«Maybe it was just the ventilation system» he mumbled, not quite convinced himself.

They stood still, trying to catch even the slightest noise, but the only thing they could hear was the usual beeps of the instruments.

«Do you think we should open it?» MS-1126 asked.

DT-1035 hesitated: «Maybe… I don’t know.»

The knock came again, a little more insistent.

«I’m opening it» MS-1126 decided, charging his blaster.

«Wait!» DT-1035 jerked up from his seat «What if it’s a trap?»

Beneath the helmet, MS-1126 shot a skeptical glance at his partner: «Who would set up a trap _this_ stupid?»

Since the other had found no way to reply, the stormtrooper dialed the passcode; with a loud hiss, the hatch slid open but, to their surprise, the corridor behind was completely empty. Astounded, and a bit scared, the soldier stared at the silent alley. The cold neon lights left no shadows where to hide. There was no one there.

Nervous, he turned to DT-1035: «You _did_ hear that, didn’t you?»

«I think so...» he said, unsure.

«But it’s empty»

«Yes»

«Then who knocked?»

«I don’t know!» the situation was growing unnerving «What if we can’t see them?»

«What?»

«Yeah, what if it was a ghost?»

MS-1126 snorted, annoyed: «Don’t be ridiculous, there is no such thing as ghosts!»

«You’re so right.»

The stormtrooper felt a cold shiver crawling down his body: it wasn’t his partner’s voice who answered him. He turned around abruptly and discovered the corridor wasn’t empty anymore; there was a woman, red-haired and clothed from top to bottom in black. Her icy eyes paralyzed him on the spot.

«Boo!» she whispered, with an evil grin.

It was all MS-1126 could heard before Jiho’s spear pierced right through him.

***

When the Falcon dropped the hyperdrive and the capital of the First Order appeared before them, a tense silence fell in the cockpit. Kylo leaned over Rey, who occupied the pilot seat, to check the instruments; the radar showed the X-Wing squadron led by Poe had already left the hyperspace and was cruising not far behind them, but there was no way to know whether the shields were still up. Until they were certain they could reach the surface safely, they didn’t dare to move. An eerie stillness surrounded the attackers: the terrifying calm before the storm.

«So… What now?» Luke asked.

«Now» Kylo said, nervous «We hope Jiho is there to lower the shields and disable their radars.»

Rey’s voice was hesitant: «And if she’s not?»

«Well...» there was no other way to say it «Basically, we’re screwed.»

Chewie, sat in the copilot chair beside the girl, emitted a concerned growl.

«Yes, I know the plan sucks!» Kylo glared.

He grabbed the radio transmitter and started tinkering with it; if Jiho had followed his instruction, she should have been in Watchtower 12 by now, ready to let them in. Maybe he could try contact her. Snoke was too close to communicate through the Force; if they wanted to take the Order by surprise, they couldn’t risk it. There was a frequency only the Knights used; he set the speaker on it and took a deep breath.

«Jiho, this is Falcon, do you copy?» Kylo said in the microphone.

Only a low buzz answered back, sending a cold shiver of dread down his spine.

«Try again» Luke encouraged him.

«Jiho, this is Falcon» he repeated «Do you copy?»

Eternal seconds of silence followed.

Eventually, a voice creeped from the radio: « _Master Kylo, get your ass on the surface so I can kick it all the way to the palace._ »

Kylo grinned, overjoyed: «It’s good to hear you again, Jiho».

« _Don’t take the piss out of me. As soon as we are finished here, you and I have to talk._ »

«She has become a lovely woman» Luke muttered.

« _I fucking heard that!_ »

«Black leader» Rey called, changing the frequency to get in contact with Poe «The shields are down, you are free to go.»

« _Roger, Falcon! And good luck._ »

Out of the window, the small crew of the Falcon watched as the X-Wings descended to the surface at full speed. The assault had begun.

***

Rava had felt it, like an annoying tickle in the back of her neck.

«He’s here» she whispered.

Kylo Ren’s presence burned through the Force like a wildfire; he was searching for someone Rava made sure he’d never find. She gazed at the broken man at her feet. The Sith hadn’t spared herself; she had ransacked Hux’s heart and soul, leaving him destroyed, barely alive. Everything was going according to her plan.

She knelt down beside him: «I’m afraid our time is over.»

He didn’t move. Rava wasn’t even sure he could still hear her; she passed a hand through his fiery hair, in the mock of a caress.

«It was nice playing with you, Armitage» she told him with a sharp smile «Don’t worry: soon you won’t be suffering anymore.»

***

Kylo had barely stepped foot on the ground when Jiho rushed into his arms like a red and black hurricane.

«You bastard» she greeted him, hugging him tight «I’m fucking happy to see you.»

The Falcon had given time to Poe and his squadron to reach their target and start the attack. They had waited till the battle was engaged, then, after the enemy reinforcement arrived, the Falcon had made its way to the surface. Kylo guided Rey and Chewie to an empty field not far from the palace; up till then, it seemed no one had noticed them. Apparently, Jiho had managed to disable the Order’s radars as well. The Knight held her in his arms; she had got thinner and dark circles had appeared under her eyes, but she was alive. She carried with her a heavy backpack.

«I’m here» he said «And I’ll fix everything, I promise.»

She snorted, letting go of Kylo: «You better do it, master.»

The others had come out of the Falcon as well; while Rey looked at the red-haired woman with a mixture of curiosity and suspicion, something lighted up in Luke’s eyes when he saw Jiho and he couldn’t prevent himself from smiling faintly and stepping forward.

«Anlili» he called her.

Jiho’s face hardened immediately; she narrowed her icy eyes, menacing.

«That is not my name anymore» she growled between her teeth.

It felt like a slap for the Jedi; the smile faded away, killed by the woman’s coldness.

«Yes, you’re right» Luke admitted, bitterly «I’m sorry, Jiho Ren.»

Just for a moment, the Knight’s eyes softened; then, she turned to look Rey up and down.

«Who the hell are you?» Jiho asked, scornful.

But the girl didn’t allow herself to be intimidated by the other’s inquisitive glare: «I am Rey Skywalker».

The woman stared at her, thoughtfully: «Wait a minute» she said after a moment «You are _the_ Rey, aren’t you? The one who beat Kylo’s ass and left that lovely mark on his face?»

The one concerned glared and the young Jedi blushed: «Yes.»

A ferocious grin appeared on Jiho’s face: «You go, girl!»

«We don’t have much time» Ren pointed out, annoyed «Did you bring what I asked?»

«Of course!» she replied and with a swift movement Jiho took off the backpack. She laid it on the ground, next to her spear, and started opening it.

«Here we go» she said, extracting two bundles of black clothes from it «I brought yours and Theda’s; it should fit.»

Rey frowned. She had a bad feeling about it.

«Fit what?»

«Fit you» her cousin explained, confirming her fear.

«That’s a Knight suit» she protested «I can’t wear that, I’m a Jedi.»

Jiho snorted: «It’s not like it will infect you with the Dark Side, you know?»

«Listen» Kylo said as he handed her the robe «This isn’t just a uniform: it’s an armor. It will protect you if you can’t parr a shot or dodge it.»

«Luke doesn’t wear any armor» Rey replied, stubborn.

«That’s because I’m more trained than you are» the Jedi said.

She turned to look at her father like he had just stabbed her in the back.

«You should wear it» he told her with a tone that allowed no replies «Otherwise, you could stay here and guard the Falcon with Chewbacca».

The Wookie roared in approval.

Grumbling, Rey snatched the clothes from Jiho’s hands, a sting of anger in her chest; the girl knew the others were fighters far more seasoned than she was, but it still hurt to be considered the fifth wheel. She glanced at the woman, with her arrogant smile and the cold, resolute look in her eyes; she was the first female Force user Rey had met and she seemed so strong. The Jedi envied her a bit. No one asked Jiho Ren to put extra protection on.

The red-haired woman gently grabbed her arm and began to draw her towards the Falcon.

«I’ll help you» Jiho said «The first time it can be tricky to put on.»

As the two entered the ship, Luke turned to his nephew with a thankful look.

«I wasn’t sure you’d really do it» the Jedi confessed.

Kylo shrugged: «You asked me, so I told Jiho to get her a suit as well.»

«Still» Skywalker said «Thank you.»

Inside the Falcon, Jiho had asked Rey to take the jacket off and remain in her tank top. While the girl stripped, the other grabbed the uniform and opened it up.

«You know» Ren said as she helped her get into the suit «You shouldn’t be ashamed of wearing an armor.»

«I’m not» Rey lied.

«Yes you are.»

«Are you reading my thoughts?» the girl realized.

Jiho chuckled: «You are very loud; hasn’t Luke taught you how to hide yourself?»

«No» Rey muttered «Not yet.»

«As I was saying» the other continued, adjusting the buckles on the back; the armor was a bit too tight-fitting for Rey, who gasped, breathless «Admitting a weakness is intelligence, while ignoring it is not courage: it’s stupidity. Do you prefer to be stupid and dead or clever and alive?»

«I can’t breathe» the girl exhaled as a response.

«You’re not used to it; it’s normal» Jiho replied, curt; she examined Rey top to bottom with a satisfied nod «I think the chest part will be enough.»

«They don’t trust me, do they?» the Jedi asked «They think I’m not ready for this.»

For a few seconds Jiho just stared at her, frowning; then, the Knight grabbed Rey by the shoulders, their eyes fixed together.

«I’ll tell you a secret, Rey Skywalker» the woman said, bitterly «You will never be ready for what life throws against you. Never. Now, you must know we might not see the next dawn; all Kylo is trying to do is giving you a better chance and not because he thinks you’re weak. Damn it, you _beat him_ , that’s something I’ve tried to do since the day I met that bastard.»

Jiho laughed. The girl couldn’t help thinking it was a very sad laugh, full of pain and unspoken words.

The Knight shook her head: «You want to feel useful? Don’t make Kylo and Luke worry for you. Be able to defend yourself with every mean necessary, even wearing an armor. They won’t focus on the fight if they believe you’re in danger. And show them how great you are, understood?»

To her amazement, Rey found herself admiring Jiho; a tiny voice in the back of her head reminded her that the Knights followed the ways of the Dark Side and a true Jedi shouldn’t feel respect for them, but she didn’t care. She was starting to like that mysterious, bossy woman who seemed to be afraid of nothing.

«Understood» Rey said, more confident now.

The other grinned, satisfied: «Let’s go then.»

When they stepped out of the Falcon once again, Rey raised her eyes, searching for the others, but for a moment she froze on the spot: Kylo had changed as well, putting on his old suit and hood; as he turned towards her, the Jedi saw he was wearing the helmet too, the dark mask that seemed to have risen from her very nightmares. Her cousin was Kylo Ren once again. Rey’s look must have been terrified, because her father came near her and asked if she was okay. She muttered she was fine.

«Chewie, keep the Falcon warm, we’ll need to escape quickly» Kylo’s voice said, eerily distorted by the inhalator. Rey couldn’t hold back a shiver; it took her a lot of effort to remember the man behind the mask. She realized she had always thought about her cousin and the Knight as two different people, ignoring Kylo’s most frightening and sinister part.

“Get a hold of yourself, Rey” she thought, trying to reassure herself “It’s still him, not a monster.”

The girl was still shaken when they began to strive towards the bare hills, in the direction of the palace; Jiho and her master led the way, two shadows just a little more concrete than the night sky.  

***

They followed the red-haired Knight on phantom paths through the rocks, in complete silence; if Rey hadn’t been in line between her cousin and Luke, she would have probably got lost in the dark. As the time went by and the landscape remained just the same, she got tenser; the Jedi couldn’t help thinking about her friends - Poe, Finn and BB-8 - fighting not far from them; Rey wished she could hear the sound of the battle in the distance, so she might have at least tried to guess if they were winning.

A few steps in front of her, Kylo had other thoughts in mind. Being in his old clothes again was terribly good; he felt confident and powerful, ready to fight.

“I’m coming, Hux.”

It was a matter of minutes, now. He would have dragged the General away from Snoke and this time, Kylo promised himself, he would never allow him to leave again.   

Suddenly, they halted and Rey almost bumped into his back.

«We are here» Kylo murmured, grim.

Rey gazed past her cousin’s back, searching the shadows; at first she saw nothing, then she noticed Jiho had stopped in front of what seemed to be the entrance of a tunnel; it was blocked by an iron grid and the rusty rods reminded her of the fangs of some monstrous animal. Their door to the palace. By the smell of it, the Jedi guessed they were about to enter the sewers.

«We’ll get as deep in the building as we can» Kylo explained «We won’t be able to reach the prisons through the tubes; sooner or later, we’ll have to fight. Once we are in the dungeons, you take Hux and get away.»

«What about you?» Jiho asked.

«I’ll hold them back» ha answered, plainly.

She snarled: «I won’t leave you.»

«You will» he ordered «Because if we both die, who will take care of the others?»

Jiho didn’t insist further.

This time it was Kylo who took the lead; with just the wave of his hand, the Knight Force-bent the rods and marched into the tunnel, followed by the others. He didn’t need any kind of light: Ren moved through the dark guided only by his consciousness, stretched around him as far as he could; he felt the corridors and the stairs, the rats and the stormtroopers walking meters above their heads but, no matter how much he searched, he couldn’t feel Hux anywhere. A grip of panic clutched his stomach. He told himself it meant nothing; Snoke might have been hiding the General’s presence, in case Kylo had tried to find him. Hux was still alive, he had to be, and every step the Knight took was a step closer to him. He would save the officer, no matter the cost.

They were beginning their climb towards the upper floors; the inevitable battle was near. Adrenaline started pumping in Kylo’s veins. He would have stayed behind and allow the others to reach safety, because he believed he had a chance against Snoke, but not one he could tell Luke or Rey about; the more he thought about it, the more he convinced himself that the only way to save Hux was give in to the Dark Side, once and for all. He needed power, an outrageous amount of it, if he wanted to fight the Supreme Leader, and the eternal dilemma between light and darkness was only holding him back; it was time to make a choice, so Kylo had chosen. Anyway, he was already knee deep into the Dark Side, why shouldn’t he drown in it?

Ren halted and leaned on the wall in front of him, listening. That service door was supposed to be their way out of the sewers, but it seemed like the corridor behind it wasn’t empty; Kylo could clearly feel the presence of stormtroopers, at least six of them, and they were all nervous. He creeped into their minds: they knew the Resistance attacked; the shields were malfunctioning and no one seemed able to repair them - Jiho had done a wonderful job - and they feared the enemies would win. They were frustrated because they were ordered to stay in the palace and not get involved in the battle. Kylo frowned; why didn’t they fight? And it wasn’t just them, as he discovered exploring their thoughts: the whole palace guard didn’t join the battle against the Resistance. They stayed because… Ren’s heart sank. They stayed because the Supreme Leader told them there were intruders in the building! With a growing sense of nausea, he turned to gaze at Rey. Snoke had felt her. Stupid, stupid Kylo, why didn’t you think of hiding her presence? It was too late now; instead of a few enemies, they would have to face the entire garrison. His heart raced so fast he feared it would have exploded; if Snoke knew they were inside, maybe it was too late - a wave of panic engulfed him - maybe the dungeons had already been set on fire.

He couldn’t resist any longer. With a roar, he pushed the door open and stormed outside, his lightsaber springing as a red lightning. The stormtroopers didn’t even have the time to understand what was going on: Ren took out two of them with a single blow; the others tried to raise their blasters, but before they could shoot the Knight was on them. He killed three more with the lightsaber and sent another one flying against the wall; the impact snapped the private’s neck. Footsteps. Kylo turned to see a soldier tinkering with a communicator; his hands were shaking and his voice was reduced to a terrified whimper as he blabbered an alarm in the device. He raised his hand, ready to suffocate him, but Jiho spear had already flown passed him and nailed the trooper to the wall. As sudden as it was started, the fight was over.

«What the fuck, Kylo?!» the woman snarled, retrieving her weapon; the corpse fell on the ground like a macabre doll «If we walk out of here alive, I’m so gonna kill you.»

Luke’s voice reached him as well: «I thought we had to avoid fighting.»

Still full of rage and fear, Ren looked at him and Rey; the shaken expression of his cousin hurt, but he had something far more urgent to worry about than letting her down. And Luke’s hard tone only managed to increase his rage.

«They know we are here» he snarled, from beneath the helmet «None of the guards has left the palace, I need to hurry or Hux will die!»

Luke opened his mouth to reply, but the sound of hurried steps and angry voices from the end of the corridor silenced him. They were coming.

«We have no choice» Jiho said, spinning her spear around with an eager grin «We’ll fight our way to the prisons.»

A platoon of stormtroopers appeared from behind the corner. Luke activated his lightsaber as well, quickly followed by Rey; the Jedi didn’t like where this was going and he was unsettled by the amount of rage that came from Kylo. He was oozing bloodlust. Before Luke could stop them, the black Knights sprang forward to meet the enemy. Jiho’s war cry filled their ears. When the two sides collided, it seemed the numerous soldiers had taken advantage, but it was a matter of seconds before they began to pull back, retreating under the blood-red slashes. Kylo and Jiho were a terrifying spectacle to watch; they kept gaining ground at each step and left behind them a growing number of corpses. Luke had no idea of how deep they were in the Dark Side; even after he and Rey joined the fight, the Knights showed no mercy.

Kylo was letting go of every control, allowing the fear for Hux’s destiny to fill him and guide his sword. He had to go on, he wouldn’t allow himself to stop for nothing. He couldn’t parr a couple of shots, but the pain just increased his power. With Jiho at his side, he launched forward, through corridors and stairs, in a desperate race against time. One more turn, one more ladder, one step closer to the prisons. They were almost there! A cry behind him distracted him; as in a rallenty, he saw a stormtrooper hit Rey, her lightsaber escape her hand and the enemy running closer to give the final blow. Luke didn’t see it. Kylo changed direction to aid her, but before he could reach her the laser of a blaster centered the private right in the spine. He collapsed on the floor, just a few centimeters from the young Jedi.

Astounded, Ren gazed around him to see where the shot had come from and he found himself staring at Phasma’s chromed armor. The Captain wasn’t wearing her helmet and held a blaster tight in her arms; she stared back at him. Kylo didn’t know what to think.

«You’re welcome» the blond woman said, breaking the impasse.

«No one asked you for assistance» he snarled back after he helped Rey to stand up.

The girl had a nasty bruise on her left shoulder, but she seemed otherwise okay. Around them, Luke and Jiho took down the last enemies in the room.

«Are you alright?» he asked his cousin, using the breather to take the helmet off.

Rey was pale, but she nodded: «I’m fine.»

«Good» Kylo turned to glare at Phasma «What game are you playing, Captain?»

It was Jiho who answered him: «Kylo, it’s alright. She’s the one who helped me escape».

He gazed at his first officer, skeptical: «Is it so?»

«She saved my life» the red-haired woman insisted «She defied Snoke’s orders and let me go.»

Kylo had no reason to doubt her words, but he didn’t understand how it could be true; Phasma was part of the stormtrooper program, one of its greatest successes, she was raised to obey without question.

«Why?» he asked the Captain.

The shadow of a smile appeared on her lips: «For my master.»

«Snoke is your master.» Kylo replied.

The communicator on Phasma arm beeped and a voice creeped from it: « _Captain, report! Where are the intruders?_ »

They were all looking at the blond woman, now; Kylo held the saber tight, ready to jump on her the second she made a move to answer the call, but Phasma kept her eyes on him, as if she hadn’t heard at all.

« _C_ _aptain, come in!_ »

«My master» the soldier said, softly «My General.»

She grabbed the communicator and ripped it off; the device smashed on the ground.

«You are here for him as well, aren’t you?»

Finally, Ren understood.

«Yes» he confirmed, relieved «Yes, I’m here for Hux.»

«I’ll lead you to him» Phasma said «They have taken him to-»

«The palace prisons» Kylo interrupted her «I know.»

She frowned: «How?»

«There is no time to explain» Jiho cut her off «Do you have the key to that place?»

«I do»

«Hurry up, then!»

They ran, following Phasma through the corridors; for the very first time since the battle had begun, Kylo started to hope. They would make it in time; soon he would be holding the General in his arms.

“I’m coming, Hux” he thought “I’m coming for you.”

Suddenly, the doors of the dungeon appeared at the end of the corridor, a tall hatch of black metal that loomed over them as a terrifying sentinel. Kylo’s heart made a leap; Hux was just a few meters away from him.

«Quick» he shouted to Phasma «Give me the key!»

She threw him a metal card; the Knight grabbed it in mid-air and rushed to the control panel. He still couldn’t feel the officer’s presence, but he pushed that thought away. He didn’t need to feel him; Hux was right there, he _had_ to be.

«We made it!» Rey exalted.

Her father passed an arm around her shoulders; Luke was still agitated by the fight, but he allowed himself to put his worries off, for now.

«Yes, dear» he said «We made it.»

At their side, Jiho stared at the entrance, a cold grip clutching her stomach. While her master was busy trying to opening them, the woman repeatedly pushed her consciousness past the doors; each time the feeling of dread inside her grew. She heard the hinges screeching and howling; Kylo got a few steps back, right in front of the opening gates. Something was wrong.

« _Kylo!_ »

Jiho pushed him away just in time: the doors of the prisons swung open, vomiting a wave of flames into the corridor. The Knight felt the scorching claws skimming his clothes. The roar of fire left him deaf and paralyzed; all he could hear was the beating of his own heart, thundering so violently he thought it would have ripped his chest apart. The dungeons were on fire. It was all around them. Fire. Nothing but fire.

And the nauseating stink of burning flesh filling the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, don't shoot the writer!


	12. The Darkest Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where the First Order doesn’t fall alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **IMPORTANT!**   
>  Serious gruesome shit is gonna happen in this chapter; the “graphic description of violence” warning is at maximum level. It actually came out more brutal than I first thought… 
> 
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>  **Trivia:** Other two Knights - Theda and Agro Ren - were supposed to appear in the first draft of this story, but I realized that would have moved the focus away from Kylo and Hux and so I kept only Jiho.

Kylo couldn’t take his eyes off the wall of fire that raged beyond the wide open doors of the prison. It was identical to the one in his vision only, this time, he couldn’t hear Hux’s voice calling him from the flames. He never would. It couldn't be, not after all he did to get there; it just wasn’t possible that Kylo didn’t make it in time to save him. He felt frozen inside, paralyzed by the sight of the flames and the truth he couldn't bring himself to accept.

«We have to go inside» he muttered.

«Kylo, there’s nothing down there» Jiho said softly, beside him «Nothing alive, at least.»

He still held the lightsaber tight in his hand; Ren let it slip and hit the floor with a deafening, metallic noise. Anyway, what was the point of it? He didn’t need it. It had not been enough.

“I failed.”

Hux was - hell, how could he even formulate that thought - gone. Hux was _dead_. And Kylo felt he was dead as well, despite the heart thundering in his chest.

«I failed» he exhaled, mostly to himself.

And yet, Luke had the guts to answer: «You did all you could.»

Kylo turned to stare at his uncle: «No, I didn’t. And you know that.»

«Ben-»

«I LET HIM DIE» he exploded, vomiting all his desperation on the Jedi «I lied to him, I let him leave and now he is dead _because I couldn’t reach him in time!_ »

This time, no one dared to reply. Phasma barely glanced at him, before fixing her eyes on the fire again. Both Luke and Jiho lowered their looks, unable to stand his anger. The only one who didn’t gazed away was Rey. Sweet, young Rey, still so unbelievingly innocent even after all she went through; she stared at him with no fear or pity. She was the only one who truly understood.

«All I wanted was to protect him» Kylo said, talking to her cousin as if she was the only person in the room «Instead, I might have just killed him with my own hands.»

«That is so true.»

Despite the fire, the temperature of the chamber seemed to drop at the sound of that voice. Ren looked back to the stairs where they had come from; the tall shadow blocked most of the light, looming from the steps with his aura of darkness. Snoke was there. Slowly, calmly, the Supreme Leader descended the ladder; his icy eyes skimmed over the group, a malicious satisfaction shining in them.

«Lord Ren» Snoke grinned «You’re back at last; I missed you, my apprentice. And the General missed you too.»

Pain twisted in Kylo’s chest.

«And look what you brought me! None less that Luke Skywalker and the famous girl who beat you» he continued, examining Rey with a look that made her shiver. She realized in that moment how dangerous he was and why Kylo didn’t want her to fight him.

«I’ll take care of you later» Snoke’s stare moved to Phasma «And of you, captain. I hoped you had more sense.»

The woman snarled: «I have enough to choose who I follow.»

The Supreme Leader’s laugh was sharp and cruel: «Oh, yes, your precious General Hux» he turned to Kylo again «You gave me just the excuse to get rid of him. I thank you for that.»

The Knight lost any color.

« _You bastard!_ » Jiho screamed and sprang forward, her spear pointing  to Snoke’s chest.

It only took a wave of his hand: the Supreme Leader lifted the woman in mid-air and launched her against the wall; Jiho hit it with a cry and the sound of cracking bones. She laid on the ground, in agonizing pain. Her mouth tasted of blood.

«No!»

Rey activated her lightsaber, quickly followed by Luke. Phasma raised her blaster, determined to wipe out the smile from Snoke’s face but, before they could even make a step, Kylo’s voice froze them on the spot: «Hold it.»

It wasn’t the Knight’s words that stopped them, but their lucid, extreme coldness. Rey stared at her cousin, almost unable to recognize him; she saw something. Something that felt like an icy touch on her back. His eyes weren’t the same as before. Nor was his voice.

«He is mine.»

No one dared to argue. Even Snoke seemed different; suddenly he looked way more interested, almost excited. He stared at Kylo and only at him.

«He didn't have to die» Ren said.

«You made a traitor out of him» the Leader replied, mocking «His blood is on your hands.»

«No. I wanted to protect him.»

«The way you protected your father?»

Kylo’s jaw tightened.

«Don’t listen to him!» Jiho tried to get back on her feet; the broken ribs made every breath painful and blood spilled from her broken lip «He’s toying with your head.»

The Knight turned to his first officer, pricing through her with fiery eyes. Rey gasped: his irises were not black anymore; they blazed in the dark like golden ambers, reflecting the flames. Terrified, the girl turned to her father for answers, but he looked just as shocked as she was.

«I said he is mine» Kylo repeated in a low growl.

Jiho shivered and stepped back.

«He didn’t want to betray you; I even offered him my forgiveness, but he refused» Snoke continued, with a grin of triumph «I had to break him to understand why. Love is the undoing of us all, isn’t it?»

Ren’s heart skipped a beat.

«Oh» the other understood, suddenly «You didn’t know.»

Luke stepped forward: «Ben, don’t let the pain overwhelm you; he’s trying to push you into the Darkness, it’s a trap!»

But the Knight didn’t even gaze at him: «The Darkness...» he muttered, as if he was savoring the words on his tongue «I don’t need him to push me.»

Snoke could almost feel it: the taste of freedom. Adrenaline ran in his veins, exciting him. He made it; he finally brought Kylo Ren into the abyss and now his apprentice was ready to unleash his power on Rava. All Snoke had to do was bend him to his will. He grinned; the offspring of the Skywalkers might even have a great power, but he had always been superior in playing with the other’s head. The boy had no chance now.

«Let me show you...» Snoke said, stretching the fingers of his mind to Kylo’s, ready to grasp it «The Dark Side.»

The Supreme Leader froze; he couldn’t penetrate him. Instead of the confused and vulnerable consciousness he was expecting, he found himself facing a solid wall. Snoke flinched; he couldn't understand. What was going on?

«No, master» Kylo eyes shined brighter « _I_ will show you the Dark Side.»

Snoke had barely the time to realize he was afraid. The mind wall began to push back, inch by inch; incredulous, the Leader tried to hold it, but no matter how much power he used: there was no stopping it. Snoke raised his hands, concentrating all his energies in the struggle, while panic rose in his chest. Ren stood still; he didn’t even move a finger.

“No _no!_ ”

Cold sweat ran down Snoke’s back and forehead. The wall got closer and closer, surrounding him, taking his breath away. It grasped his body like a predator’s claws.

“ _NO_ ”

And Kylo began to squeeze. Snoke’s desperate resistance was useless; the unbearable pressure tore a bloodcurdling scream from his throat. The arms were the first to break: bones fractured and ripped the flesh; blood ran freely on his skin and soaked his clothes. This was not what it was supposed to happen!

Kylo lifted his former master mid-air and twisted the joints of his legs. He was deaf to Snoke’s cries; all he could hear was the roaring of the fire. A red puddle started forming beneath the Supreme Leader. Ren dug into his chest, tearing the organs from the inside. Blood invaded Snoke’s lungs; he was drowning in it. His rib cage collapsed and the Leader knew he was about to die. The last thing he heard, before his head was squeezed into a pulp of bones and brain matter, was Kylo’s excruciating scream.

Snoke’s blood rained on the floor. His dismembered corpse floated for a few more second, then Kylo let it collapse. Exhausted, Ren fell on his knees. The only thing that broke the astounded silence was the crackling of the flames.

Everyone stared at pile of flesh, blood and bones that used to be a living man not so long before, speechless. It was so horrible Rey wished it was just a nightmare. Her eyes were chained to it; she couldn’t look away.

Jiho had a violent retching and leaned over to vomit.

«My lady!» Phasma woke up to get in her aid.

The stormtrooper held her hair back, letting the woman free her stomach.

«We need to tell everyone» Luke muttered «Our friends are still fighting, but if Snoke is dead...»

«Then the First Order has fallen» the captain finished.

The Jedi stared grimly at his nephew, still kneeling on the floor, motionless.

Rey anticipated his thoughts: «I’ll stay with him, you go with Phasma.»

Luke nodded: «Is there a radio nearby?» he asked the stormtrooper.

«I’ll get you there» she answered.

«I’m coming too» Jiho muttered.

«My lady, are you sure you can move?»

The Knight shivered: «I can’t stand the sight of that _thing_.»

As Phasma helped her stand up, Luke hugged his daughter tightly: «Be careful.»

The girl was still too shocked to do anything but nod. After a last gaze at Kylo, Skywalker followed Jiho and Phasma out of the room. Trying not to look at the bloody remains on the ground, Rey approached her cousin. He was staring at the void; his head hang low on the chest. She couldn’t see if his eyes were gone back to normal.

«Kylo» she said, placing a hand on his shoulder «We can’t stay here, please...»

The silence that followed seemed eternal. Eventually, Ren leaned to pick up the lightsaber he had left on the floor; he held it tight.

«There is somewhere…» Kylo muttered with a distant voice «Somewhere I need to go.»

***

«To all troops, this is captain Phasma speaking: Supreme Leader Snoke is _dead_. The Knights of Ren have killed him and taken control of the Order. All men must lay down their weapons and surrender themselves to the Resistance. I repeat: Snoke is dead. Lay down your weapons and surrender to the Resistance.»

Phasma switched off the microphone and silence fell once again in the control room; the woman turned to glance at Jiho and Skywalker, who watched the whole operation from behind her. The Knight was leaning against a wall, her eyes lost in the distance, and she grabbed onto her spear like it was the only concrete thing in the world; Phasma had never seen her so devastated, not even after she was tortured by the Supreme Leader.

The captain couldn’t believe Hux was gone. She couldn’t believe the Order had fallen. She was still shocked by Snoke’s gruesome death; Phasma had seen many massacres in her life, she had killed without hesitation when Hux ordered so, but what Kylo Ren had done was at a whole new level. She couldn’t blame Jiho for vomiting; Phasma had been too scared even to move.

«What’s going to happen to me, now?» she asked Luke, bluntly.

The Order had declared war to the whole Galaxy and now its enemies would have all fought to claim their corpses. Without protection, many were going to die and she didn’t trust the Resistance to shelter them, no matter how different from the Order they pretended to be.

The Jedi shrugged: «The same that will happen to the Knights and everyone else, I guess. You’re a prisoner, there will probably be a trial.»

Phasma tensed up.

«Don’t worry» Luke tried to reassure her «We’ll tell general Organa you defied your superiors for us, it will help you get a better treatment.»

«And what about my men?»

«What about them?»

«Will you leave them to slaughter? Or will you kill them yourself?» she hissed.

«Of course not! The Resistance doesn’t work that way.»

Phasma’s eyes narrowed: «The Rebels used to say just the same, but I heard a different story.»

«I guess» Luke snorted, caught off guard «You are referring to the Palpatines.»

«Will you deny the Rebels murdered the whole Imperial family?» she challenged him.

«It was a tragedy, a crime carried on by a radical branch» the Jedi replied «My sister is in charge now; she won’t let anything like that happen again.»

The captain had serious doubts about that.

«And does Organa have so much influence on the Republic?» Jiho participated, giving voice to Phasma’s worries.

«She has enough» the Jedi replied, barely gazing at her.

The Knight nodded: «That’s what I thought.»

And before Luke could even realize what was going on, Ren sprang forward and hit him on the nape with her spear. Skywalker collapsed face down on the floor.

«What-» Phasma stared in shock at the unconscious Jedi «What are you doing?»

Jiho poked him lightly to make sure he had blacked out: «It’s fine; he will just wake up with an headache.»

«My lady» the other insisted «What’s the meaning of this?»

Jiho glared at her, almost annoyed: «What does it look like? I’m saving your ass.»

The stormtrooper looked at her with her mouth open, too shocked to answer.

«A “thank you” would be nice.»

Phasma got a hold of herself: «Yes, thank you my lady, but I don’t understand-»

«If you call me “my lady” again, I swear I’ll personally deliver you to the Republic.»

The captain shut up.

«I don’t like to be in debt» Jiho explained, toying with her spear «You saved my life Phasma, I haven’t forgot it. So let me pay what the fuck is due and get lost… Do you have anywhere to go? Someone who can protect you and your men?»

She thought about it: «Yes. There is someone I need to see.»

«Good, then take whoever you can and go; get a cruiser, before the Resistance secures them as well.»

The Knight sat on a chair with a snort; her ribs hurt like hell. She was going to find some nasty bruises under the armor.

«Come with me» Phasma said.

Jiho tilted her head, curious: «Seriously?»

«You are a prisoner as well, that’s what he said» Phasma pointed at Luke, still laying on the ground «We can escape together.»

For a while, Ren just stared at the other in silence, then a bitter smile appeared on her lips: «I can’t deny it’s tempting, but I refuse. My master needs me; I have to be on his side now more than ever. You can understand it quite well, can’t you?»

She did. With a painful lump forming in her throat, Phasma offered her hand to Jiho; they grasped each other’s wrists and held tight, as farewell.

«You are a good fighter, captain» the Knight told her «I wish you good luck.»

Phasma nodded: «And to you, Jiho Ren. I hope we meet again on the battlefield.»

She smiled: «We will, I promise.»

***

The loud humming of the elevator was the only thing that prevented complete silence to surround Rey and Kylo. The Jedi glanced worriedly at her cousin; he hadn’t said a single word since they left the prison gates. At least, his eyes were once again black. Rey wasn’t sure of what that change of color meant, but she had the feeling it wasn’t good. The way he had crushed Snoke… Just the memory of it was enough to make her sick.

Kylo had guided her through corridors and halls, until they found an elevator. As they ascended, Rey read the numbers progressing on the screen; level 12, 13, 14 and so on. Where was Kylo leading them? The cabin kept climbing, one floor after the other, and still the Knight remained confined in his silence. All the girl wanted to do was help him, but she couldn’t think of anything meaningful to say. Hux was gone and the grief had unleashed a power in Kylo that scared Rey like hell. Part of her was afraid she had lost her cousin for good.

She couldn’t take it any longer, so she forced herself to speak: «Kylo, where are we going?»

Ren didn’t show any sign of hearing her.

«Kylo?»

Still no reaction. Maybe she could touch him, grab his hand or something, but he seemed so far away he wouldn’t even notice if she did. Anyway, Rey leaned closer and tried once again.

«Ben?»

This time, something changed in his eyes, as if he had suddenly awaken from a long sleep. He glanced at her slightly, but didn’t reply.  

«Where are you taking me, Ben?» she insisted.

The sharp “bing” of the elevator answered her, along with a recorded voice, announcing they had reached the twentieth floor. The door slid open and Kylo quickly stepped out. Rey had to run to keep up. She followed her cousin down an empty but elegant corridor, that curved slightly to the right. Every few meters, they met doors with numbers next to them; the Jedi couldn’t understand what Ren was looking for. Eventually, she saw him stop. The entrance was marked “8” and it seemed no different from the others, but Kylo stared at it as a thirsty man would have stared at water.

«It’s locked» he muttered. There was infinite pain in his voice.

Rey gazed around until she spotted a switchboard on the opposite wall.

«Give me a second» she said.

The board was simple enough to pry open; the Jedi tinkered with the many wires, trying to find the one that could unlock Kylo’s door. It didn’t take long to spot the right circuit and Ren didn’t wait for her when the entrance spread open. Rey had to hurry, before it could close again. What she found behind it left her confused: it seemed to be an apartment, almost luxurious, with beautiful furniture, pieces of art and an enormous library full of books. The Jedi had never seen anything like that in her entire life. What were they doing there? Were they Kylo’s quarters from when he lived in the palace? In the corner of her eye, she noticed her cousin disappearing in another room; she decided to give him some time alone and have a closer look to the flat. In particular, she was drawn by the large windows, now shut; fascinated, Rey got closer and quickly found the switch to open the blinds. A large terrace spread before her and, past the railing, the nocturnal landscape of the capital stretched till the horizon. They must have been pretty high up.

Rey turned to stare at the room again; nothing in there spoke about Kylo. But then, whose apartment was it? The girl looked around her, searching for a clue to discover who the flat belonged to. Her gaze fell on a shelf and the holograms on it. She took one, examining it closely. It was the picture of a family: an old chubby man with big ginger mustaches, a thin woman with hollow eyes and a younger boy, who looked strangely familiar. None of them were smiling. The young man and his father sat rigidly, but the older one had his hand gently resting on his son’s shoulder, like he was trying to protect him. Their bond seemed the only true one in the picture, as if the woman had been just a stranger, placed there to fill a void in the frame.

Suddenly, Rey recognized the boy: he was younger and his eyes were less hard than she remembered, but he was undoubtedly General Hux. Her heart sank. She put the hologram back where she had found it and ran after Kylo.

The Jedi found him in the bedroom. There was a wardrobe open in front of him and clothes scattered on the floor; Ren was sitting on the mattress, his face sunk deep in the black cloth of the jacket he was clinging to, a long and dark coat, with shining grades stitched on the left sleeve. He held it tight against his chest, like the most precious treasure in the universe. Hux’s coat. Rey couldn’t even try to imagine what kind of pain Kylo was going through.

She walked to him and touched his arm. He didn’t move; he was so still Rey feared he had stopped breathing. But then Kylo raised his head and looked at her; his eyes were dry, empty depths. The Jedi sat next to him.

«I’m sorry, Ben» the girl said, barely holding back the tears «I’m so sorry.»

He didn’t answer, but it was alright. She was going to give him all the time he needed.

«I can’t feel anything» Kylo said, breaking the silence all of a sudden.

Rey stared at him, worried about the tremble she had heard in his voice: «What?»

«The Force» he explained «I can’t feel it anymore. I can’t feel _anything_.»

***

Allarms. Shouts. Figures running, shooting, calling for mercy. Poe was deafened by that cacophony, echoing through the corridors of the prison where they had broken in at last. After Captain Phasma’s order of surrender, it didn’t take his squadron long to get the upper hand on the confused enemies; many had dropped their weapons and fled before the X-wings could even touch the ground, other had kept fighting, but their defense was weak and discouraged. The Resistance secured the prison in a matter of minutes. They had won. Most of them still couldn’t believe it, but the message had been clear: Snoke was dead and the First Order had fallen. Despite the weariness, Poe couldn’t help smiling, thinking the fight was finally over; all thanks to a man he called “enemy” not long before. He wondered if Kylo had found a way to reach his general in time. When the Knight had exposed them his plan, Poe had wanted to help him straight away; not because it had the right amount of craziness he loved, nor for his loyalty towards general Organa: simply, he would have done just the same for Finn. The pilot glanced back and observed the boy he was falling in love with, who was helping the other Resistance fighters to open the cells; Poe felt a sweet grip in his chest. If they had captured him, Dameron knew he would have gone to Hell and back in order to save him, just like Kylo did.

«Poe» a sergeant approached him «This level is almost finished and, according to the registers we found, there are no prisoners in the cells below»

He nodded: «Good, then let’s bring these people home as soon as we can»

«Yessir!»

The pilot was about to walk away, when something over the sergeant’s shoulder caught his eye and sent a shiver of fear down his back. Poe’s face lost any color.

«What is that?» he asked, alarmed.

The other turned abruptly, but the figure had disappeared: «I see nothing»

«There was a woman» Poe insisted.

«You mean one of us? Or a prisoner?»

«No, I saw a woman with a red cloak, right _there_ » he replied, pointing at the narrow stairs that descended towards the lower levels.

Poe strived past the sergeant and approached the ladder; it was rusty, barely illuminated, but even in the dusk he could see there was no sign of the woman. Yet he couldn’t have just dreamed her!

«She was here» he mumbled, not even sure the sergeant was still listening «She had a red cloak and her eyes...» he trembled «They glowed in the dark.»

«You’re tired» the other told him, placing a hand on his shoulder «Maybe it was only a shadow-»

«I know what I saw!»

The pilot stared at the black pit below him. It almost felt like it was calling to him, inviting Poe into the bowels of the earth. A cold rivulet of sweat ran down his temple. He swallowed, his throat dry.

«Are you positive there is no one below us?» he asked, unable to move his gaze from the stairs.

The sergeant hesitated: «Not according to the prison registers.»

Yet, Poe’s guts told him a completely different story and, based on his experience, they were rarely wrong.

«I’m going down there» he said, taking the blaster out of its holster «I’ll be in touch with the radio.»

«Don’t you want backup?»

«If I’m not back before you’ve finished evacuating the prisons, send someone after me.»

With his weapon high and ready to fire, Poe began to climb down the narrow stairs. The deeper he went, the colder the air grew; the pilot found himself holding back a shiver. The passage was claustrophobic and soon a nauseating smell of steel and blood hit his nose. A couple of times, he was tempted to turn around and go back to Finn - screw his guts! -, but he kept descending in that Hell-like pit. Finally, his boots touched the wet floor of the lower levels. The stink was like a punch in Poe’s nostrils. He squinted, trying to get used to the dusky atmosphere; there was no artificial illumination functioning, only cold rays of light fell from holes in the ceiling, regularly arranged along the corridor. They wounded the shadows like bright swords. The pilot tightened the grip on his blaster and made a few, wary steps forward, looking for any sign of the woman in red and her amber irises. The only sounds that reached his ears were the echo of his boots on the floor and drops of water falling in the distance. Every meter or so, on the wall to his left, Poe met the iron doors of the cells; armored, rusty and wide open.

According to their intel, only the captives sentenced to death were hosted in the part of the prison; it was truly a dreadful place. Each time he glanced inside the cages, hoping to find someone still breathing, but all of them were empty… Except for the last one.

«Bloody hell!» Poe exclaimed, realizing the trembling bundle chained to the floor was a prisoner.

He rushed into the cell, setting his blaster aside to assist the man.

«Hey? Buddy, can you hear me?» the pilot shook him gently and the other answered with a soft groan. He was alive.

Poe forced the chain that tied the prisoner’s neck to the ground and managed to lift him straight enough so he could drink from the pilot’s canteen; the poor devil coughed and spat most of the water. The captive’s skin was bone-white under the sweat, his eyes red and surrounded by dark circles. As he helped him drink, the pilot noticed his left arm was missing; from shoulder down, only a stump remained and the bandaged around it were old and soiled. An alarming smell of rotten made Poe almost certain the wound was infected. He needed a doctor, right away. The pilot had taken care of other injured comrades before and knew the best he could do was keeping the prisoner conscious until help arrived.

He activated the radio: «This is Poe Dameron; I’m in the lower levels and I need medical assistance. Do you copy? I found someone, send a medical officer as fast as you can!»

Poe spilled a bit of water on the prisoner’s forehead, washing the filth away from his ruffled ginger hair.

«It’s gonna be okay, buddy» he told him, making an effort to smile «You’re safe now, it’s gonna be alright.»

The eyes of the prisoner were barely open, but he fixed them on the pilot.

A faint mumble came from his cracked lips: «R… en… Ren...»

«“Ben”?» Poe asked, leaning forward to hear better «Is your name “Ben”?»

He took the wheezing as a yes.

«Ben, I am Poe Dameron. I’m with the Resistance and I’m getting you out of here, okay?»

The rushing steps of the medical team echoed from the corridor, at last.

«Hang on, buddy» the pilot whispered him, stroking his hair «You’re safe now. Hang on.»

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, General! :3  
> So turns out the major character dying is Snoke and, yes, I definitely consider him as a major character, being him the main villain of the story u.u


	13. Epilogue - Emptiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where a story ends and a new one begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trivia:**   
>  This fanfic was actually born as a DarkPilot, with an intense and angsty triangle involving Hux. During the making process, I realized Kylux was my OTP and it became a whole new story; only the first chapter hasn’t fundamentally changed from my initial draft.
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It took only a couple of weeks for Hux’s scent to disappear from the coat. When he realized he couldn’t feel it any longer, Kylo filled the fabric with the smell of his own tears. Even the last trace of the General was gone from the universe. Just as Ren’s connection to the Force.

After the battle, he was completely, hopelessly broken and yet all he could feel was emptiness. Lack. Of everything, even sorrow. Kylo was numb when the Resistance had found him and Rey in the officer’s quarters, numb when they brought him back to D’Qar, along with Jiho, and numb when his mother’s arms embraced him. The pain came later and struck hard, like a grip on his chest, suffocating him with its ghostly hands. Hux was dead. He just couldn’t believe it. It was hard, when there was no body to see or touch. What would he have given to stoke Armitage’s hair, to kiss his lips before burying him in the earth. And it would be the only kiss they ever shared; Hux died hating him, because Kylo hadn’t be brave enough to tell him how much he loved him.

Every night their desperate race in the palace replayed in his dreams. Every night he found himself facing the fire, roaring from the dungeons. If it hadn’t been for his family, Kylo would have gone insane.   

He was a prisoner, but Leia had the permission to keep him in her house, at the borders of the Base. Luke was there too; officially, to guard Kylo. In truth, the Skywalker and his daughter were the only ones to know Ren was harmless. He couldn’t escape, even if he had wanted to. Anyway, he had nowhere to run. Jiho didn’t receive the same treatment; her attack to Luke earned the woman an entire squadron, guarding her day and night, as she healed her wounds in the medical facility. Ren hadn’t seen her since they landed on D’Qar. She had quickly glanced at him, before being dragged away. He couldn’t tell if she was scared of him or just tired.

Everyone knew what he had done to Snoke. Word spread fast among the Resistance fighters. They all looked at him with concern, like a wild animal they couldn’t quite trust, even if he secured their victory. Sometimes Kylo caught that same stare in Luke and his mother. He didn’t care. They were right to be afraid: he didn’t feel guilty for the way he killed the Supreme Leader. He would have done it again, without a second thought.

Kylo’s face sank deeper in the black cloth. When they came back, the Resistance had taken his lightsaber and armor, but no one had dared to ask him for Hux’s coat. He spent days with it around his shoulders like a blanket, barely eating and talking even less, while he waited for the Resistance to decide what to do with him. The highest officers had reunited in an improvised jury; in their hands, rested the fate of the Knights of Ren and the Order members that surrendered or got captured. Leia, as a general, was part of the assembly too.

One night, three weeks after the battle, she came home, reunited all four of them in the living room and announced a decision had been made: the Order men were to be sent to the New Republic, where each officer and stormtrooper would get a proper trial. The Knights of Ren were a different matter. Many felt they were Luke’s responsibility, since he used to be Kylo’s master, and therefore they had to be entrusted on his judgment and custody. But before they pronounced the final statement, the jury wanted to hear Kylo and Jiho personally. A sort of trial.

«It’s just a formality» his mother tried to reassured him «You brought down the First Order. We are in debt.»

He nodded and pretended he cared about it. So what if the Resistance forgave him? He had no use of their mercy. Forgiveness was not going to bring Hux back to him.

Forgiveness didn’t make him less a monster.

_The worst part is looking back_

_And knowing that I was wrong_

Even while he slept, Hux knew there were people around him. In his brief moments of consciousness, he could feel them crawling by, like ants, and shouting. They were all shouting. He was sure his head was going to explode. He tried to open his eyes, but the light was so intense he had to shut them again. It wasn’t so bright, before; he remembered darkness and cold, the metallic stench of blood in his nostrils. He remembered pain, running in his body like an electric shock. The pain was gone now, replaced by a strange numbness.

Where was he?

Armitage’s eyes squinted and fluttered. The shouting was loud, but somehow distant. He was laying down, something soft touched his skin. Eventually he managed to recognize something. A shape. A man. He was sitting on the bed next to him, reading something. Hux knew he was worried and terribly tired; he "read"  his emotions as if they were written on his skin. The man looked up and stared at him with deep brown eyes.

He smiled: «Ben! You’re awake.»

Hux frowned. _Ben?_

«Do you remember me?» the other asked, leaning closer to him «I’m Poe. I got you out of that cell.»

He couldn’t recall any cell, just the _feeling_ of it, of its slimy cold.

Hux’s voice came out feeble and harsh: «Why… do you call me “Ben”?»

It was Poe’s turn to frown: «Isn’t it your name?»

He thought about it: «I don’t know.»

Was that pity, coming from Poe? Hux instantly disliked it. And where was all that ferocious pride coming from?

«Don’t worry» Dameron said, placing a hand on his shoulder «You’ve been through a lot, but now you’re with the Resistance. We are going to take care of you, Ben. I promise.»

He was sincere. Hux believed him.

It soon turned out the numbness was caused by sedatives. Poe explained he was in critical conditions, when he had rescued him; some of his ribs were broken, he had many bruises and cuts, but the worst had been the stump. The wound was infected and caused him a violent fever that lasted for days, before the antibiotics had effect. Dameron was not able to tell him how he lost the arm.

The amnesia scared Hux. He didn’t know who to trust. Sure, they all seemed honest when he “read” them, but he couldn’t shake off the feeling he was surrounded by enemies.

Luckily, memories soon started coming back; slowly at first, then like an avalanche. He remembered his name just a couple of day after he woke up: Armitage. General Armitage Hux. He was an officer- no, he _used_ to be one. Something changed that pushed his career of the tracks. He remembered soldiers with white armors, a machine as big as a planet - his machine, he created it - and a black mask. There was someone behind it, someone very important to him. Dark eyes. A scar… _Kylo Ren_. With that name, everything else came back: the Starkiller, their journey on the Vespera, their kiss.

“I’m still alive” he realized, suddenly “I can see him again.”

But the memories of Kylo were not the only ones to make it back. Sometimes, in his nightmares, the crimson woman and her ember irises emerged from the shadows; when that happened, Hux tried his best to shake it off. He wasn’t ready to remember his imprisonment. He would never be. Still, he had no idea of how the Resistance managed to get him out of that cell. By what he gathered from Poe and the hurried chatters in the medical facility, they had won an important battle against the Order. Some said it had fallen. Hux was skeptical about it, but he dared not to ask for more specific informations.

As he put together the pieces of his identity, Armitage was careful not to let anything transpire. They hadn’t recognized him yet - he wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or disappointed about it - so he decided to keep on playing the part of Ben, the unfortunate war prisoner Poe had picked up like a stray dog. Hux needed to recover first, then he would find a way to talk with General Organa herself; she was the key to find Kylo. The Knight was probably still on Ahch-To with Skywalker. All Hux wanted was running back to him, tell him he survived the Order and he would never _ever_ leave him again.

Provided Kylo could forgive him for what he said before taking off with the Vespera.

He wished he could talk to someone about it; Dameron, maybe. The pilot had come to visit him everyday, even for a few minutes. Much against his will, Hux started to like him. But talking would mean revealing his identity and that was something the former officer couldn’t afford. He had to be patient. Sooner or later, the right chance would come.   

_Will you help me find the right way up_

_Or let me take the wrong way down?_

When Rey opened the door she found her cousin already dressed. He had Hux’s coat in his hands and gave her a sad smirk.

«It wouldn’t be wise, hey?» he muttered.

«Wearing a First Order uniform in front of the officers?» she smiled back «Not so much I’m afraid.»

Kylo nodded and put the coat back on the bed, careful not to leave any wrinkles. It was the first time he separated from it since Hux’s death; closing the door behind him awoke the pain in his heart, but it wasn’t as strong as he expected. Maybe it was right what they said, maybe time _did_ heal everything. Almost a month had passed, and already the memory of the General started fading, despite his efforts to keep him alive. He couldn’t remember the exact sound of his voice, or the precise shade of green his eyes had; little things, yet they seemed enormous to him. One day, he thought, he was going to wake up and discover all that was left of Hux was a shapeless ghost. Kylo wouldn’t even remember his face.

Moving on, forgetting… His head knew it would happen, one day; his heart couldn’t bear the very thought of it.

Rey’s hand reached out to his and held it tight. It was unsettling that she could hear all his thoughts, while Kylo felt nothing of her. But at the same time, he was glad she did. It made him feel less lonely.

Luke and Leia waited for them in the hallway, a group of Resistance guards on their side. One of them tried to make a step towards Kylo, a pair of shackles in his hand, but Organa stopped him.

«That won’t be necessary» she said.

Obedient, the soldier stood down.

They all mounted a speeder and began their short journey to the Base. There was a conference room, in the main building; unadorned and claustrophobic to say the least, shaped like an amphitheater. The jury and a good deal of curious Resistance fighters awaited for them. Ren didn’t need the Force to know how tense everyone was.

When they entered, Luke and Leia moved to take their places among the officers. Rey was forced to separate from Kylo; a couple of guards brought him away with them to the bottom of the arena. The girl stared anxiously at her cousin's back, before turning her heels to reach Finn and Poe, who were waving at her from their seats.

«Hey» she said, sitting down next to her friend.

«Hey» Finn greeted back «You alright?»

She shrugged: «A bit nervous, that’s all. I can’t wait for this to end.»

The guards led Kylo to a bench right in front of the stage where the jury stood. Jiho was already sitting on it; the red-haired wore what seemed to be a prison uniform, a grey jumpsuit clearly too big for her. She looked good. Tired, but good. She had regained weight and her cheeks were once more of an healthy pink. Jiho managed to give him a complicit grin.

«Hello master» she whispered «How was mommy’s place?»

«Awful» he whispered back «The hospital?»

She snorted: «They didn’t take their eyes off me even when I had to piss.»

«If you hadn’t helped the Captain escape, none of this would have happened.»

Jiho glared.

«I’m not scolding you» he pointed out.

«Good. ‘Cause I had to» the woman said, toying with the handcuffs around her wrists «I couldn’t let them take Phasma. You should know it.»

Kylo preferred to stay silent. Jiho assumed her could still feel her through the Force; she had no idea he was completely cut off.

“She’ll need to know, sooner or later” he thought, bitterly.

Someone from the jury cleared his throat and the chattering died out. The Knights stiffened, preparing to face the assembly. Jiho glared at the officers with her usual arrogance; Kylo, instead, could feel only indifference.

Admiral Ackbar raised from his seat, officially beginning the trial: «We are gathered here today to decide the future of the organization known as “Knights of Ren”-»

«“Organization”?» Jiho chuckled in Kylo’s ear «When did we become so official?»

«This matter has been discussed among us already» the Mon Calamari continued, ignoring her «But in order for our judgment to be fair, we have called here two of the Knights and gave them the chance to speak. Kylo Ren, do you have anything to say to us?»

Everyone’s eyes were suddenly fixed on him. Kylo felt them hovering above, weighing on him with their expectations and their silence. Jiho stared as well. His mouth was dry. What did they want him to say? What were they waiting for? A confession? A plea for mercy?

He shrugged: «I can’t think of anything.»

Murmur spread across the room. He glanced at Jiho and saw coldness in her eyes. Betrayal.

«Nothing at all?» Ackbar seemed almost embarrassed.

Kylo shook his head: «No. Nothing at all.»

Jiho’s face became white with rage. She stood up, challenging the jury.

«I have something to say» the woman growled «The First Order, the New Republic, you… They are all the same to me. Your ambitions are not so unlike: gain the power to decide this Galaxy’s future. The only difference I see is that some of you found a better way to justify it than the others. Therefore I don’t trust any of you. You won’t have my loyalty today, nor ever» she paused «But my master has my loyalty and my trust. If Kylo says we can be allies, we will be.»

Jiho sat back, surrounded by a stunned silence. Ackbar and the officers stared at her, some with their jaw dropped, unsure if what they had just heard was a threat or a peace offering. Luke tried, failing, to hide an amused snigger.

«Well, uhm...» the Admiral mumbled «This will be noted. Does anyone wish to say something more, before this assembly decides?»

No one moved. Then, from the back of the bleachers, a man rose and cleared his throat. It was Poe Dameron.

«Admiral, may I…?»

«Of course, Dameron» he granted, relieved someone had finally broken the silence «Speak freely.»

«Sir, this man» the pilot pointed at Kylo «Has been my enemy, but now he has my gratitude and my squadron’s. I think all of us owe him something. Thanks to him the war has finally turned in our favor. His actions have saved the lives of countless Resistance fighters, not to mention the prisoners we rescued after the attack. Without its leader, the First Order is shattered, weaker than ever before. The Knights’ help has been critical and we all know it. So consider this, in your judgment.»

Ackbar nodded, thoughtfully: «Thank you, Dameron. We will. The assembly will now retire to discuss.»

«Finn» the pilot said, leaning towards his friend «I have to go now.»

The former stormtrooper reassured him: «Don’t worry, I’ll tell you what happens.»

Poe gave him the best of smiles: «Thanks, buddy.»

«Where is he going?» Rey wondered, as he strived out of the room.

«To see Ben I guess.»

«Who’s Ben?»

«A guy he rescued from the prison» Finn explained, vaguely «He visits him everyday.»

When all the officers were gone, Kylo found the courage to speak: «Jiho-»

«You have to get your shit back together» she stopped him «I know you don’t want to hear this now, but General Hux is dead and mourning him won’t change a damn thing! The Knights are still alive, they are still waiting for their master to come. Think of them and let the dead go, Kylo. We _need_ you.»

His fists tighten: «What if I can’t?»

«You can» Jiho’s voice softened a bit «I believe in you.»

Kylo envied her optimism and wondered if he deserved such loyalty. Definitely not, but he was grateful for it. Jiho was right: he couldn’t walk away from his responsibilities. The Knights still needed his help and, by all the stars!, he was not going to make the same mistakes again. Kylo decided he would bring them all home, unarmed.

It didn’t take the assembly long to come back; apparently the decision wasn’t so hard to make. As they sat again, the audience’s murmur lowered. Everyone was anxious to learn the outcome. Kylo found himself nervous; his mother had been sure the jury would have set them free, but all he could see were the stern faces of the officers. He didn’t know what they were thinking. Once again, he realized how vulnerable he felt without the Force.

«As jointly agreed» Ackbar announced solemnly «The Knights of Ren will not be regarded any longer as a threat to the New Republic and the Resistance. They will be entrusted to Master Skywalker and we hereby establish that a member of the Jedi Order must alway escort them. This meeting is adjourned. May the Force be with you all.»

It felt like an enormous weight was lifted from Kylo’s chest; he could breathe once again. He raised his eyes and saw Leia smiling at him among the jury; she was radiant.

«Hey, do you mind?» Jiho told the guard next to her, showing him the handcuffs with a twinkly grin.

While the confused fighter provided to free the woman, Kylo spotted Rey descending the bleachers in their direction. The girl reached them shortly.

«Does anyone else need a bit of air?» she said, cheerful.

«Yes» he gazed at his mother and Luke; he didn’t want to talk to them just yet «Definitely.»

_Will you stir me out_

_Or make me take the long way around?_

«Doctor Kalonia!» Poe called, rushing towards her.

An entire floor the medical facility had been assigned exclusively to the prisoners saved during the attack at the First Order capital, but the aisles were not as crowded as the Resistance would have liked them to be: less than two-hundred people had been freed, a mere drop in the ocean of the lives the Order had taken. Still, it was something, wasn’t it? A start. Those two-hundred mattered like a thousand.

Kalonia gazed away from a patient, a tired smile on her lips: «Hello Dameron. I wasn’t expecting to see you today. What about the trial?»

«That’s where I come from» he said «How is Ben?»

«Better» she reassured him «He responds to the treatment, the stump is healing well… But his memory just doesn’t come back.»

Poe chewed his lip: «Is there nothing more we can do to help him?»

«Very little. We can make him comfortable. We can heal his wounds. The rest is up to him; he might never regain his memories _at all_.»

There it was again: the sharp frustration that hit Poe every time he felt unable to make the difference. The doctor noticed it as well.

«Poe, I’m sorry, but I can’t understand. I know you saved his life, but why do you care so much about him?»

«You mean I shouldn’t care?» the pilot asked, astonished by the question.

«I mean you seem to care way too much» Kalonia replied «You’ve burden yourself with this man’s destiny. As a doctor and a friend, I’m not sure it’s good for you. It’s not your duty to save him, Poe, you’ve done so much already.»

Poe shrugged. How could he explain the woman that he was sad and frustrated because, despite all their efforts, a genocidal First Order general died? How could he justify it? How could he explain her that caring for Ben, standing by his side, was a way to say “sorry”? And not just to Kylo but to everyone who had lost someone they loved because of Snoke and his minions.

«We were lucky enough to find someone for all of them» Dameron said, gesturing towards the other patients «Friends, relatives and such. But Ben is alone. I’m the only one here for him.»

That was close enough to the truth.

Kalonia didn’t seem convinced: «One could argue the whole Resistance is here for him.»

«But how many of them actually come to talk to him?»

She smirked and Poe knew he had scored a point: «Why don’t you go for a walk today? At the lake, maybe. Ben hasn’t gone out for a while, it will be good for his health.»

«Thanks doctor, I’ll ask him» satisfied, the pilot strolled away.

Hux knew right away Poe was coming; like a scent carried by the wind, the former officer felt Dameron’s familiar presence way before he actually saw him. As always, that certainty unsettled him. Ever since he woke up, the world around him had become a constant cacophony; it was all louder, sharper, as if Hux had lived surrounded by mist and only now the fog had lifted.

Armitage was a skeptical, but not a stupid. Gradually, he started to realize and accept what was happening to him: somehow - for some inexplicable reasons - Hux could sense the Force.

When the pilot approached him, the ginger pretended to be very interested in the book on his laps.

«Hey buddy» Dameron tried to exhibit his best smile as he sat on Hux’s bed «How is it going?»

«Hi Poe» he answered, gazing away from the book as if he had noticed him just now «I’m good. You?»

«Yeah, well, I just came from a trial.»

«Who was the accused?» Hux wondered, trying to keep his question casual.

Poe chuckled: «A better man than I thought at first.»

The pilot didn’t add anything else. Hux tried to “read” him, but he could barely scratch the surface; emotions, abstract thoughts, nothing precise yet. He wanted to improve, though. Sometimes, he toyed with the idea of Kylo teaching him.

«Is it interesting?» Poe asked, examining the book Hux was reading.

Armitage had found it almost by accident: an old ghost story from Coruscant. The villain was the spectre of a Jedi turned to the Dark Side that rose from the grave to take revenge upon his lover, who betrayed him and caused his death. The story was a bit too morbid for his taste, but it helped breaking the hospital monotony. He felt a wave of nostalgia thinking about his beloved Encyclopedia of Imperial Military History; he never knew what happened to it, but he guessed it probably got destroyed along with Vespera IV. Hux missed it so much. Especially the fifth volume.

«It’s not bad» he replied, vaguely.

Dameron nodded: «Hey, guess what! I’ve spoken to doctor Kalonia; she says it would be good for you to get out of that bed, you know, have a walk or something. Would you like that? I can come with you.»

Hux didn’t need to think much about it, not after a month stuck in there. He stretched his back and kicked the sheets aside, eager to get on his feet again.

«What are we waiting for?»

A good walk would do him nothing but good and - who knows? - there was a chance they could “accidentally” bump into Leia Organa in the corridors of the Base. He dressed with Poe’s help, then followed the pilot down the hospital aisle. Hux felt strong and healthy again; it was time to start moving his pieces on the chessboard.

_I took the low road in_

_I’ll take the high road out_

«It’s so peaceful here» Jiho pondered, walking barefoot in the shallow water «I hate it.»

The lake Rey told them about turned out to be just a large pond not far from the base; it was surrounded by shadowy trees that hid most of the sun with their long branches. The bush was quiet around the water; all Kylo could hear was the faint swash of the waves and some bird’s lonely song. A crisp smell of moss and rotting leaves filled his nose and, underneath, something cold, carried by the wind. Summer was ending on D’Quar. He wondered if snow fell on that planet.

Rey voice brought him back to reality: «Why do you say that?»

Jiho shrugged: «Places so quiet always give me the creeps. It feels like something really bad is about to happen. Do you know that sensation? When you are so happy you _know_ it can’t last?»

«I think is called “paranoia”» Kylo replied, sharply, but he understood the woman. That place unnerved him as well.

«So... what now?»

«What do you mean?» he asked, glancing at the red-haired.

«I mean, what are we going to do now?» Jiho explained «About the others.»

«Oh.»

Kylo bit his lip, nervously. Reuniting the Knights would not be an easy task. Sure, the Order had taken a hard blow, but it was none the less a powerful enemy and it would surely look for vengeance against traitors. Such as the Knights. They were not safe out there; the survivors of the Order were probably hunting them down in that very moment and, without the Force, there was little Kylo could do to help.

«Would you sent them a message?» he said, eventually «Tell them the Order is shattered, but still dangerous. Tell them to remain hidden and separated; they have to disappear until it’s safe enough to come home.»

Jiho narrowed her eyes, visibly disappointed: «And when would that be?»

«A year» Kylo decided «We’ll meet at home a year from now. By then, you and I have to make sure the First Order can’t harm them; the Resistance will help us.»

«They are not going to like that» she warned him.

He smiled bitterly: «I know. Please, help them understand it’s for the best.»

He wouldn’t take risks this time, Kylo thought; there wouldn’t be anymore victims of his reckless decisions.

«Why don’t _you_ talk to them?»

A shiver ran down his spine.

«It would be nice for them to hear this from their master, instead of me» Jiho insisted.

«I, err...» he tried to come up with a believable excuse «I don’t think I’d be able to sound confident.»

He could tell by her looks that Jiho suspected he was hiding something, but luckily she had no patience to turn the screw on him.

«Very well» she said, getting out of the water and wearing her shoes again «I’ll do it now.»

«Why don’t you stay a bit longer-»

«I want to do it now» was her blunt answer.

The woman muttered a “see ya” before marching past him and Rey, following the path back to the Base. Silence fell once again on the pond. Kylo snorted and leaned tiredly against a tree. Why was it so difficult to tell her the truth?

«She doesn’t know, does she?» Rey asked, reading his thoughts.

He shook his head in reply.

«When will you tell her?»

«When it’s necessary.»

«Meaning when you won’t be able to hide it any longer?»

«You can’t lecture me on this, Rey; you don’t know her as I do.»

«I know she cares about you very much» she crossed her arms «And she deserves you sincerity.»

«I’ll tell her. One day, just not now» he promised.

His cousin stared at him, an unreadable expression on her face. Then, out of the blue, she stepped forward and hugged him. Kylo was too surprised to move.

«… What are you doing?»

«I’m hugging you.»

«I can see that. Why?»

She held him tighter: «Because I want us to be friends.»

Something inside him melted: «Rey, I’m fine» he tried to lie.

«No, Ben, you’re not» the girl replied «But it’s okay. You don’t have to face this alone. You never had.»

«Aren’t you afraid of me?»

She stiffened a bit: «Because of Snoke?»

«Yes.»

«No» it was her turn to lie «I’m not, Ben.»

«Actually» he muttered «I still prefer “Kylo”.»

Kylo Ren was a man full of hatred and darkness; he had killed his own father for the sake of power, he watched while countless lives were slaughtered and did nothing. But Kylo Ren was also the man who loved Armitage Hux and, someway, as long as he lived part of the General would live as well. That was why he wasn’t ready yet to let Ben Solo be born again. Kylo felt responsible of stealing Hux’s life; he owed him part of his.

«I get it» Rey said «Don’t worry. You coming back with me?»

«I’d like to be on my own for a while» he released from the hug «Do you mind?»

She smiled and shook her head: «I’ll tell Leia. Don’t be late for dinner.»

«I won’t» he promised.

He squeezed Rey’s hands, before letting her go and turning around. The path continued parallel to the pond shores, so he decided to follow it, searching for a quiet place to meditate, or think. Or cry. Or just stand still and let the water wash away a bit of the pain in his heart.

_I’ll do whatever it takes_

_to be the mistake you can’t live without_

Just a couple of months before, Hux would have paid every credit in the bloody Galaxy to get even a single glance at the Resistance Base on D’Qar and now - he gazed at Poe, laughing and chattering at his side - they were practically giving him a guided tour of it!

He and the pilot walked through the corridors crowded with fighters of various species and droids. Almost involuntarily, the former officer counted the personnel, examined their gear - most of it was rubbish - and in his head started forming a list of weaknesses and ways to exploit them.. He considered how critical these informations would have been, were he still a general of the First Order. Hux felt like a wolf roaming among sheeps. A wounded, disguised wolf, but a wolf none the less. Part of him found hilarious how the people around him smiled and waved “hi”; they were so at ease, so relaxed and happy to have won the fight. What would they have done, knowing who poor Ben really was?

«You will love the lake» Dameron was prattling «Well, it’s more of a pond, actually, but you know… How do you feel? You tired? Dizzy?»

«I’m okay» he reassured the pilot «I can’t wait for a bit of fresh air.»

Poe looked overjoyed: «That’s great. Believe me, Ben, you’ll be out of that hospital in no time.»

It was the perfect moment. Hux pretended to get suddenly dispirited: «Yeah, but what after that?»

The pain in the pilot’s eyes was so genuine Armitage almost felt guilty. Almost.

«Let’s face it Poe» he said with a sigh «I’m a cripple, I don’t have a name, or past or a home to go back to. What if I never regain my memories?»

«Don’t say that» Dameron replied «You will remember who you are, I’m sure of it. And even if you wouldn’t… You could stay with us. Join the Resistance. I could introduce you to General Organa; she would find a place for you here.»

It was even too easy.

«Organa…» Hux muttered «I think I heard the doctors mention her. Do you really think she could give me a chance? Even if I’m a no-one?»

Poe smiled: «Of course! Actually, that’s kinda of her speciality.»

They exited the main building and quickly left the airstrips behind, making their way into the green hills around the Base. Ahead of them, the path led to a thick group of trees. Someone strode out of their shadow, a woman with red hair and a grey jumpsuit; Armitage gave her only a distracted glance as she walked away.

«I’d love to meet her, then.»

«She’s been under a lot of pressure recently» the pilot told him «But I’ll arrange something, leave it to me.»

Kylo never seemed so close at reach. It could be a matter of days!

They took the path into the forest of tall trees covered in moss. As he admired their crooked branches, Hux wondered what was he going to tell Kylo, once he had found him. The truth, he resolved; he had to tell him the whole truth. The roots at the sides of the trail grew thicker every step. No matter how hard it would be: he couldn’t keep that secret any longer.

«We are here» Poe said «It’s right in front of us.»

The sun spilled through the leaves and hit his face, blinding Hux for a moment; his eyes squinted and he looked away from the branches, towards the lake. His heart skipped a beat. Armitage turned white as a ghost. Kylo was there, just a few meter from him, standing near the water. He was hugging the Jakku girl.

«Ben? Hey, are you alright?» Poe’s voice seemed to come from miles away.

Hux stared petrified at the Knight; he looked as he released the girl, said a few more words to her and turned away, walking by the pond’s shores. Kylo soon disappeared among the trees, as a dream vanishes with dawn. The scavenger, instead, headed in the opposite direction, towards him and Poe.

«Ben?»

“What are you still doing here, Armitage Hux? Go after him!”

He managed to get a hold of himself: «Poe I’m-» the former officer muttered «Sorry, I have to go.»

«What? Where?»

But Hux was already running to the pond, deaf to the pilot asking him to wait. He couldn’t wait. He waited long enough. Half - way to the water, he bumped right into Rey’s shoulder, but that didn’t stop him either.

«Hey, watch where you’re-» the girl protested, before gazing at him. When she saw his face, her jaw dropped and she froze on the spot, unable to believe her own eyes. Hux was too busy running after Kylo to notice.

«Ben, wait!» Poe tried to catch up with the ginger, but Rey grabbed him by the arm.

«Poe, who was that?» she muttered, shocked.

«He was a prisoner of the First Order; I found him after the assault. Sorry, Rey, but I need to go after him, I don’t want him to get hurt-»

But the girl’s radiant smile stopped him before he could make another step: «I don’t think it will be necessary» she told the pilot «He will be just fine.»

Short of breath, Hux hurried after Kylo’s tracks, frantically looking around to spot him. He tripped on a stone, then on a root, but he got up and carried on; his heart beat so fast it seemed about to burst out of his chest. The path ended in a small cove of grey pebbles and there he found him: Kylo was just a few centimeters away from the water, his eyes lost in the distance. A gentle wind ruffled his black hair. Hux could not believe how much he had missed him.

He couldn’t resist any longer: «Ren!»

Kylo turned around and _saw_ him. His eyes widened. Hux trembled in expectation as he made a few, wary steps towards the Knight; he had alway thought Kylo was handsome in a strange, very peculiar way and now he still found him stunning. Even the scar on his face seemed the most beautiful thing in the world.

The Knight stared blankly at him for what seemed an eternity: «That’s it, I lost it» he muttered, eventually «Now I see dead people.»

It took Hux a moment to realize.

«Wha-? I am not dead, you _oaf!_ » he screeched, indignantly «I’m standing right in front of you.»

Kylo lost any colour. He voided the distance between them and, hesitantly, reached out to touch Hux’s shoulder. When his fingers made contact, he jumped, as if he was surprised to feel something concrete beneath them and not empty air. He held Hux’s arm tighter.

«You’re real» his voice trembled «You are alive.»

Tears filled Kylo’s eyes: «But I thought… The prisons were on fire, I saw you die in a fire and I could do nothing to help you-»

«Fire?» Hux frowned «What prisons are you talking about?»

«The palace prisons, you were supposed to be there.»

«I wasn’t» he said «I was not there. The Resistance found me practically on the other side of the planet and they-»

Hux couldn’t finish. Without a warning, Kylo trapped him in an embrace so tight it left him breathless. It was unexpectedly natural for Hux to hug him back; he sank his face into Kylo’s shoulder, savoring the smell of his clothes. Ren’s body was shaken by violent sobs.

«I’m sorry» he cried, clinging to Hux as if he feared the first gust of wind could drag him away forever «I’m sorry, it’s all my fault. I just- I didn’t want to lose you. I lied because I wanted to keep you close, but I never intended to-»

He released the ginger enough to stare at his stump: «Your arm...»

Hux felt tears prickling his eyes as well: «Oh, that’s alright. They make very good protesis, nowadays.»

For once, there was no sarcasm in his voice.

«Please, forgive me» Kylo kept sobbing «I know I have ruined your career and I can’t get it back to you, but I… I-»

«Ren» Hux interrupted him «Shut the fuck up.»

He passed his hand through Kylo’s hair, around his nape, drew the Knight’s lips to his and kissed him as he had wanted to do since the day they left on the Vespera. His mouth was soft and warm as Hux remembered - only this time it didn’t taste of cheap alcohol. Kylo jumped at first, unprepared, then he completely abandoned himself. A part of him still couldn’t believe Hux was there but, if that was really a dream, he never wanted to wake up again.

When they separated, they were both panting; for a while they remained silent, forehead against forehead. The Galaxy could end any moment and they would have not realized it. They were aware of nothing except each other.

«I love you» Kylo whispered, out of breath.

Hux never knew someone could be as happy as he was to hear those words.

He chuckled: «I know, I love you too».

 

  
The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehm ehm *clears throat* this is not the end, actually. You’ll be seeing me shortly, to be frank, with the second part of this story, which I called “Gasoline”; you will soon understand why (it will be painful, obviously). Yes,    
>  __  
>  habemus sequel!   
>    
>   There are still lots of questions left without answer, like “who the hell is Rava?” or “will Kylo regain his connection to the Force?” and also “what happened to the other Knights?”, “why did the crimson bitch save Hux?” (mind me, not that we’re actually complaining about that…), “who are the people Luke wants to protect Rey from and why did they kill her mother?”, “who was Rey’s mom, in the first place?!”, “what happened to Vespera from I to III?” and - the most important of all - “will we ever see Bewee the Wookie again?”.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> The answers to these and many other questions will be revealed in “Gasoline”.
> 
>  
> 
>  


End file.
